5.11.2012

About that Time Magazine porn cover...


If you are here looking for the original post, I took it down because I have gotten to know Jamie and she is an amazing person and mother and I regret deeply what I wrote.

104 comments

  1. Agree!!!! I didn't breast feed neither of my boys and they're doing perfectly good. I had strong opinions about this article and I thought it was offensive to moms who can't/didn't breast feed their child. And on top of that if you have a toddler attached to your mom like this lady did on the cover the magazine, to me that's just fucken gross(excuse my French). Lol

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  2. totally grosses me out

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  3. Um have I mentioned that I love you?? You pretty much read my mind!..that bish is cray.

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  4. Um.....dude that introduced this whole "attachment parenting" idea was raised by a single mom. I know for myself, as a single mom to two kids, you don't really have a whole lot of time to devote solely to your children.

    Makes me wonder if maybe good ol' Dr. Sears is more or less saying this "attachment parenting" is the way to go because he probably didn't get enough attention from his mom?? IDK. Maybe far fetched, but it makes me wonder.

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  5. Sorry, double comment because I just watched the Today Show clip - yeah, apparently that "attachment" parenting" worked out real well. He was so well behaved throughout the whole interview. *sarcasm* Someone please tell that child to sit his ass up, get it together & be quiet! LOL

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  6. I was at a birthday party, and this woman who had six kids and was pregnant was sitting at the same table as me. At one point her five year old came up to her with a cookie and asked for milk to go with it. Normal, right? Until she pulled up her shirt right there and he took a few gulps, and then ran off.
    Experience that when you're 17, and you won't breast feed past a year!!!

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  7. I'm not a parent so I always feel less than qualified to weigh in on topics like these, but personally, I think that if you are old enough to ask for the breast milk, you're too old for the breast milk.
    And I went over to the Today Show clip... that's not exactly an example of good parenting. Cut the cord.

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  8. I just discovered your blog,and I LOVE you and your blog..You are mycup of tea and sooo refreshing.I read many blogs and I have gone back and read so many of yours and I just ADORE you and love your sense of humor. I have 2 grown sons(24 and 19) and think you must be a funny and fabulous mom,too... by the way,Happy Mother's Day!

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  9. Totally Agree! I think it is disgusting that someone would breast feed till a child is 3 or 4. The point of breast feeding is to get your child extra nutrients and vitamins they need and like you said after the first year, two at the most is all that breastfeeding should be done for. I breast fed for 6 weeks and I disliked it very much! If I have another baby in the future I will probably just go straight to bottle feeding. It's not for everybody! Great post!

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  10. Agreed! It's just down right weird! When your toddler is still dependent on your boobs for a little drinky drink after preschool, you're not really encouraging him to be independent! Not only does the child form an unhealthy attachment, but the mother as well!

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  11. Wait, what happened to Elvis? ;) Kidding! You made some awesome points, as always. I'm pretty astonished by that cover and what they were hoping to accomplish/prove. To each their own I suppose but when a child becomes school age I can see where their still being breast-fed would start to affect their classmates/children they interact with. I mean, they're not an infant anymore. Kids start to know what is going on at that age. Anyway, I hope you have a great Mother's Day!!! :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

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  12. preach it! I breast feed my little one, but I do not believe that is the only way to do it, I feel that is best for my family, not everyone else's. My sister has adopted 3 children, and she did not breast feed them. My kid is 14 months old, and I hope we're done soon (I work nights so it means I can sleep in a little more in the morning), but we will not go past 18 months , and we do not BF in public and it's just 2 times a day. I think it's horrible and sad and unfair for people to push/force their opinions on people! I love your post, read it to my husband and we both laughed! We also both loved your post about you screwing up your kids...with the carpet cleaning man...we were cracking up!!

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  13. Wow... I read the article and can't believe she was breastfed until she was six!! I don't know much about parenting, since I'm not one, but six years is too old. Plus, her breast feeding her son and him being three is way too old too.

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  14. So I'm pretty sure this is hands down my favorite post of yours. Ever.
    Totally freaks me out that this kid is practically 4 and still breast feeding. I'm not a mom and certainly no where near that day, but as of now, I believe that if they can verbally ask for the boob, then it's time for it to end.
    "I mean, it should be at least 10 more years before he sucks on someones boob for pleasure." DYING laughing over this. You're amazing.

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  15. That is absolutely disgusting!! It's so wrong. This child is at the age that the mom needs to be teaching him that this is inappropriate... not encouraging it.

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  16. Hahahahaha LOVE IT!!
    My siblings and I weren't breastfed, and at the risk of sounding pompous; we all turned out above average in everything (including ego, apparently) and have been very successful in our short lives!
    I am so sick of this breast is best crap!! Yeah, maybe it is for some people, but definitely not for everyone!
    I pretty much wanted to break Giselle Buttchin's face when she said she wanted there to be a worldwide law forcing all mother to breast food! Ummmm...WHAT THE EFF YOU STUPID B!!!!!
    But back to this particular subject: my stance is if the kid can ask for it, they ain't gettin' it!
    But as I am nowhere near a mother myself, feel free to completely disregard my obnoxious opinions :)

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  17. AMEN, Mama! The first thought that crossed my mind when I saw this cover was "EW." Seriously, makes me really uncomfortable seeing {what I also suspected to be a 5-year-old} "breast feeding" if you can even call it that at that age. That poor kid is in for a world of hurting when he gets to 1st grade {if he isn't in 1st grade already that is.} ;)

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  18. A to the MEN RAVEN!!! AMEN!

    I watched the clip, that kid acted like a freaking 2 year old and was so babied...MAN UP! lol I am sorry I teach my little men to be tough! I still coddle them as my husband says but not to crazy extents! And I thought the same thing...that kid is HUGE! Vincent just turned 3 and I cannot even fathom breastfeeding him! I even get weirded out when he watches Jude get fed...just not something I want him seeing 247, crap sometimes it weirds me out a tad and I have breastfed them all..I am just very private with it! No need to be all public with my twins aka the boobies!

    xoxo

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  19. let me clear up... me, no prude at all. i follow your blog... so there you go.

    no issues with breastfeeding however feel it is a VERY private thing.

    i seem to be in the minority on this as i live in a land of
    'pull-out-boob-child-climbs-on' with no thought of modesty or privacy... on the train, in the park, ironically as the mother walked through the dairy department of our grocery store. true story. talk about muti tasking. i died.
    seen it too often for it to be an isolated case of public boob sighting.

    seriously saw the time cover and thought wow must be some european salute to mother's day.

    mother enough?! read that and i said out loud.... mother *&$#ER!

    breastfed my first child for 6 months, in came 1st tooth annnnd DONE.
    cannot imagine how one goes about this when the teeth come in and 3+ years?! leather nips? thinking yes, has to be.

    oh and i breastfed 26 years ago and not a popular choice at the time. my friends thought it was gross. i did it anyways, did it because i believed in it, still do. however again it is a private thing no matter how long one plans to nurse. and as far as age... let us be realistic about who's getting what out of this nursing at a certain point. just say'n, get real.

    dr sears.... dr please.

    another entertaining and well written post raven, nice job!
    xo tracie

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  20. I agree 100%. The title is a bit offensive. I breastfed but was only able to do so for a short period. I never tried to push my opinion or choice on to any other mother. To each their own. That kid has to be more than 3. For some reason this reminded me of the kid I saw yesterday ,like 6 still sucking on a pacifier. To each their own, like I said. Good post. You're MOM enough! =]

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  21. I completely agree with you! This is so wrong in so many level. It's absolutely disturbing to let your 5 year old suck your nipple...like what the hell happens if he's at school and he's hungry or whatever...is he gonna be screaming for mom's boob?! So inappropriate. I guess to each their own lol.

    Hope you have a great weekend and Mother's Day!!

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  22. This picture completely grosses me out! What the ef was this lady thinking???

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  23. Preach on sista! Maybe this is how all those "crunchy moms" get so skinny, they breastfeed until their at their desired weight?

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  24. i saw this on the today show. can someone please give that child a fork and spoon and sit him at the table where he belongs? i am all for breastfeeding and that jazz, but come on ppl....when they start getting teeth get them off the boobie! again, i know nothing about children or pretend that I do, but it doesnt take a parenting guru to know that something in that picture is just plain WRONG. that poor child is going to be haunted by this photo the rest of his life. poor guy.

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  25. Oh my is this the craziest thing I have ver heard of! I am with you, if you want to breastfeed do it, if not don't. Bottom line though you shouldn't judge! My mom didn't breastfeed any of her four children or do the attachment parenting and I mist say I think the four of us ended up just fine!

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  26. Because THAT child is going to have friends once he grows up!(sarcasm)
    How humiliating! Disgusted. Wrong wrong and just so wrong. Amen. LOL

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  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. It appears as though she is removing comments that disagree with her rudely written blog post.

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    2. I suppose she needs to keep her army of haters near and dear? Insane, some of - most of - what is written here. I'd like to see some real discussion here, but if the "author" removes all opposing comments, that's not possible to do.

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    3. It's removed by the author of the COMMENT.

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  28. Couldn't agree more!
    That's just disgusting. AND these kids are going to be the ones who are bullied... "dude you are ten and you don't know how to eat with a knife and fork?" "You mean to tell me that you suck on a tit everyday?" AGH!
    Some parents! Honestly, why can't we just leave pregnancies and being a mom to woman and their instincts, what works for one doesn't work for another.

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  29. Shut up! I just posted about this like 10 minutes ago, and last night when I was reading it, I told my husband, I bet Raven will post about this. (He knows you as that smart ass mom blogger.) My post is more neutral, however, considering my current source of employment and some certain fam members who read my blog. I bout threw up.

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  30. I am not a mom, but this almost made me sick when I read it... How could anyone do this?? I've heard tons of great things about breast feeding,but there comes a point when enough is enough. Shes past that point!

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  31. You make me laugh EVERY TIME I read your blog. Hilarious and so true. Preach it, girl!

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  32. AMEN, SISTER, AMEN!

    My son is a month old and I chose not to breastfeed him because I'm finishing my senior year in college and ended up going back to school after 2 weeks. To say I'm less of a mother for that totally offends me.

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  33. I absolutely agree with everything you said.

    Except the part about Elvis.

    He's alive and chillin' with Tupac.

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  34. U freaking crack me up!!!!!! WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!! All 3 of my babies were NEVER breast feed; formula from day one and all 3 of them hardly ever get sick. My oldest is in 2nd and is in both Accelerated Math and LA. Therefore, "Breast is best," whatever!!!!!!! And at 5, disquisting!!!!!

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  35. I agree 150% is so gross what our people thinking.

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  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. clearly, the author of this blog doesn't want anyone who comments to "disagree" with her. Notice how all of the comments are positive and in praise of her very poorly written blog?

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    2. Lol, that means the author of the comment deleted it.

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  37. I'm am a fan of breast feeding (did it past a year w my daughter) and being emotionally available to your kid but its totally weird to BF that long. I believe that all of us as Moms should butt the hell out of each others business and not put each other down ("Mom enough"?!? Are you serious?) but at the end of the day, if you make decisions that go against societal norms (like BFing a kid who's learning his times tables at school) people are going to make fun of you.

    It doesn't seem to me to be necessary OR a decision that would contribute to developing an emotionally strong independent little kid...

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  38. That is definitely one way to make your son a boob man.

    Or maybe not.

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  39. I think breastfeeding is great! I don't think the entire world needs to see you do it! I don't even want to see you breastfeed your newborn....put a cover over yourself. And this four year old child doing it just grosses me out. I mean seriously! That kids acted terrible during the interview & just was all together annoying. People are stupid! Teachers will hate that child.

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  40. I so agree. I've been ranting about this article all morning. I'm so with you- that kid is five. I was saying it all day.

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  41. Well, I was going to write a post about this cover, but you literally took every word out of my mouth. Well said Mama! Some people are koo koo Bananas! That Kid on the cover is totally 5! Poor little dude

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  42. I agree, but it's very taboo to say it in my circle of peeps, so I will get my jollies here.

    I can't believe you haven't had an angry comment yet, I'm shocked!

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  43. well, im not a mom so i cant really have an opinion...but i do! if your kid can come walk up to you to get his/her milk..that's too much.

    & yes i definitely think that people go so far out of the way to just be different (that's how this whole breed of 'hipsters' came to be! i see it all the time in nyc!!) and it's unecessary.

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  44. I've never had kids, so maybe I'm crazy. But I think this is WEIRD. Obviously I don't live under a rock and I know that breastfeeding is healthy and perfectly normal (shit, it's the fastest way to lose weight after having a baby, from what I hear). but for a child who can walk and talk... it's WACKADOO! If you try to send your kid on a playdate and he/she won't eat normal food because all he eats is nipple, that's not okay. Talk about effing your kids up...

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  45. I think the point here is to support each other as moms, not judge. To each their own - we are all just trying to do the best we can! :)

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  46. OMG! So... I totally thought this cover was fake. I knew where they were going with the article, but assumed they were just actors/models and it was somehow photoshopped. Oh no. It's real?!?!?! So that really is her child with her boob in his mouth!??! On a magazine cover?!?! Fine. If you want to breastfeed your kid for eternity... I don't really care. It's weird, but I don't really care. But the fact that you put your child on a magazine so he can forever be "that kid"... crazy. I feel sorry for that child.

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  47. Agreed! My opinion is that it's just weird. I breast fed both my kiddos and for me, once they got teeth they were done and our "relationships" are fantastic! They are healthy, smart, well mannered, polite, good looking kids to boot :)
    Too each their own, I guess. Great post!

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  48. THANK YOU!!!! I'm all for the rest of the attachment parenting. To each their own. But that breastfeeding toddler part is just disgusting!! A child that old does not need to be attached to a breast. They are just setting their child up for a lifetime of emotional and psychological issues. I tried breastfeeding my daughter, but wasn't able to. I was put on a special diet for medical reasons, and it effected my milk supply. I wanted to be able to breast feed my daughter, and it really hurt when people would judge me for bottle feeding an infant.

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  49. Let me guess she still uses the month range to tell people how old he is.....he's 48 months. Ugh I hate that just say he's four

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  50. AGREED AGREED AGREED. There is nothing "natural" about this.

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  51. SICK! I saw this shit the other day and about vommed. Except I thought the kid was 8 but then again, I don't have any of my own yet so how the hay would I know?

    What I do know is that if he's big enough to lace his own shoes and NOT be in diapers, his mouth should NOT be around your nipple. DISGUSTING...

    and I'm all about breastfeeding too...just not 10 year old BOYS on the cover of a damn magazine. TIME Magazine, at that!

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  52. Totally agree. It's just weird to see a kid above 1-maybe 2, hangin' off the teet. I'm pretty sure the little boys are going to grow into D-bag womanizers and the little girls are going to have attachment issues to boys. Or girls even. It's ALL publicity in my opinion.

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  53. Congratulations on writing about something you know nothing about. If you knew about Grumet or the cover you wouldn't be saying this crap. She even spoke about the Today show interview on her blog: http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/getting-fed-to-the-wolves/?doing_wp_cron=1343168332.5082769393920898437500

    And the Kellymom interview is great to learn about the four mothers with their children that participated in the TIME shoot. Mothers should be encouraging each other. It is really sad to see such hate on this blog.

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    1. Kayla, I agree. this is really sad - so much lack of information and critical thinking skills!

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  54. Chica, I didn't bf and I hang out with all those bf nazis. No one has ever made me feel less than. Maybe because I'm not?

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  55. Wow! What an interesting article that shows just how ignorant some people are! Your post really shows your contempt for other mums... and the comments that you've fired up are even worse.
    Tiffany said...
    I think breastfeeding is great! I don't think the entire world needs to see you do it! I don't even want to see you breastfeed your newborn....put a cover over yourself.
    REALLY!! I'm supposed to cover myself and my newborn!! I don't think so! I can breastfeed and show LESS skin than a woman in a bikini at the beach. So please don't tell me that I need to cover up to feed my child!
    I think you should get another hobby. Not one where you're slagging other mums. I fed my first daughter until she self weaned at 20 months and will feed my second daughter for as long or more if she wishes.
    This child would not I imagine be having feeds at the shops or park as people are alluding too. My daughter was left with one feed before bed. A beautiful time between just her and I.
    If only we could band together as mums and not hate on one another.

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  56. Wow. You are hateful. I'm sorry for whatever is so bent within you that you find it necessary to say such things about a woman (and a child!) that have never done anything to harm you. You are not funny. You are hateful. Shame.

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  57. Wow. What is wrong with you?? Why would you ever judge another parent in such a disrespectful way?! Why do you even have any followers of your blog? That id what is truly disturbing about your post. And please, please cite your "sources" that say Breastfeeding isn't beneficial past age one. I've been scouring the Internet trying to find just ONE article that states this and no luck. You should be ashamed of yourself, and so should all the haters that left such nasty comments.

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  58. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    Wow..... What an angry group of women!!!! I hope you shield your children from your hatred and judgement. Sad!

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  59. Before you post something SO judgmental, you might stop and think a little more about how things in this world happen. Jamie's participation in the Time article was originally supposed to solely be in support of Dr. Sear's attachment parenting methods. Jamie did not curate the photos nor did she conceive of the headline. She and her family are not judgmental people that you write of in this post, where you also accuse them of lying about her son's age and criticize the pose for the photo. Time magazine can take credit for what you have bought into hook line and sinker, which is that moms are horrible to one another and judge each other's choices in a very mean and sarcastic fashion. Twenty years ago Demi Moore posed nude on the cover of Vanity Fair at nearly full term pregnancy and the same barbs were hurled at her. Before then I NEVER heard that a pregnant woman is beautiful, and it really broke ground for women. I believe 100% that Jamie's photo will one day be recognized as the thing that started people talking about how GREAT it is that we have options in how we raise our children and pray that our minds can be open to it. Until then, I just hope all the negativity you just put out there will dissipate - it's very concerning that a mom who breastfeeds can incite such hatred.

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  60. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    People that say things such as " we did (fii in the blanks) and we turned out OK are ridiculous. Learn from your mistakes. Parent in a gentle and loving manner. Do not repeat the past.

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  61. I personally know this mom, and her son IS 3. So there.

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  62. Not to mention your grammar sucks...you must have sucked a fake nip, eh?

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  63. It makes me sick to see how quickly women will turn on each other. First of all, you have no idea what you are talking about. You can write a blog so you should be able to do a internet search right? Try googling "extended breastfeeding". You'll find that it's very common in many other countries. Also, every single person on here that is making this sexual is disgusting, perverted and should be ashamed of themselves. You are the ones with the problem not her. Breastfeeding at any age is not sexual, not to the mother or to the child.ANYONE WHO THINKS IT IS, IS GROSS. I cringe at the way you are all talking about this...obviously you lack class and compasssion. Also, I know Jamie Grumet personally. She is the sweetest woman ever and one of the most exemplary mothers I've ever seen. She is deeply immersed in charity and is an adoptive mother. She is kind, classy and extremely intelligent. Her son Aram, is in fact three soon to be four. She was not paid for the photos of the TIME cover. She did it solely to bring awareness to extended breastfeeding because it's what she believes in. She believed it would help other women be accepting. But instead it showed that many women ignorant, cruel and stupid. Maybe you should look at your own character before attacking someone elses.

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  64. I am far and beyond not impressed with your post. Not only do you sound rude and ignorant, but completely hypocritical and immature. Mothers should unite no matter how they parent as long as it is loving and for the best of their child, and no one should be criticized for what they believe to be the best for their own child. Like others have said, this is a very personal choice. Who are you to judge? The next time you post something like this, I'd suggest putting a little more thought behind it.

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  65. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    I feel sorry for the lady who wrote this and the obviously self absorbed women who commented in agreement. There's definitely some guilt and defensiveness in those comments.

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  66. I find your irrational rant to be ridiculous. This women is doing what is best for her child. Have you read the studies about the benefits of breastfeeding past infancy...the immunity a child receives from breastmilk should be enough to make any mom want to breastfeed for more than a year. Do you think women who breastfeed in Korea, Africa, Sweden, etc past infancy are pornographic or only American moms? This idea of breastfeeding a toddler as being sexual and wrong is an American idea...the homeland of over sexuality. People need to figure out where their idea's on breastfeeding are coming from...culture or fact. Here is a great article from an anthropologist about when humans should wean http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html Additionally, educate your self. The world health organization say women should breastfeed for AT LEAST two years. As a postpartum RN who works with lactation, MD's, nutritionist all will tell the women on time is doing NOTHING wrong. She is doing was is Best!

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  67. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    I don't know the lady on the cover but I do feel sorry for the person who wrote this blog and for her children who have to grow up being raised by someone so judgemental and truely hateful to refer to breastfeeding as porn. What a hateful group of women. I hope you learn how to grow up and act like a respectful human being in time for your children to learn those important life lessons.

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  68. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    The entire post is just plain awful and sad but the worst part for me is calling breastfeeding at any age, porn. What loving mother is having sexual thoughts while nourishing/nurturing her child? How would it promote abnormal sexuality in a little one?? PORN?!?YOU.ARE.SICK. Look at the media, flip through a magazine and see the sexualization of breasts EVERYWHERE. OUR BREASTS ARE ON OUR BODIES TO FEED OUR CHILDREN. And it's not up to women like you to decide how long a child might receive their mothers milk. Why in the world would you give your child cows or goats milk? Because it contains NUTRIENTS!! Why not make it HUMAN milk since we are humans and all! Grow up and stop spreading hate because this is an act of love. PEACE

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  69. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    I'm all for sharing your opinion and can respect the fact that you don't understand or appreciate the benefits of breastfeeding beyond infancy. But the way you approached it here is disrespectful and hurtful. The worst part --- your comments about a child. What kind of mother shows such disregard for others? Please, please, be funny, be opinionated, be bold, but don't attack other mothers in an effort to garner more hate in your comments. And do your research next time.

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  70. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    It is very interesting that the last comment was the 15th May. With many agreeing with the 'bloggers opinion'. That is right 'her opinion' Then the mud slinging starting....Not everybody is going to agree with breastfeeding children past infancy! That is something every mother who does breastfeed past infancy has to deal with! Not everyone agrees with Dr Sears! That is something that every attach parent also has to deal with! Everyone is entitled to 'their opinion' whether we agree on 'attachment parenting' or not. It is not the be all and end all, as no one is correct on how a mother brings up her child. Every mother is entitled to their own beliefs, opinions and parenting theories. But you can not! I mean, YOU CAN NOT! expect every mother in the world who has has seen the time magazine cover and expect every mother in the world to agree with it. Cause every mother does not! Take the 'bloggers opinion' with a grain of salt, move on, and stop expecting every mother to agree with breastfeeding a child past infancy, and learn to deal with it!

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  71. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    You are nothing but a bully. You are a mother. How would you feel if someone talked about your son the way you talked about that little boy...making fun of the way he acted on TV? Only a coward makes fun of a child. Most of the people commenting on this disgust me. You are all just a bunch of hateful, judgmental bullies.Guess what? The world has enough ignorance as it is and we're sick of people like you. Work on your tolerance before you ruin your character.

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  72. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    Not only is this post ignorant, hateful and lame, but do are the majority of the comments. You ate a sad representation of women and I will never read a word you write again. Shame on you.

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  73. The reason the comments are starting again is because this blog post finally found it's way onto facebook supporters of breastfeeding. No one has an issue with the fact that she disagrees with extended breastfeeding. She's within her rights to do so. But she did it in such a hateful way..making fun of her kid, insinuating that it was sexually motivated...it's cruel and thoughtless. This is a person she's talking about. And it's extremely hurtful and disrespectful. She got plenty of praise for her opinions. Now she's getting some flak. If she doesn't like it, she shouldn't post things on the internet for everyone to read.

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  74. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    It's truly amazing to me that so many people who do not study pediatric medicine, adult medicine, biological anthropology, cultural anthropology, nutrition, child development, primatology or any other field that might involve breastfeeding have such loud opinions about it. And moreso, they're not at all interested in what these disciplines have to say about it at all. No one with a negative opinion here has any studies to cite, the opinion is just that it's "gross".

    And even more than all of that, perpetuating the mommy wars is completely useless to all women, regardless of parenting style. It eliminates our support systems, and ultimately contributes to our patriarchal societal norms. Just because it's women perpetuating this system does not make it less damaging, ladies!

    Step it up, ladies. This is not acceptable - no matter what you think about breastfeeding.

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  75. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    To sexualize an act of both nutrition and comfort, for which we are so brilliantly designed, is shameful. It shows how skewed women are by this misogynistic society. Our breast were made for this above all else. And shame on you for putting out such hateful views about a mother and child!

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  76. I love your blog, Raven, but I've been friends with this cover mom, Jamie, for a while now and the whole way the cover came across was completely Time's doing. her son really is 3, or might have just turned 4 by now, but their family is super tall. I understand finding the humor in the situation and being sensational and all, but I want to stand up for her because she is really a great person and mom who was caught up in this publicity stunt. she is an advocate for AP and that's great, but judgmental she is NOT.

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  77. AnonymousJuly 24, 2012

    Wow. I have never seen a blog with such awful writing, horrible photography, and overall low-quality. This is what a blog looks like when the blogger isn't really a writer, just a mean girl with an internet connection.

    Aside from the overall low quality of your writing, you are also incredibly ignorant about nursing. A minimal amount of basic research would have led you to realize that the child on the cover was, in fact, 3 at the time of the shoot and debunked a lot of your hateful assumptions. Please educate yourself instead of spreading such misinformation and ignorance.

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  78. AnonymousJuly 25, 2012

    It's funny how judgmental people get when they accuse other people of being judgmental. I don't agree with your post, Raven. But I apologize for the downright hatefulness in some of the comments from yesterday. Mommas should love, support, and when necessary educate. I'm tired of everything putting us on defense mode. Put your claws away ladies. Before somebody gets hurt.

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  79. AnonymousJuly 25, 2012

    Your blatant ignorance disgusts me.

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  80. So here is my original comment on this post...

    Jamie said...
    I'm am a fan of breast feeding (did it past a year w my daughter) and being emotionally available to your kid but its totally weird to BF that long. I believe that all of us as Moms should butt the hell out of each others business and not put each other down ("Mom enough"?!? Are you serious?) but at the end of the day, if you make decisions that go against societal norms (like BFing a kid who's learning his times tables at school) people are going to make fun of you.

    It doesn't seem to me to be necessary OR a decision that would contribute to developing an emotionally strong independent little kid...

    And here we are a few months later... I completely stand by it. Breast feeding a pre-schooler goes against societal norms and is not biologically beneficial in any way (nutritionally, emotionally, socially, etc).

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  81. AnonymousJuly 25, 2012

    As mothers we need to support each other not belittle one another into making people think that what they are doing is wrong. For the people that think it is gross or not normal, could you please take the time to so a little research on breastmilk and when the natural age of weaning would be for a child to actually be done with breast milk. I have a friend of mine whos husband is currently deployed to afghanistan fighting. When he returns home he wants to have some of his wifes breastmilk for the simple fact that it is made for humans and it is healthier then cows milk which is intended for calves. He and his newborn will benefit from their family members breastmilk.. totally not gross...people need to grow up on this subject. America is one of the few countries that look down on breastfeeding past infancy...

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  82. AnonymousJuly 25, 2012

    "but at the end of the day, if you make decisions that go against societal norms people are going to make fun of you."

    Wow, what terribly sad logic behind that statement. Are you planning on teaching your children to conform to society in every way so they don't get made fun of?

    Let's think of other people who were made fun of for going against societal norms:

    -Ellen when she announced she was gay.
    -Martin Luther King Jr. for believing segregation had no place in America.
    -Abolitionists when they said slavery should be put to an end.

    Your argument isn't very solid. There is no doubt Jamie expected negative reactions from the cover. The point was we need to be looking internally and realizing we are the problem, not the act of breastfeeding an infant. If you don't want do it, don't. How is my choice to breastfeed my children any length of time going to affect you? Right, it is not. So why criticize it? We need to start stepping it up and realizing that by criticizing what we don't understand we are the ones perpetuating the media driven "mommy wars."

    And then here you say this: "I believe that all of us as Moms should butt the hell out of each others business and not put each other down"

    Contradicting your own statement you then say: "Breast feeding a pre-schooler goes against societal norms and is not biologically beneficial in any way (nutritionally, emotionally, socially, etc). "

    Defensiveness of your own choices not to do this is what is driving these comments. I raised all of my children this way and I know many others who have done the same. The children are not only considered successful by Western society's standards (both of my children have doctorates, families, and successful careers they love), but they also have such empathy for others. We are not saying everyone needs to parent the way we do. What we are trying to say is this is an option that works for a lot of families. People have been shamed into hiding this parenting style because of bigoted comments like the ones you have made. That is shameful.

    If you read the mother's statements she is quite clear there is more than one healthy way to parent and she is advocating for parents to make educated choices in the way they parent and to stop judging others who do things differently. You should read her blog: http://iamnotthebabysitter.com/

    And you should also get educated on some of the silly concerns you have brought up with breastfeeding a toddler. Not only does the immunological properties of milk not expire immediately at one year, there is an emotional bond through the act of breastfeeding that promotes independence. Please go read some of the scientific research on the subject before giving such uninformed opinions. It is hurtful to other mothers who may feel it is right for their family, but chose not to out of fear of judgment.

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  83. AnonymousJuly 28, 2012

    What a hateful piece of writing. I am all for having your own opinions but there is absolutely no need to attack others. Shameful!

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  84. I have to admit that reading both the post and the subsequent comments led to a sick feeling in my stomach and a heaviness in my heart. I am so incredibly tired of the "Mommy Wars" and this post just dumped a truckload of gasoline on the fire!

    When I was in high school (which, I'm assuming, most of us have graduated from), girls often put each other down because of two things: 1) perceiving a situation/belief as something other than what it was 2)out of jealousy and a lack of self-confidence.

    So the problem here is that the formula mamas are on the defense because they do, in fact, want to be "mom enough." If you feel like you have parented to the best of your ability, then who cares what some tactless magazine like TIME decides to put on its cover?

    Breastfeeding mothers are also on the defense because their motives for nursing their children are being challenged. The World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend nursing to two years of age or older to be of the most optimal benefit. To deny the nutritional and developmental benefits of nursing is akin to an ostrich. Bury your head in the sand, but the facts remain.

    To each their own, right? The problem comes when women feel so defensive over a random magazine cover that they take to attacking mothers and children that they do not know. I may disagree with the way some choose to parent, but I will NEVER insult another's child.

    So let's move beyond the high school years and be supportive of what we DO have in common, breastfeeding or not. Our children need us to show them an example of how to be accepting of others and how to gracefully disagree. It is ok to have an opinion, but choose the delivery method wisely.

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  85. AnonymousJuly 30, 2012

    You sound so bitter and angry.

    Mothers should not lash out at other mothers like this.

    I could state all the scientific facts that prove you wrong, but I think many others already have done so.

    In conclusion, all I want to say is: Shame on you!

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  86. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  87. Shame on you! Aren't we supposed to support each others? Aren't we supposed to teach tolerance to our kids?

    If you took the time to read Jaime's blog before writing such awful and insulting statements, you would see she is NOT judgmental nor trying to put moms who bottle feed down. Quite the contrary, she always promote whatever fits better to your own family.

    Insulting another mother is one (disgusting) thing. But taking your hate out on her 3 years-old child?
    YOU gross me out.

    What a poor parenting example..

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    Replies
    1. My thought's exactly!

      Delete
    2. *thoughts #justsaying

      Delete
  88. i does seem there is something odd about the comments (a whole lot of (100
    % of them) being supportive of this post and author and then all the others who don't agree with it, dated later. That would be simply not possible, naturally! It seems to me that you simply published posts agreeing with you first, when most of us would read your post and then forget about it, or just get tired of reading all the posts, and later on, decided to publish the disagreeing ones. Well, although I have serious issues against some of AP guidelines, and I thought Time mag was wrong dealing with the issue the way it did, your post is hateful, you are judging a mom and her kid (I bet yours are much well behaved at 4 years old, huh?) you are cyber bullying (but u don't tolerate it on your kids, huh?), and I SIMPLY can't stand a blogger if she isn't fair on comments publishing. DONE.

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    Replies
    1. Actually Gabs aka no-reply email person, I didn't nor have I moderated any comments on this post. The initial comments came after I published my post, and when the Time Magazine cover mother got wind of my article, she posted it to her facebook and linked to my post, which then brought on a million hate mails/comments....so you are wrong.

      I am absolutely fair on comments publishing, NEVER moderate then so......... what now?

      Delete
    2. Raven,

      Since it does appear that you are indeed reading the comments here I am confused....I honestly would have expected some sort of apology. Not for your opinion of course. We are all entitled to our own opinion whether fact based or emotional. Which is actually so so great when it results in a healthy respectful debate. But, I really think that an apology is needed to your readers and to the Mom (and especially the child!) for the hurtful (cyber bullying) way that you chose to use your blog.

      You must have by now realized that you could have chosen different words to convey your opinion? The words you used were so mean and so hateful(not to mention uneducated...) Is that how we treat other people? Is that how we teach our children to treat other people?

      And when our children are mean and hurtful don't we ask them to right the wrong they have done and say sorry?

      Your blog... your choice...

      Delete
  89. My son nursed for four years, and to be honest I think you are making it a bigger deal than it actually is.

    Let me give you some science my friend. We all know about the theory of evolution right? And the fact that it is the cornerstone of biology... you know that right? Ok.

    So, get this "smart mommy." We share 99% similar DNA with Bonobo chimpanzees. That kinda means that we humans are great apes, doesn't it.

    Do you know how long the great apes feed their young? Do you? Because they do breastfeeding and weaning 100% naturally!

    Can you believe it? They don't use any bottles, or dummies, or ANYTHING like that!!

    Wow crazy.

    OK, so get this: The great apes feed their young ON AVERAGE between THREE and FIVE years!!

    Wow.

    You're so smart.

    You're about as educated as a rock!

    Gooooo YOU! Smart mommy. Yay! <3 u!

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    Replies
    1. Unless you believe in creation, then you don't believe in evolution.

      Go you smart mommy!

      Delete

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