He's baaaaaaaaack! Guest Post. By Gunner.

Whatup my tootsies? Miss me?

I missed you. You know what I don't miss? Not having a plethora of junk food in the house. Ever since my mom started on this "get healthy" fix, she has all but banned chocolate cookies and goldfish crackers within a twenty mile radius. I'm sorry, but last time I checked I wasn't the one with an ass the size of Texas. Whose stupid idea was this anyway? Excuuuuuse me for being able to eat a donut without having it go straight to my thighs. Hate the game, not the player lil' momma.

Speaking of huge asses, what are your thoughts on Obama?

Incase you didn't hear, I was in something called a wedding last weekend. Something about one girl and one boy committing themselves to each other for life?! Phooey I say. I go to pre-school, and the ratio is something like eight girls to three boys. Guess who's the stud with four girls pullin' on each side of him? Yeah, one bish for life? Please....

By the way, I was watching Spongebob the other day (I sneaked it, don't tell my mom) and I saw a commercial with a girl named Taylor Swift in it. She is uber hot! Her hair was all sorts of glittery and l found myself daydreaming about her babysitting me. BTW, four year olds have code words for "babysitting." Ssshhh, don't tell my parents.

I want a damn cookie. But noooooo, my mom has to fit into her size 4s. I like my mom much better when she's a size 32. Ok, so I may be exaggerating a bit there, but still, when momma gets a cookie? The Big Gunz gets a cookie. And that's really all I care about.

My daddy on the other hand? All he wants is a tight ass.

Or so he says. I just want some chocolate pudding. Or at least some cheetos. My mom once tried to give me those fake "baked" cheetos. I almost barfed in her face. Not on purpose, of course, but still. I remember one time when daddy brought home some new "mommy juice." He said he was trying to save money and she said she wouldn't touch it with a five foot pole and that it tasted like rubbing alcohol. She told daddy to get her the good stuff "or else." I think I may need to try that with mommy. My "or else" could get pretty creative...

like give me a cookie right now "or else I'll tell daddy when you say you went to the grocery store, you really meant the casino."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Peace out fishwhistles.

(not sure what that means exactly, I just heard daddy say it to mommy and thought it was funny)

ps. you can read my first guest post here.

{Notice the blog name change? You can read about it HERE}