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8.02.2012
Sorry guys for being a lil' late here on my Thursday post. I promise to have my link-up posts done and scheduled for the AM from now on!

All In My Twenties

"I'm starting my diet tomorrow."

Probably one of the most common words that come out of my mouth. Tomorrow. Starting tomorrow because today? Today I'm having me some Taco Bell. And maybe pizza later. And of course, I will finish my children's leftover chicken nuggets because I can't let go to waste. No, those chicken nuggets are much better suited on my thighs than in the garbage can.

I've always had a "thing" with my weight. I was never overweight as a child/teenager, in fact I distinctly remember counting out exactly 60 cheerios, 5 chocolate chips and 10 raisins, putting it in a ziplock bag and that was my lunch I took to school. I also remember having my parents drop me off at the gym (I was too young to drive) and have them pick me up an hour and a half later, because I had to work off those 60 cheerios. That obsessive stage was fleeting, and I never had a full blown eating disorder (I ate normal dinners and such, as a handful of cheerios isn't that filling) but I was always conscious about wanting to be/stay thin.

side note: I know this link-up is about being and getting healthy, and while that is very important to me, I have to be honest and tell you guys that that isn't my main motivation here. I want to be SKINNY. And I'm not afraid to say it. Size 0? Never gonna happen. Size 2? Nope, not me. Where I am the most comfortable is being able to walk into any high-end boutique and pick up a size 6 pair of jeans and know they will fit like a glove. Size 4 maybe, on a good day. But that's just me. That said, I also don't want to be what they call skinnyfat, which is why I believe in order to achieve my goal, I need to put some hard work and sweat into working out and building muscle. And that's just my honest truth. end side note.

Fast forward some odd years and two babies later and I'm still just as conscious about wanting to be thin. However, I've fallen off the wagon lately, or better, the treadmill. When I got married, I was the thinnest I'd been in a while, but come on, who doesn't diet a little extra for their wedding.

Photobucket
Please excuse the godawfulness that is my hair. The ringlets....shudder

While being married and before kids, I stayed pretty consistant with working out and eating good. Then I got pregnant in the summer of 2007 and believe it or not, I stayed pretty dedicated to working out. I was on the treadmill at least five days a week and lunges was my middle name.


Sorry for the semi-pornographic photos, but they are the only ones I could find on my computer. Also, sorry for the side boob. I mean you're welcome.

About eight months after little babe popped out, I was in the best shape of my life. I was working out regularly. I was also a vegetarian for a short span. Which I plan on hopefully going back to. But that is another post for next week.

photo on the left is after baby #2, photo on right after baby #1


10 months post baby

again, I apologize for the mirror shot. I pulled these straight from my myspace page. Remember myspace?

Then I got knocked up again two years later, and still kept with it. Treadmill every morning while watching Kathie Lee and Hoda. Man I miss those bitches...

6 weeks pregnant here. Second baby so they say you show faster? I'm just gonna go with that.

four months preg

And then? Well then is kinda when I let the ball drop. I stopped working out, starting gaining. The pictures below were taken on a trip to the Dominican Republic over a year ago. I know I don't look horrible, but I had definitely gained a good 20 pounds and besides when I was pregnant, it was the heaviest I had ever been in my life.


And as the story goes, I still have yet to brush the dust off my treadmill. And I really have no excuse either, seeing as how I have everything I need set up in my own home. I have to walk past the treadmill and weight machine every morning when I wake up...around 9 am. 9 am?! Who sleeps til 9 am?? Unless you are a an infant or a teenager on summer break, I suspect most people get up earlier and start getting shit done.

I need to start getting shit done.

I know I said I would post before pics here, but as you can see with the lateness of this post, I didn't get around to it. So I'm showing you a real picture of me from this past weekend. When I was going through all the pictures that I took, I cropped a lot of them to right under my boobs, so you wouldn't see the tummy rolls. I "edited" them a little to make me appear in a better light. I only showed you guys the ones I wanted you to see.

The one below is one I did not want ya'll to see...

Ready?


Ok so maybe that one is a little exaggerated. I'm just hoping after you see that, I won't look *so* bad in the real one...


and there she is folks. All bleeeeep pounds of her. And this one isn't even the fairest of them all, as my arm is strategically placed over the midsection.

I know I'm not obese and like Kristen said, I'm not fishing for "you aren't fat, you don't need to lose weight" comments because it's really all about how WE feel INSIDE, don't you think?

Next week I will be going into more detail of how I plan to lose the weight (gone are the nightly cocktails...waaahhhh) and hopefully I can report that I got my ass up around the 7 o'clock hour to put some miles on my trusty ol' friend the treadmill.

I also will be posting before and afters in a bathing suite and I might say out loud just exactly what that darn scale says about me.

I'm excited to go on this venture with you all and I hope you help keep me accountable! Now go link up on Kristen's page so I can do the same with you!

ps. Please don't think I put all those thinner pictures of me on here to be vain. I promise I didn't. This is going to be my motivation post for me to look at and get inspired!


63 comments:

  1. Totally understand how you feel. I don't necessarily need to lose weight, but I most definitely can feel it. This has been my attitude all week, too! I know you will meet your goals! Just remember how you feel now verses how you felt when you were your fittest! Good luck! Cannot wait to see your updates.

    http://christawaldrop.blogspot.com/

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  2. Everyone has their own "best". I am working on getting back to mine. As hard as it is not to compare myself to others, I just keep in mind that everyone's body is different. I have a wider frame, which means I will never look like someone with a narrow frame, etc. I have faith in you, girl!

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  3. I think this is an awesome link up! I'm also on the road to change up my workouts and eating habits. I'm in a wedding in Sept, so its crunch time to fit just right in that MOH dress ;)

    good luck, raven!! you can do it! :)

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  4. i love this link up!!! It is great we can all inspire each other to get healthy and feel better. I stay at home also and definitely slept in until 10 today (oops) I'm hoping this link up will help keep me motivated and get my lazy ass up!

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  5. yay! i'm excited for this link up- although i wont be participating until next week (:

    right now, i'm probably the thinnest i've ever been (and um, hello, my name is ashley and i gained a good 70-80 pounds in college.. err, the first year of college) so i definitely "feel good" about that, but i don't feel too hot about my health. because this isnt the healthiest i have been.

    and it doesnt matter how "skinny" i look on the outside, if i'm not feeling healthy on the inside life might as well be over.. ok, maybe i'm not THAT dramatic, but still.. if i dont feel healthy, i aint healthy...

    and girl, can i have your waist? before baby, after baby, during pregnancy, NOW.. shit. (i know you werent fishing for compliments, but i cant help but compliment women especially when we are talking about appearances.. so don't bite this bait, my dear...)

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  6. You're gorgeous! Before, during, and after babies! Good luck with your journey, stay motivated and dedicated and you'll succeed for sure! :)

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  7. This is such a great link up...I've already had great feedback from some new peeps and have really enjoyed reading everyone's journey.

    It doesn't matter how fat or skinny someone else *thinks* you are, it's about how you feel about yourself and then reaching the point where you're ready to do something about it. We are all involved in our own struggle.

    PS. We love the side boob hour in this house, so thanks for that ;)

    Good luck, chica...glad to share the journey.

    xo-Katie

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  8. You go girl! and what freaking photo editor are you using, i need something to edit and put in a better light..lol.

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  9. This is a great link-up! I love the idea of getting healthy, whatever that means to you! I'm joining in next week with my plan to gain some lbs. Nothing sexy about a skeleton with no boobs or butt! Good luck reaching your goals! This is going to be one hot ass blogosphere thanks to this link-up.

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  10. OMG I would never stop posting those skinny pics ever! Thats not VAIN thats fuckin HOT! Inspiration for you and me both HOMEGIRLS!

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  11. i have the secret to getting skinny FAST.

    run/bike all the way to Boston without stopping. Thats a lot of miles so a lot of calories to burn. You can find farms along the way and eat their fruit and veggies!!

    really though raven...after 2 kids, ive seen some women let themselves go. They dont care. This and that. But you really do have a ROCKING BODY after 2 kids. NO JOKE

    you deff have eh motivation tho to get to the goal you want to be!!! I am excited to follow along!!

    A little tip. My gym has tvs on the treadmills and sometimes i plan it to go while a trashy show is on (kardashians or housewives) adn honestly watching tv/laughing while working out makes it go by so fast u dont even know what your doing!

    ALSO...ZUMBA! seriously try it and find a class u will LOVE it!

    love you ravey you can do this I KNOW IT! youz a sexy MAMA

    xoxoxo

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  12. Great post as always! You're definitely one of my favorite bloggers and I love all of your honesty! Good luck on this weight loss journey, I know I need a little extra motivation, so hopefully this link-up will keep me accountable and on my toes. My goal is really just be more toned and over-all healthy. I have a goal weight that is about 10 lbs lighter than I am now, so I think I can do it! GOOD LUCK, let the games begin :)

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  13. your poor wedding hair, BUT your dress was gorgeous! and I think we were a bad influence for each other so maybe it's good I moved away for this =) ok..start thinking of blog titles for me!!

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  14. You got this raven!!! I know you can do it!!! Get your ass skinny girl (cause you want to not cause I think you new to)!!!

    Mock tails?!?

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  15. Ugh, you are so vain. Where's anon when you need her? ;) and I would die if you posted what the scale days, only because you will BARELY tell me! Now send me the dang picture I asked for! And I can't believe how skinny you were after Gunz. I am aiming for that 8 months after baby #3 because I won't have time to eat running after 3 babies!! Now you HAVE to be accountable and you need to post your losses weekly to keep you going! Nice sis

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  16. Sooo excited to do this link up with you guys. I can't wait to hear your plan to lose the weight! And so sad to hear about the night cocktails. I'm thinking the same thing. RIP bevvies :( You'll be missed.

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  17. Ummmmm treadmill? I want to hear more about the diet too. Because I want to look that good post-baby. And obvi you can get back to that since you're one of the most badass women I know :)

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  18. Holy shit, I hope if and when I ever get pregnant I look like you! Pretty sure post baby #1 and baby #2 you were in better shape than I am now. (22 years old, no kids) ay yi yi, thanks for the inspiration!

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  19. Did the stretch mark fairy pass you up?? Your stomach looks great after having both kiddos!

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  20. bahahah I was like wow her legs are two different sizes! I'm gonna dig up my skinny pics for next week. I've been getting up early to work out and I get so much else done. It's pretty awesome. I still hate running but overall I feel stronger and alot better!!

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  21. I SO AGREE!!!!!! ... Its about how we feel! <3 I look more like your "before photo" LMAO ....

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  22. You GO Girl!!! I feel you on getting up early - I am up at 530 every morning to take the little one to school & try to work out!! I need to get back too it!! I have so many clothes that i gained some weight can no longer fit into ... && you are right, it is ALL about how we feel, if we don't feel good to walk in to buy those jeans than we shall do something about it & u gotta wanna do something about it for it too work!! :)

    Happy Thursday!
    Thank you for the motivation

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  23. This link up is great!!! Now if I wasn't pregnant with baby #2 right now and didn't feel like heaving half the day or sleeping I would join you in this! You can do this...I know, I know you don't need or want to hear it but girl you look great but I hear ya about how you feel on the inside and you have to be able to feel good about yourself! Sorry to hear about giving up the nightly beverages, kinda sad but you'll be just fine :( !!!

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  24. you already know I think you look fabulous & have a rocking body but I totally understand how you feel. its not about what the scale says or how you look its how you feel. you can do this. you'll get back to the weight you wanna be, you just gotta have that skinny mindset...but again youre fabulous & i loved the side boob. xoxo Kelly

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  25. looove the skinny pics as inspiration pics!! who WOULDNT post pics of themselves at their best to be inspiration?

    really excited about this link-up! yaay getting healthy! but mannn gonna miss taco bell! lmao!

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  26. I honestly lost 10 pounds easily by not drinking a bottle and a half (or more) of red wine with my husband at night. Who would have thought?? Now how do I lose the extra nasty 15 or 20 pounds that are hanging around? I will wait for your plan next week before I decide on my plan.

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  27. I said on someone elses page.. it doesn't matter how much weight you have to lose.. it's all the same struggle, we are here to support eachother whether its to lose 5 or 200 lbs.. its all the same. you'll be back to your ideal body in no time.. you're determined

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  28. I totally get the "wanting to be healthy and happy" thing. Before I lost weight, I was technically in the "healthy" range, but I wasn't happy where I was so I made myself lose weight.

    I'm not saying this to be nice or kiss ass, I'm saying it cause I actually thought that you were a size 4 and would read your posts and think, "Damn! I wish I was that skinny!" Hahah

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  29. Good luck lady!! Can't wait to cheer you on so you can be happy in your skin again!! whopp hoop!

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  30. Good luck girl! I started working out again in January and I feel so much better now even though I'm not at my "ideal" weight. Getting rid of a few extra pounds is always great inspiration for me personally :-)

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  31. 1. your a hot bitch. just saying'
    2. i freaking love this link up!! thank you so much for co-hosting it!!! i love how positive it is!!!!
    3. you got this!!! i know you're gonna get back on the horse....errr, treadmill..

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  32. I totally understand how you feel! It is about how you feel about yourself, not about how others see you!
    Good luck with your weight loss goals, I'm rooting for ya!

    P.s. I do the arm in front of tummy too, lol glad I'm not the only one! haha

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  33. Love this! I just started being a little more health conscious last week. Baby steps. And I can't even focus on your size in those pics. I'm just majorly jealous of your non stretchmarked stomach! I have them from my boobs to my ankles from just one baby! She's lucky I like her.

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  34. GIRRLLLLL… couldn't be more with you & I LOVE your honesty & real-ness! You are one sexy Mama though…just know that for sure! But…I know EXACTLY what you mean about YOUR OWN best! Not what other people think you should look like. I am starting tomorrow too! I really am. I work from home, wake up at 9, AND walk past my ENTIRE home gym…EVERY SINGLE DAY! My shit has cobwebs on it & THAT my friend…is some bullshit! =) LOL! See…someone (hand raised so high)…ALWAYS has it worse than you! =) I SO wish I were brave enough to post before & afters, cause I'll tell you one thing…my shit's gonna be EPIC! LMAO! =) Let's DO THIS! We're all in this together & we're ALL rootin' for you! NOTHING but love for you, Honey! WORK IT OUT! =) XO

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  35. We got this girl! We will never be good enough for ourselves but we can still try. You look hott in that black dress after baby #1 and I love that pciture of you laying on the deck your hair is so cute.

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  36. You can do it girl! I have started to really clean up my diet and work out hard and I lost 6lbs in 30 days and it made a world of difference!

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  37. You have done it before...

    and.


    wait for it..

    you will conquer again!!! Seriously. You GOT this!!

    Cathy Trails

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  38. Thank god I'm not the only person who says "I want to be skinny damn it!!!" If you can be skinny after a baby, you can do it again!

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  39. I gained 15 pounds this year for no apparent reason (I blame it on turning 30 soon). This may just be the kick in the pants that I needed to get back to normal. Thank you!

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  40. You know I still think your a hot bish! #truth Here's to us getting rockin bods and feeling gooood!

    I am totally envious of the 9sm psrt! What is skinnyfat?? I'm so out of the loop!

    Looking forward to getting off my bum and working it out! XOXOXO

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  41. First of all, I am SO excited you posted a wedding pic! I've ALWAYS been curious! Second, I hear what you are saying. I'm getting married in a month and although I lost 20 lbs already I still don't feel like I'm "there" yet. No matter what anyone says. Plus, I don't want to be overweight already and THEN get pregnant (whenever that happens) because I'm pretty sure I'll cry in a corner for 9 months! Good luck girl!

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  42. So glad you know you're still hot. :) But totally understand where you're coming from. I loooooove getting runner's legs from workouts and if I skip a week of workout, hello blubber!

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  43. Ah! I have always wanted to see a wedding picture of you! So pretty!

    Now lets get this shizzz done! I know you will get where you wanna be! I have faith in you! If I was able to go from 280 to 157 you can loose the few lbs you are looking to loose! If ya need any kinda help lemme know!

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  44. I enjoyed reading your post :) I think you look great now and looked great back then. I can assure you that when I have kids, I will not look nearly half as good as you did ... with that said, I know how you feel about loosing weight for YOU. I wish I could lose the last 10-12 pounds that I know I can lose if I really tried ... ha. Thanks for starting the link up. I will definitely try to join along with you and Kristen. I may not post about it though, but am def going to start working out more/eating better ... thanks for the inspiration :) By the way, i think you look gorg in all the pictures.
    have a good day!
    xo
    Ashley

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  45. Girl, I'm with you. I just wanna lose like MAJOR pounds like PRONTO and be skinny and then worry about being healthy. You are gorgeous. : )

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  46. Helloooooooo hottie! You've got this! You so got this!!

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  47. I really needed to read this today! I got married in 2007 as well, and that was the healthiest point in my life. I started cooking big manly meals for my firefighter husband, and the pounds started sneaking up on me. When I went into the hospital last year, to give birth to my first child, I saw a 2 as the first digit. A TWO!! I never ever thought I would see that. Sure I lost 20 lbs before I even went home, but I still have a long way to go. I've lost another 25 lbs since then, but I still have 30 to go. My motivation started falling away, but you got me going again!

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  48. I think you are SO beautiful, from the first pic to the last! :)

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  49. Sometimes I sleep until 9am OR LATER and I have my child trained to sleep until them...I feel SO lazy! And I AM ALWAYS eating the last of the nuggets...AND taking larger than necessary bites of every single kids meal to MAKE SURE IT'S NOT TOO HOT. Full of excuses!! I'm going to start forcing myself to be up 7am everyday...AND from now on nuggets go in the trash! AND NO LATE NIGHT COCKTAILS...BEER ETC... Starting tomorrow on the cocktail thing :) Good luck and can't wait to see everyone's progress!!

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  50. raven,

    you look great NOW.

    totally understand wanting to feel skinny though.

    please though you're a milf!

    i'm excited for this link up!! we're gonna motivate eachother!

    my fitness pal is great too :)

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  51. Damn girl, you are hot. I know the "I want to be skinny" feeling. Fit, sure as long as my ass looks skinny. Just take pride in knowing that you are a mom, your body did crazy ass things when pregnant and during childbirth, and that alone deserves some nightly cocktails. You are striking at your thinnest, but most beautiful when hanging in the yard with your boys.

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  52. Thank you for this. No really. I've gained 25 pounds over the past two years and I know it's not about the size, but I used to be that girl in a size 0 jeans. Now I'm about a size 7. I'd love to be back in a size 2 and even more then that, is eat healthy and feel better about myself. I'm so excited to be a part of this and seriously kick myself in the butt and lose that weight. You can do it too!!!!

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  53. I ALWAYS tell everyone that it's about how I feel inside! I had a half of my old fave- a buffalo chicken sandwich yesterday, and guess what? It wasn't as "appetizing" as I remember! I've gained a few lately, which is no biggie, but I don't feel "clean". It's not that I want to stress about every little thing, but I want to stay healthy for my hubby and future children IF we have kids. Plus I want to look as good as you after having said kids ;) Love you!!

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  54. So I know this post is about weight... but I have to know, is HOW THE heck you got NO STRETCH MARKS! I have heard they are pretty much herdiatary, there is some you can do to help prevent them, but if your going to get hem your going to get them.

    what did you do?!

    My mom is covered with them, and I would love to show off my bod after having a baby!

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  55. I think you are so so beautiful! I totally understand what you mean though about always having that nagging feeling about being thin. I too, have never had a full blown eating disorder but I was dangerously close, as I wanted to stay 90lbs and would work out as much as I could to stay at that weight. (I'm only 5 feet tall, 90lbs isn't too crazy)

    I say, as long as you eat healthy and you exercise without being obsessive about it, and you're only doing it to be skinny rather than healthy then that's fine....its your body and as long as you are treating it right then who cares if it's because you want to be skinny or just because you want to be healthy.

    Good luck on your weightloss journey :) New follower here and I'd love for you to come follow me back :)

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  56. I personally prefer thicker girls (which I don't feel you even qualify as). But I totally support you wanting to feel better about yourself. I think you can do it, easy peasy.

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  57. Good luck! You've done it once so you'll do it again! :)

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  58. One of the best characteristics to make you look fabulous is confidence. It's the way you project yourself no matter what you're wearing or how much you weigh. I definitely think some kick-ass time working out will give you positive energy, sweat out the toxins in your body and mind and know that you can conquer anything. All the best!

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  59. you are absolutely adorable, girl! i just wish i was this fit, and i haven't even had any children. good luck with this venture, girl! i know you will get back into fabulous shape! :)
    xo TJ

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  60. Ummm your pregnancy and post pregnancy pictures are still hot, despite what you might think! However - I KNOW that the way you feel about yourself is far more important than what others think. We don't see ourselves the way others see us (or do we? who knows?) Good luck with your endeavor...I know you will look smokin hot :)

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  61. You, of course, are a beautiful person, Raven, but you're right, it's how we feel inside. I don't look like a whale either, but like you, I know where I've been and what I'm capable of and what makes me feel good. You have some fabulous motivation photos to keep you going! HOT DAMN!

    I'm jumping on this get-fit train with ya! YOU CAN DO IT! And so can I. I just have to put the cookies down first.....OK, now I can do this! :)

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