A Children's Story

There are a lot of really great children's books out there. This one comes to mind, as does this. Long gone are the days of Love You Forever, now it's all about cussing at your children to go to bed already!

We already know how I feel about babies and beer. But do you know how I feel about a certain blogger named Taylor? Guys. Sometimes you come across a person who you find and are all, "omg, you=me. Me=you." 

That's how I feel right now. 

If you've been around these parts for more than a hot second, you know I like me some sarcasm. Humor. Funny stuff. And Taylor? Is funny stuff. 

That little gem above? That's Taylor. The best little five year old blogger you ever did see.

She also wrote a book. A children's book. 

She has no kids. 

Which makes this children's book? The best shit ever.

A bottle for you, a bottle for me. Who wrote my autobiography without my permission? I want the royalties...

But in all reality. This book? Right up my ally. 

GUYS. The line that got me?

"We find tutus and headbands and big giant bows. Is there a boys section or is this just a place for baby hos?"

Baby hos.

Baby. Hos.

Be still my heart.

"Another mommy stops by and says what a cute little thing. Mine's in the 88th percentile, if you know what I mean. Oh really, that's great, but I don't give a shit. About your dumb baby and the category he fits."

"The mommys look over and casually ask, so is your baby enrolled in a preschool class? Five years in advance? No. I can't say he is. But no need to worry, I'm sure it's a top priority of his."

I die.

This book. Rivals this book. 

Sometimes amazingness happens. 

It happened. 

You can see Taylor here and learn more about her book here.

Baby hos. 

Like, seriously?