A Post On Pregnancy. (No I'm Not)

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Monday, November 26, 2012
Last week on my formspring, someone asked if I would do a post on pregnancy. Since I promised I would, I'm here to deliver. Of course, I'm no expert on pregnancy. I'll leave that mess up to a certain Mrs. Duggar, however, I do have a few nuggets of wisdom of my own.

So here we go.

Pre-pregnancy. I hate to say I was a lucky one, but I got pregnant both times within a month of trying. I don't have many secrets here, besides doing the deed almost every day. I know some experts say to do it every other day when you are trying to conceive but to me, every day made more sense. And no, my husband had no qualms about it.

On being a pregnant first timer. I was straight OCD. I lived by every single rule in What To Expect When You Are Expecting. I never once ate lunch meat, sushi or any kind of moldy cheese. Not even a bite. I measured my folic acid to make sure I was getting more than enough. I ate my weight in asparagus and the one time I laid out in the sun for a little too long, I stressed and stressed about it worrying like a crazy woman that that one extra hour of sunbathing was going to somehow damage my baby. I googled the shit out of everything and if I didn't feel my baby kick for longer than two minutes I automatically assumed the worst.

On traveling while pregnant. I've done it. Seven months pregnant. It wasn't so bad. The only bad part was not being able to drink those amazing tropical umbrella concoctions. It was great not having to suck in for photo ops, but a little less great being crammed in an airplane for six hours. That I could definitely do without.

Working out while pregnant. With my first, I worked out like a fiend. Never going more than two days in a week without. I was religious about it. The treadmill and Jeopardy at 6 pm was my best friend. I would do at least thirty minutes on the treadmill five days a week and weights three days a week. All the way up until I was nine months preg. As for my second pregnancy? Yes, I worked out just the same, but laid off it a little bit sooner, approx. around the eight month mark.

Weight gain. I was very, very conscious about weight gain whilst with child. With my first pregnancy, I gained 24 pounds. Second, 29. I did not take this opportunity to eat whatever I pleased. Because I knew that whatever I gained, I would have to lose.

How I carried baby. I carried both my boys the same, that is, they were both completely straight up and down. Feet up, head down. You know how some people say they had a "basketball" out front? That was so not me. I never got very big out front. I remember one time, when I was almost eight months pregnant, a checker at the grocery store said, "I hope I don't offend you, but are you pregnant?" I laughed and said, "yes, almost eight months." She said, "ok, you just aren't big enough that I could easily ask without being sure." I took that as a major compliment.

What I ate. With my first baby, like I said above, I towed the line. Followed all the rules. What to and what not to eat. I didn't stray. Hell, I was afraid to eat the cookie dough for fear of salmonella. My second pregnancy? I had an occasional turkey sandwich from Subway. I ate cookie dough by the spoonful. I even had a *gulp* small glass of red wine. I was extremely more relaxed with my second.

Stretch marks. Again, I hate to say I was one of the lucky ones, but I didn't get a single stretch mark with either pregnancy. However, neither did my mom, which I guess is a testament to the fact that it's hereditary. Regardless, I wasn't going to leave it up to fate. I plastered my belly and thighs with Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Day and night. I know people will say it makes no difference, but for me, I constantly used this analogy: take a rubber band. When it gets all dried out and you stretch it back and forth, it cracks in a million different places. If you take that same rubber band and moisturize it, slick it up with oil, etc., when you stretch it out and back in, it will keep its original shape. Hence my undying devotion to slathering myself with cocoa butter. I kid you not, I went through a bottle a week. I wasn't taking any chances. (This is not to say that stretch marks can be totally prevented. Sometimes, it's just genetics, whether you like it or not.)

Pregnancy symptoms. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I lucked out in this department. I don't think I ever, not once, threw up from pregnancy related symptoms. With my first boy, I didn't feel nauseous the entire pregnancy. With my second, I remember faintly feeling sick in the beginning, but am pretty sure I never did the deed in le ol' toilette.

Tattoos and pregnancy. As you can see in the above pics, I had my Raven tattoo before getting pregnant. It stretched out a bit but has since went back to original form. Had I had stretch marks, etc., I probably would have had to get some sort of tattoo reconstruction done. Thank goodness all is well.

Pregnant photo shoots. Seriously? All I have to say about the above pic is how embarrassed I am. The whole sentimental hand-on-the-belly pose is just not for me. Case in point: I'm laughing in the above pic. You can't really tell, but so is Rob. This mushy gushy stuff just isn't for us. Can you say awkward?

Sex while pregnant. Earmuffs mom and dad! We did it. Being pregnant never really hindered anything in that regard. All the docs will tell you it's perfectly fine to do the nasty whenever you want (unless of course you have some kind of high risk pregnancy). Did it feel any different? The same? Eh. It's all the same, right?

Delivery. I hate, once again, to say it, but I got the four leaf clover when it came to labor. With my first, labor lasted a total of 34 minutes, first push to last. Second? I did a total of 2.5 pushes. That was it. My husband has been known to utter the words, "I don't know what the big deal is about labor. It's seems like a piece of cake in my opinion." Trust me, I have been quick to inform him that my experience is not the norm, and in fact, is quite the opposite. However since he has only witnessed two births, mine, he stands by the notion that pushing out a baby is a piece of cake. Anyone want to show him a real birth video?

Did you get an epidural? Are you missing any brain cells? What kind of question is this? Of course I did! At the first sign of pain. Isn't that what they are there for?

Did you write a birth story? Yes. You can read it here.

And for now, I shall end here. Because I don't even want to get started on the whole breastfeeding debate. If you have any other questions for me that I didn't answer here, please feel free to ask them in the comments, and I will answer as soon as possible.

babies babies babies

31 comments on "A Post On Pregnancy. (No I'm Not)"
  1. wow. i know nothing about pregnancy (thank god) but this sounds pretty perfect. it could almost convince me that i could have a baby someday but i know when i come back later i will see 50 "my pregnancy was the total opposite! [insert horror story here]" comments that will quickly bring me back to my fear of child rearing ways. and im pissy cause i have stretch marks.. and no babies to show for it so.. i will join the clan of girls who hate on you for this post! (that was meant with as much as love as possible btw!)

  2. Once again, totally a post I will use for future reference. I'm right there with you on the pregnancy photo shoots, too! I feel like it would be so awkward!! I bet anyone who had like 8 hours of labor hates your guts right now. Ha!

  3. Sounds sounds like you should have had more kids. It's just another day for you! I would like to hear your view on breast feeding though. That will surely make a good blog post.

  4. Thanks for sharing your story of pregnancies. I hope my delivery is as easy!! I am also not feeling any symptoms either! YAY~! I hope it continues. I am just really tired which I hope will go away. You looked absolutely great in your pregnancy pictures. I only hope to look half as good when I start getting bigger. I know I need to workout a bit more!

  5. wow. sounds like you had it pretty easy in this department. i bet a lot of it had to do with how well you took care of your body though while pregnant, so you kinda earned it. you are SO lucky you didn't get sick during your pregnancies! holy moly, that would be awesome!

  6. Are you kidding me with that in the hospital pic? You look like a GD bombshell. So unfair lady, making the rest of us look bad! And by the rest of us, I mean pregnant ladies. Not me. HAHA :)

  7. I'm the idiot who took away one thing from this.... my tattoo won't get ruined if I use cocoa butter.
    You really are a freak of nature though.

  8. I totally agree with the stretch marks. I didn't get any and I think that's because I was extremely careful with not gaining too much weight and using tons of cocoa butter :)

  9. I was a lucky one too..... took one try for each pregnancy, no stretch marks, no sickness with either pregnancy, only gained 30 with my first and at 7 months right now I am at 15 gained, followed the book (not as much as you) with the first and am much more lax with the second, had c section with 1st (baby was breech) and will with 2nd (just because) so can't compare labor stories....all around both pregnancies were not bad at all but I am also glad this is my last one!!!

  10. I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you got through TWO pregnancies without your head in the toilet. That right there is all the "lucky" I need to dislike you. Hahahaha. Just kidding. ;) But seriously. With both of mine, I was sick, sick, sick. And they say girls are the ones...yeah, no. Not in my case. Also? At 5.5 months pregnant, I look bigger than you did at 7 months, I think. I did get lucky with no stretch marks with my first (and so far the 2nd), and I had a c-section, which, to me, is "lucky" because I never had the pain/experience of labor and contractions. But to each their own there. Glad you had such great experiences - seriously!

  11. this makes me so jealous I could scream lol though I will say, I didn't get sick with my daughter either. but sheesh, you were made to make babies...are you this lucky with everything? you should play the lottery.

  12. your side boob pics make me uncomfortable... ;) ;)

    1. You are lucky she had a good pregnancy or the rest would have also, Booby. And good thing she didn't use any "proper body part words" in this post. ;) I CAN'T WAIT to hear your birth story!

  13. Lucky duck!!! I too have had a "flawless" pregnancy! No puking, no stretch marks, not much of a weight gain so when I give birth next month I'm hoping to have a wonderful delivery :)

  14. I love this! I am so glad you did this post & shared with us! I'm excited to hear that you worked out through your whole pregnancy's!! maybe it make them both a 'piece of cake'. Really enjoyed this whole post! <3, Amy

  15. I am incredibly jealous that you have no stretch marks, didn't get sick, actually got to push your babes out, and just got to be normal while pregnant! I was so not that lucky! Every time I brushed my teeth, I got sick. My thighs and hips are a disaster. I had to have an emergency c-section b/c my babe has a ginormous head. I'm incredibly jealous to say the least haha I was a hot freaking mess my entire pregnancy. I wouldn't change the way things turned out, but a little Raven luck for the next one would be nice ;)

  16. Babies, babies, babies! <3

  17. Our stories are similar but mine both arrived 5 weeks early and no epidural for me! I kinda liked feeling the pain. I'm not sure why. I may have a mental illness BUT both my babies were in the 5 pound range which makes birthing them easy. And we're already talking about a #3 and my boy is just now 3 weeks old. I'm messed up. Shut up.

  18. Ha, we had similar pregnancies! No sickness, no stretch marks and easy labors:) Lucky ducks.

  19. love this post. I didn't have stretch marks or a lot of sickness....but labor was not easy lol!!

  20. You lucky bitch.
    1. I can't deliver via the vajay. I'll have to do a C section since my hips are too damn small.
    2. Stretch marks will be the death of me with or without lotion.
    3. I'm nauseous every day as it is so I can guarantee when a baby is baking, I'll be praying to the porcelain Gods.
    4. You're one sexy lady preggers! KUDDOS.

    Again, I say, lucky bitch.


  21. When I'm pregnant if I look half as pretty & tiny as you ill be a happy camper! When do you leave for Hawaii?? Soon I know!

  22. hahahha I LOVE your birth story - and feel like mine will be very similar. all the way from demanding your husband to NOT look "down there" to requesting the doctor hand you a nicely washed baby! too funny! :)

  23. Raven, your blog has been kicking ass as of late! (Not that it doesn't always!) Lots of informative and insightful, but still hysterical, posts! I am loving it!

  24. I swear, it's like you were just meant to be a mom. IF we have kids, I hope I have it half as easy as you!

  25. You are pretty much my favorite person ever. Just saying.

  26. I loved this post so much that I included it my biweekly series, Lots of Link Love! I hope you'll come take a look, find some other fabulous posts from fabulous bloggers, and share with your readers!



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