11.20.2012

Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them

Ok. Enough with the serious posts. I'm starting to think you guys might actually think I have a heart and that just can't happen. (Although I did appreciate your kind words very, very much.)

Idiosyncrasies: 1. A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group. 
2. A physiological or temperamental peculiarity. 

People are weird. Even the seemingly sane ones probably have undercover fetishes. Things you may never know just by looking at a person. Idiosyncrasies. I'm here to share with you mine.

- I always think someone is out to get me. More specifically, I think escaped criminals are going to somehow make their way to my house out in the boons and kill me. A few years ago, a mentally insane person (who murdered an old lady) from Spokane escaped at the county fair. Don't even get me started on why he was allowed such a field trip in the first place, but still. My anxieties went through the roof. Spokane isn't that far from where I live, and I honest to God believed the escapee was going to break into my house at night and ravage on me. And whenever I hear of another criminal gone missing, I always assume they are headed straight for me.

-  I daydream. A lot. Which may not be an idiosyncrasy in itself but I sometimes think my imaginary friends are real.

- I laugh in really awkward situations. I just can't help it. This one time, at private Christian school, we were taking turns reading a book out loud when I read the following, "it was a warm morning on the farm with a lot of cocks running around" (it was an older book about a boy on a farm) and my friend kicked me under the table. I completely lost it and couldn't finish my portion of the book. My private Christian school teacher wasn't too impressed which in turn made me laugh even harder. I kid you not, she told me to excuse myself into the hallway until I could calm down. Oh private Christian school how I miss you.

- I fear if I don't finish the whole bag, the remaining peanut M&Ms will grow legs and run away in the middle of the night.

- I like to take pictures of people on the pot. If I go into a public restroom and someone is peeing in the stall next to me, I have this overwhelming urge to stand on the toilet and take their picture. So far, I have only taken pictures of people I personally know, and this desire hasn't manifested itself into me taking photos of complete strangers. Yet. I should also clarify that everyone I have taken a photo of knew about it (after the fact, HA!) and now I have a nice little stack of embarrassing blackmail.

Unfortunately, this idiosyncrasy doesn't just apply to me. I think I inherited it.


Thanks mom.

ps. In case you couldn't tell, over the stall pot "surprise" pictures are not especially flattering.

30 comments:

  1. hahahahaha love that you posted that picture! and no that doesn't mean you can post the pictures you have of me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. too funny! I love the stall picture. Last week I wrote a whole list of weird thing I do and like... planning on posting it soon. What I love about reading those kinds of posts is you can see things and say "YOU TOO?!" haha Like, I have to eat my M&Ms in pairs... it just bothers my mouth if I don't...ha

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha I've been known to snap a few pictures of my friends while they're mid pee. It typically happens when we're drinking (and go to the bathroom in pairs). Either way, it always makes for a good laugh the next morning!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG that picture is hilarious!!

    My weird idiosyncrasy? I have to chew "evenly". If I'm chewing M&Ms, I will chew 2 on the right side, 2 on the left side. If there is an uneven amount in my mouth, I will split one so that it's even. For food that can't be split, I'll chew on one side for one bite and then switch to the next side for the next bite.

    Probably more than you ever wanted to know about me but oh well...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Seriously though, laughing is THE ONLY way to get through awkward moments. I was once in a yoga class and this old woman next to me made some type of loud bodily function noise while her bum was straight in the air... Needless to say, I lost it. Uncontrollable laughter to the point where I had to leave the class.
    And then I cancelled my membership to that gym forever.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG we had the meanest English teacher eva in 9th grade... even though I didn't go to a private school you did not dare misbehave in her class. One day I was reading a page out of Great Expectations for the class and instead of saying Pip I said "piss" and I could NOT quit laughing, and neither could the class! Needless to say I got detention for a week. Whatevs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so with you on thinking that everyone is out to get to me ... I am terrified to be home alone or walk out to the garage in the dark. So my husband installed motion sensor lights outside for me.

    I actually have the same idiosyncrasy as Nessa said above.

    I get the giggles so easily. We were in a meeting at work and someone said something about "skid markings" (meaning marking pallets of product) ... and I just busted out in giggles. Because I'm apparently 12 years old. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! I knew I couldn't be the only one =)

      Delete
  8. oh man girl... i LOVE THIS!

    and i, too, have this crazy irrational fear people are out to get me. pair that with a sincere fear of the dark and BAM! i am my husbands worst, helpless nightmare.. i mean, im not helpless helpless- i can throw a punch, i can handle myself, i can scream bloody murder. but i freeze in situations. and if someone were out to get me, i'd probably be too frozen to move..


    oh.. bathroom pictures remind me of myspace... do you remember those girls who would PURPOSELY take bathroom pics and post them?! aye yi yi..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahahaha I have so many of these things too but taking pictures of people peeing and pooping next to me definitely is not one of them. This makes me never want to be your friend but on the other hand makes me want to THAT much more

    ReplyDelete
  10. ahhhahaha. that picture is awesome. And I am certainly VERY weird. I always think someone is out to get me too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I smile/laugh at the most inappropriate of times, too! I've gotten better, but oh my gosh, it's mortifying.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am totally with you on thinking people are after me and I am going to get taken. I too, live in the middle of NOWHERE!

    ReplyDelete
  13. So weird because I always think someone is out to get a picture of me on the toliet.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is hilarious! I am so paranoid that people are out to get me, even in broad daylight in the middle of a big crowd of people I know. The doors in my car have to be locked 24/7, I don't unlock the door until my hand is on the handle, and the second I get in the door open I lock the locks. If it's dark - I run like my life is freaking depending on it. I think it is totally rational :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. People are weird. Anyone who claims they are completely normal are lying through their teeth.
    You rock your idiosyncrasies!

    ReplyDelete
  16. My dad has that fear that people are out to get him/our family. The first time I ever got to stay home alone six en escaped from a prison in TEXAS (we live in Georgia) and he was so paranoid they were going to show up at our house.

    I love to hear other people's idiosyncrasies!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Totally not pertaining to the post, but I love your new layout/background, all that jazz!

    XO, Kelsey

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've taken a picture of my poo and sent it someone.

    Not joking.

    It was impressive.

    What is normal?

    (Not that obviously but still...who determines normal?_)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Definitely laughed one time when my gran fell off her bike. I was nervous.......!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. For some reason, I usually laugh more often than other people, but lately I find myself laughing EVEN MORE. I don't know what's going on with me. I guess this is a good thing? Laughter's good, right? As long as it isn't maniacal? Oh, and I daydream all the time. It was this escapist mechanism for me as a kid, and I have yet to outgrow it and rejoin the real world.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can completely relate to the escaped-murderer story! I am constantly freaking out that an escaped murderer/prisoner/thief is out to get me or will somehow find my room and attack! I also worry whenever I see a police car or police helicopter that they're after me, even though I'm so law-conscious I can't even drop my rubbish without being scared that I'll get into trouble!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love your post :) Hilarious! I went to an Epicopalian high school and received In-School-Suspensino once for putting on lip gloss..redic? I think so - the moms went on a crusade after that on our behalf - needless to say the teacher did not work there anymore. Anywho, my husband also takes pics of me on the pot - IT MAKES ME CRAZY - but I like your idea - the messers become the messees :) I <3 Friends!

    ReplyDelete
  23. They let his ass go to the fair?!?! WTFFFfffffffffff?

    ReplyDelete
  24. laughing at inappropriate times is definitely one of my idiosyncrasies. Not only to laugh at inappropriate times but to laugh first when I see someone I know (or maybe not know) falls before asking if they are okay. I also have an uncontrollable need to laugh when my husband gets mad. That used to happen a lot when my parents were scolding me. I'm sure you can only imagine how happy that made them.

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  25. That pic is HI-larious. I'm seen as "very social", but I actually HATE talking to strangers and LOATHE meeting new people. I just won't go anywhere with new people when Will isn't home or I'm not with my BFF. They are my buffers.

    ReplyDelete

Please, tell me what you think! I love reading your thoughts and opinions, and I find some of my favorite blogs through my comments!

);