That Time A Turtle Almost Ate Me

See here's the thing with snorkeling. You are out there in the ocean, with the fish and the coral, seeing beautiful things, but you are also out there with the killer sharks. And I know, I know the chances of getting eaten by a shark while you are snorkeling is pretty low. Like, very, very low. 

But still. Still. It has to happen to someone. Even if it happens once a year, once a decade, some poor soul has to be the unlucky one. And I always think to myself, "everyone thinks it 'won't happen to me' but it happens to exactly that person!" So I ration, why wouldn't it me?

Hence my resistance.

No worries though, just a few island cocktails and shark? What shark?

 so sexy

We even got Gunner out to snorkel. After a long, loooong trial and error with the snorkel mask. Kid fah-reaked out if his mask was too tight, too loose, too high, too low, too foggy, too clear, too many cardigans up in that mask...that we almost gave up.

Until finally, I shoved his head underwater and told him to just look! for the love! Nemo is down there for crying out loud. And then we couldn't get him out of the water.

Ok so about that turtle. There we were, Rob and I, snorkeling along, when I see something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a big dark blob as the weather was a little overcast so seeing underwater wasn't the clearest.

As I stated earlier, I am always on notice that at anytime, I could be eaten by a big huge Free Willy. So, when I saw a huge dark mass, I pulled an underwater ninja move and came up screaming "shark! shark!"

Ok, so I didn't really do that. But I wanted to. I really wanted to. Instead, I signaled to Rob and beelined it to the beach. When I got my bearings, I saw Rob waving frantically for me to swim out to where he was, and to where the big dark mass was, to come and take a look-see.


I've made no secret about the fact that my husband and I aren't perfect, and that we most certainly don't have a perfect marriage. However, I always assume that deep down, he loves me, but given the perfect opportunity, well, let's just say the life insurance policy he took out on me specifically highlights "accidental death" as a key point. And Rob and I alone? In the ocean? With a big dark mystery killer shark shadow between us?

Pfffttttt. I ain't no spring chicken. I could see where this was headed a mile away.

But. I was a little intoxicated so I headed back out, ready to see a shark up close and meet my ultimate demise.

Instead, I encountered a huge turtle that swam with me for a good twenty minutes.

I named him Earl.

I did have an underwater camera on me, and I swear I took close to twenty pictures of Earl, but I must have been super nervous* being so close to such a sea mammal that I only got two semi-decent photos of Earl Junior the IV.

It was a pretty cool experience.

And just because photos of oneself underwater with a snorkel mask on are so super spicy, I want to leave you with one more photo of me...


*aka tanked


  1. ahhh just wrote a post about missing hawaii today. this is not helping.


  2. I snorkeled for the first time in Greece, and I was really digging it, until I realized that OBJECTS THROUGH MASK ARE CLOSER THAN THEY FREAKING APPEAR!! lmao.

  3. Since we are in Okinawa, hubs and I took the course to be certified scuba divers. It's awesome to snorkel, but it's just not right to be able to go that deep. I finished the pool stuff, but I can't get myself into the ocean to do it. I'll just keep to snorkeling.

  4. who could blame Gunner? i love nemo too.
    shark is one of my biggest fear. i'd definitely screaming if i were you.

  5. I had a similar sea turtle experience in Hawaii! I'm a crap swimmer though, so when it swam towards me I freaked out and got nervous and started screaming. I wasn't even tanked so I don't have that to blame. Also? I love that you used the word tanked. Been a minute since I've heard that particular vernacular...it made me giggle, ha!

  6. OMG I'm always FREAKED that I will be the one to be eaten by a shark. Especially since we go to Martha's Vineyard every year and that's where they filmes Jaws. I would have ran out of the water too! Glad it was just a sea turtle! Haha

  7. Wow thats awesome!! I had a really similar experience with about 200 fish swimming together that just happened upon our snorkle adventure!! And I too to the exact same pictures of the BF and me! Awesome post!

  8. Super fun!! What kind of underwater camera do you have?

  9. snorkeling is such a cool experience and I am always terrified some kind of weird fish (or perhaps Nemo) is going to come chomp on me.

  10. Haha I'm always freaked out when snorkeling too even though I want to see all the prettiness I still get scared about all the "what ifs" *sigh*

    Those are some lucky kids traveling to Hawaii and snorkeling in paradise! :)

  11. Oooh that looks awesome! I'd love to be able to do that again! I was in Australia when I was in high school and we snorkled around some random shipwreck- very cool! But I didn't get to see any super-sized turtles!

  12. As usual, you are my hero.

  13. I ran into a sea turtle when we were snorkeling during our honeymoon.. Love it and was so focused on it that i failed to realize the jelly fish that was coming my way. I never swam so fast and got out of the water onto that boat. lol

  14. We went snorkeling off the coast of Maui when I was like 9 or 10. I seriously curled myself around the floaty thing that hangs off the back of the boat. It took my mom like 30 minutes to get me off. She as all like look how clear the water is, nothings going to get you. And I said great so I can see the shark as it chooses me for it's dinner? No thank you. And that was the last time I went in open water. I refuse to be shark food and if I was you I probably would have died of fear.

  15. I'm jealous. I went snorkeling in Hanauma Bay in Hawaii last year and looked for a turtle EVERYWHERE. I was so bummed that I didn't see one. I loved snorkeling but it did take some getting used to. I wanted to panic when I realized I couldn't touch the bottom. Or if I drifted over the coral and couldn't "stand up". But I can't wait to do it again!

  16. One of my favorite parts of snorkeling in HI when I was there 3 years ago was the constant presence of humungous sea turtles. I even stepped on a couple (oopsie poopsie) which of course freaked me out at first.

    Great photos and I love how happy your kiddo looks after he discovered the underwater world:)

  17. Love. Just love.

    And Gunner's little smily face made my blackened heart smile.

  18. Totally hawt in that snorkel mask. Also, the turtle just swam along with you? That's the coolest.

    I can totally understand being scared of the snorkel mask, because on my honeymoon this summer, I freaked when it came time to stick my head underwater too. It's such an unnatural thing to do! Gunner is the cutest thing in his floaties and mask though, even if it took him a while to get used to.

  19. snorkeling is such a cool experience. i saw a huge stingray last time i went and it had me a little freaked. i am definitely in awe of underwater nature.

  20. Our cruise is booked!! Bring on Free Willy! P.S. Way to go Gunner!!

  21. Hahaha! This made me laugh. Brad and I are always teasing about how we are going to out each other "accidentally".

    1. Durr. This is Kelsey. I am special and can't figure out how to sign in as myself.

  22. thats awesome. no way will i ever snorkel again. barracudas scare the crap out of me.

  23. lol im pretty impressed with how well the pics turned out!

    also, ive only snorkeled twice - once in costa rica nd once in mexico and both times i became so sea sick i almost vomited but the idea of floating around in my own vomit in the hot ocean water forced me to hold it in! #talkaboutsexy !!

  24. Cute pics and story!
    But two things because I'm a marine biologist and I can't help it-
    1)Sea turtles are not mammals.
    2)Free Willy was an orca, not a shark.

  25. All of you are looking mind blowing in water.


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