She Says, She Says

Let me tell you, I love doing posts like this. I love filling out Q&A questionnaires. I feel it's a good way to get to know someone, to get a feel for their personality and see what, if anything, you have in common with the person. And I can't think of a better person I would like to "Q&A" than the hilarious Taylor from The Daily Tay. See, I like me some funny. And let me tell you, you don't get much funnier than this little sugar right here. She's most definitely one of my daily reads and I can promise you she won't disappoint. 

Taylor asked me a few questions, I asked her a few questions (some the same, a few different) and below are our answers. Hope you enjoy.

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About The Blog:

Q. Why exactly shouldn't we Quote The Raven? Or do you really think we should?

Me: No, never. Why? Have you read my blog?

Q. Why did you start your blog?

Me: To make my life seem more fantastic then it really was.

Taylor: I had just fake graduated college (don't worry, I real graduated six months later), moved to Kansas City for a job and left all my friends and family behind in Nebraska. I was bored and had no one to share my snarky thoughts with so I started them online. It took me about six months to finally share the site with anyone. And then about three years to share it with other actual bloggers. 

Q. How does Rob/Chris feel about the whole blogging thing?

Me: Rob hates the whole blogging thing. He thinks I spend way too much time on it and wishes I would spend that time having sex with him instead. His words not mine.

Taylor: It's funny, because Chris likes to say he reads my blog "in bulk," which means he won't read for three or four months and then he'll take an hour or two to catch up on what he's missed, or so he says...but as of late he's really taken an interest to reading all the wonderful comments that are left. Those are seriously his favorite and he's actually started quoting some of them.

As for the "oversharing of information" part, he's just convinced someone is going to figure out where we live and come kidnap Harlow. So if you're considering this, don't do it. I've got boobie traps set up all over the place that make even Kevin McCallister look like amateur hour.

Taylor and Chris

Q. Do your kiddos know about the blog? Do they even know what a blog is?

Me: Why yes, they in fact do. Both my 2 and 4 year olds have written guest posts on my blog. You can read Gunner's here and Colt's here.

best guest posters ever

About Life Off The Blog

Q. What's your idea of a really great day?

Me: Sleeping in until noon, being brought mimosas in bed, taking a long, hot shower (maybe not alone)  and then heading down to the pool, where I would lay in the sun with no interruption, while being brought a few cocktails, get a tan, read some trash magazines, head back home after a few hours, maybe take a nap and then go out on the town for some good food and of course, good drinks. And then I would rudely get woken up at 6 am by the sound of my children screaming because for my "really great day" to ever happen, it would have to happen in my wildest dreams.

Taylor: My best days occur in the summer, hands down. An ideal day for me would be waking up early (this rarely happens but I like to pretend it's common) then Harlow and I would walk to Starbucks, we'd sit outside and I'd write a blog post while he'd bark at the homeless man who always tries to pet him. We'd go home and make some lunch (my summertime go-to is smoked salmon salad with egg whites and capers) and then we'd head to the dog beach for a little sunshine and relaxation. I'd have a drink in hand by 5 pm (probably a sea breeze) and we'd sit on the patio and wait for Chris to come home from work so we could have a little grill out. Nothing fancy, just give me a day of nice weather and a little bit of writing time and I'm happy.

Taylor and Harlow

Q. If you ever get some alone time, how do you spend it?

Me: Dreaming of my really great non-existent day? No, my alone time is spent while the kids are napping, I pour myself a stiffy and watch good ol' Dr. Phil.

Taylor: I get alone time ALL the time. Since I work from home, I'm alone 80% of the work week. And I love it. So I usually spend it writing, daydreaming, Starbucking, walking Harlow and watching bad reality TV.

Q. What's a perfect date for you and your husband/boyfriend?

Me: Going out for mexican food, throwing back a few shots of tequila, maybe make a vlog together and ending it with some good trash reality TV (Survivor or Big Brother will do).

Taylor: First, I'd like to mention that Raven and I have been off-blog friends now for at least a few months, and yet she just discovered last week that Chris and I are not married! We are still just bf & gf. Middle school styley. But our perfect date consists of eating way too much rich food, drinking a lot of good wine and then relaxing the night away on our couch with Harlow close by.

tequila

About Your Creativeness

Q. What inspired you to write a "children's book?" (PS: my favorite part was when you called a little girl a hooker)

Taylor: Well, I actually said "baby ho," big difference Raven. Big difference. 

I was inspired to write A Bottle For You, A Bottle For Me after I watched my nephew Knox for five days. He was six months at the time. And I was miserable. I've never had more respect/admiration/howthehelldoyoudoit feelings for mothers after that time, so I decided to write a book about the lesser talked about things that babies often do, and why we all need a bottle of wine after encountering them. 

About Your Wildness

Q. One can only imagine what "wild" means when it comes to you. Seriously, I try to imagine and I feel like you're probably one of those lucky to be alive. 

Me: Ok I admit, I laughed out loud when I read this question from Taylor! However, she does have a point. There are many many instances I can look back on and wonder how I am still alive. Some are definitely not blog-appropriate, but other times, like when I hiked a mountain in flip flops clutching a flask and almost missed being crushed by a house-sized boulder, can be used as a warning.

To answer the question, "wild" means to me almost getting kicked out of the Dominican Republic (another one of those non blog-aproppraite stories), not asking "what is this?" before you ingest it, almost being beaten up by a female bouncer twice my size named CoCo and playing the piano with my eyes closed. 

Q. Share one of your wilder moments with us.

Me: Well, most of my wildest moments, again, should be kept in the locked vault that is my head, but I can tell you a "this would only happen to me" situation. I had just started a new job at the country club, but I was also working for my dad in magazine publication, and part of my job was to distribute the magazines when they came out every month. I had about twenty or so stops, but on this particular day, I recruited my sister to drive around with me because I felt very nauseous from the prior nights activities (aka I was hungover as blazes). 

We were driving through a residential area, middle of the day, on our way to our next stop, and I immediately felt the urge and told my sister to "pull over now, no seriously right now I can't hold it in!" I then whipped open the car door, fell to me knees on the sidewalk and disgorged everything I had eaten in the past two days. As I kneeled there trying to gain my composure, I looked up and standing directly across the street from me was my brand new boss at my brand new job. He was standing in the driveway of his house talking to his wife and kids and they had all stopped and stared when they saw me jump out of the car and let it all go. "Raven?" My new boss inquired? I mean, what can you really say in that moment. Not sure how I explained myself out of that one but I must have been a hell of a waitress because I worked at the club for two more years.

Taylor: I don't even want to see my answer compared to Raven's on this one. Because I'm pretty sure at least one of her stories has to involve hanging with the Chili Peppers, or accidentally running with the bulls in Spain, or spitting on Britney Spears. And my so called "crazy" stories are all more along the lines of stupidity. Like getting a ride home from a cop because I fell asleep in the back of my car, or accidentally stealing a golf cart and then accidentally tossing my friend off the back end...

umm...hello amazing calf muscles!

Q. When did you first try alcohol? And was it love at first sip?

Me: Would you believe me if I said I didn't touch a sip of alcohol until I was 17 years old? I was scared of it, I thought everyone who drank it was bad and I could still hear the echoes of my D.A.R.E teacher from middle school. It was one beer and I drank it in the bathroom of my parents house and cried afterwards. Obviously, I've since overcome my fear of the stuff and now only cry when I just got a good buzz on and realize I only have enough for one more drink.

Taylor: Again, compared to Raven, and most people for that matter, I was a real late bloomer with alcohol. I rarely drank in high school because I was training for the WNBA. Or the Olympics. Or whatever the hell else my little naive heart was working towards back in my teens. But like most Nebraska kids, my first sip of alcohol occurred around a bonfire, in an open field, surrounded by cows and horses with presumably I Got Friends In Low Places playing in the background.

Only the best for this girl.

kinda pretty jealous over her senior picture. I won't dare show mine. Ever.

Q. Now let's say ten years down the road you've got some little hellraiser teenage boys. How will you react as a parent?

Me: We bust ass over here. Obviously not in the literal sense but Rob and I are no wussy parents and when it comes to raising our boys? We give them immense amounts of love however that also includes immense amounts of ass busting if they get out of line (again, not in the literal sense. For a few of you out there I know I need to clarify that).

Taylor: No comment.

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And there you have it! I hope you don't think any less of me, and think even higher of Miss Taylor from The Daily Tay. Soul sisters I tell you...soul sisters.