- show your husband this photo. Is he still paying attention to what you have to say? -
I'm sure by now, a lot of you have read the blog post by the mother who spoke to teenage girls about putting up inappropriate photos on social media. That post elicited a lot of response, both positive and negative, and it really touched on a subject I am passionately opinionated about. I wanted to wait until the media circus had died down a bit before I threw in my two cents, however furthermore, what I am about to say is something I have wanted to say for a while now, that really doesn't have much to do with Mrs. Hall's letter to teenage girls but rather about the way things have "progressed" for women in the last decade or so.
Mrs. Hall wrote in her post that any girls who were friends with her sons on social media and uploaded provocative photos would be deleted, or in some cases, un-friended. In her words, "provocative" meant taking photos with your nipples being uncovered, standing only in a towel and taking "sexy selfies."
Hey. Sounds reasonable enough to me! If this mother doesn't want her children looking at racy (yes I said racy) photos of young girls, good for her! What's the big deal? If you don't agree, and if you in fact do wish for your children to be exposed to needless sexual displays of attraction, then good for you also! You can even write a post about it, and I may even read it, but I sure as hell won't get my panties in a wad over our differing opinions.
But that isn't what happened when Mrs. Hall's post went viral.
The outrage. The outrage was unbelievable. The pure and simple rage that people had over this woman daring to "slut shame" young girls. And all that rage is what really prompted me to write this post because I just kept asking myself..."are people really that stupid?"
Slut shaming. The new buzzword of the week. In which basically anything negative you have to say about a person and their actions in regards to sexuality is "slut shaming" them.
Ok then, I guess I'm about to get "negative."
Does a girl who walks home late at night wasted after a frat party deserve to be raped? OF COURSE NOT. But she has a much better chance of being raped than a girl who chose not to get drunk and walk home late at night in the dark. And by telling her so, and stating that "we are all responsible for our own actions regardless" is not slut shaming, it's not anti-feminist bullshit, it's just the fact.
It's like if I let my 5 year old walk alone to the park. The chances of him being abducted by a bad person may be slim (although in this day and age I think not) but he has a tremenoudsly higher chance of being taken by some child molester than if I never let him walk alone to the park in the first place. We could say it's not exactly a parenting thing (although it totally is) but rather a real life fact that monsters are out there waiting to prey on unsuspecting people. Just like it would be irresponsible of me to let my son walk to the park alone, it is also irresponsible of a grown adult making the choice to get wasted and put herself in that situation.
But the extreme Women's Lib argument (and I call them extreme because I know a lot of women with feminist values who think this is just absurd) about "shouldn't we all just support other women and not tear each other apart?" is just silly. Tell me, how does supporting someone being a slut benefit them? To help them be more susceptible to STD's, some that are for life? To help them give away so flippantly an intimate experience that whether you believe it or not, really does affect one's psyche and self-worth? To help them be disrespected by men?
(Another argument the extremes like to make is "well maybe someone should teach men to be respectful of all women." Um, yeah ok. Because men aren't hardwired or anything to respect and value what they have to work for. Don't blame me, blame whatever creator it is you believe in that assembled men and their body parts. Not a believer? Blame science then and watch this video where a Princeton study proves part of a man's brain shuts down when he sees a woman in minimal clothing aka a bikini. And before I get lambasted for wearing a bikini myself, my point in linking the video directly correlates to Mrs. Hall saying in her original post that when men see women scantily clad, they can't un-see it. It's true, TRUE, whether anyone likes that fact or not. And for the record, if I had a daughter, she wouldn't be in a two-piece until she had a job and could buy one herself.)
Getting back to the main point of this post, "anti-slut shaming" is the uber-feminists excuse for not holding women accountable for their actions. The "progression" that they think they are making is really holding women back, making them more of an "object" to the opposite sex rather than an empowering one.
And yes, a teenage girl showing her nipples, posing in a towel or provocatively pushing out certain body parts is indeed modeling "slutty" behavior. And anyone who wants to support such behavior I hope is infertile.
Funny when the word "slutty" becomes off limits and "modesty" becomes oppressive.
Yay!! for the progression of women.