It was a wild time Saturday night. What with a six year old birthday party.
Needless to say, I'm hungover.
We had a small get-together of just our family and my parents. We will do a joint party for both Gunner and Colt this Saturday, until joint parties get the kibosh because they aren't "cool" anymore.
Listen boys, saving money will always be "cool." You might want to remember that.
So since it was just a little party, Gunner only got a little amount of presents. Now last Christmas, when we were in the thick of opening gifts, Gunner opened one from his least favorite second aunt and quite loudly declared "what is this? I hate this!" Right in front of said least favorite second aunt.
I was so embarrassed. I mean, who is teaching this kid manners?! So after that little incident, I took him aside and we had a very detailed talk about how it doesn't matter if you like the gift or not, when someone gives you a present, you are always appreciative and "thank you" is always the appropriate response.
At least in front of their face.
So as we were about to sit down in the living room and open his little amount of presents, I could tell one of them was clothing. Now when you are 33, clothing is something you really want for your birthday, but to a 6 year old, not so much. I gently reminded him once again that whatever it was inside of that wrapping paper, he had better be gracious and not complain. Or else.
Sweatpants. There were two pairs of sweatpants.
I braced myself for his reaction, because I mean, common, sweatpants?!
Gunner: "Huh? Sweatpants? (Pause. Looks at me. I raise my 'brows.) I love these! These are the best sweatpants ever!"
Pat, pat. Selfie fist bump.
Never doubted him for a second.
The other birthday gift he received was a holster, two guns and ammunition. (Fake, but of course.) He didn't have to fake enthusiasm this time, as he was much too happy to be a real live cowboy. He got himself all set up with the essentials: boots, hat and assless chaps. Cowboys and Indians commenced.
At which my mom decided it was the perfect time to tell Gunner the truth about the Cowboys and Indians. It went something like this:
Mom: "Did you know Gunner, that the white people came and just stole this land from the Indians? They did. The Indians were here first and the white people just came and took it because they wanted to. They weren't very nice to the Indians."
I mean, it's all true, but now Gunner is constantly asking me why the white people were big meanies.
Happy Birthday bud.
ps. my dad got Gunner the sweatpants
as a sort of joke on me. He always comments on
how my kids are never wearing any clothes.
He really isn't that lame.