When You Ask Your Mom To Guest Post

4.07.2013

So. 

When I wrote a little blurb in this post about my mom almost leaving me in San Diego, stranded and alone, with no way home, all because of one big misunderstanding with a rented jet-ski, an overwhelming amount of you wondered about my moms account, and begged me to have her guest post. Ok, so maybe only one person asked (thanks Kelsey!) however, I did, and she came through!

Quick backstory: a few years ago (like 15) my mom and I went on a vacation to San Diego, just her and I, over the 4th of July. One warm sunny day we decided to rent jet-skis and take them out on the ocean. Mine was busted. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

However my mom has another "version" of exactly what transpired that almost caused her to leave me deserted thousands of miles away from home. 

Below, in my momma's own words... (with a few tidbits from me peppered in, written in blue)


Let's just start where Raven left off. I was justified in leaving Raven alone stranded in San Diego for this reason alone:

The man that rented us the jet skis told us in no uncertain terms that if we took the jet skis "over by that island" that we would get stuck in sea moss and DIE. Plus we would still be responsible for paying for the jet ski. I love how she says we would still be responsible to pay for the jet skis if we were dead.

Needless to say, little Miss "don't quote the Raven" headed right over in that direction. Lies! She will tell you that she "accidentally" drifted over that way by mistake, but no, her jet ski pipe got clogged with that clumpy sea moss and it almost burned out the engine. Black smoke was spewing out of that jet ski like you wouldn't believe! Now she was really adrift, couldn't get it started again, and I am deciding how to pay for this $5,000 machine!

After all, this vacation was being done on a shoestring budget, or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when we checked out of the hotel and I got our room bill...and realized that Raven was already a day drinker! Did I tell you this trip occurred when she was 16? 16 and a half. AND A HALF!

Anyway, back to the jet skis. Foxy little miss met foxy little mister stranded out by...you guessed it...THAT island. Mister got off his jet ski, swam over to her amidst all that gunk (yes readers, Raven really is "that " hot oh my gosh I'm embarrassed -- even at 16 -- and BB*), stuck his arm down that pipe, pulled out all the moss, pushed her while swimming in it, until her jet ski was clear of it all, it started up again, and she headed back to shore. 

We turned the jet skis back in and waited to see if we would get our deposit back, and what kind of damage Raven had done. Seriously? I got a lemon!

Can you say C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E OVERHAUL? Can you say "Raven, find your own way home?" I don't know, can you say child abuse?

A few other things you may not know:

Raven is my first born. And her favorite. She always promised her two innocent younger sisters a trip to Disneyland if they would do what she said. They believed her and they did it! For years! I think she owes them that trip -- all expenses paid. Ha! No.

I wear glasses and Raven would always tap on them while I had them on until I threatened her that if she did it one more time, I would take her out! So, she started coming toward me with her fingers curled, fractions on inches away from my glasses and says "what if I do, mom, what if I do?" Well, she did, and I took her out! Her dad came home just in time to save her, with a "what the *$&% are you two doing now?!" This one is true. Now that I have two boys that drive me insane sometimes, I feel really, really bad. I'm sowwy momma.

But...every cloud has a silver lining.

Raven is the only person who will go to a scary movie with me.
Raven drinks duckfarts with me.
Raven goes wine tasting with me.
Raven never comes to my house empty handed...she always has her rum and diet coke. Good one mom.

Raven is an awesome daughter. I am proud of her (yes, a round peg that will never fit in a square hole), she is an amazing mommy and her boys simply adore her! She will always be their best friend (oh my...just thinking of Raven's two daughter-in-laws! Please God don't let them marry a Democrat), she does discipline them, but they are hard and fast buds! They are her life and she has fun with them. They are so lucky! *blushing*

Actually with Raven, her cloud has a gold lining...in the shape of a heart. 
She really can be a blast to travel with...we laugh a lot! And I would go back to San Diego again any day with her. Me too mom, as long as you are paying!

I love her. AND YOU CAN QUOTE THAT!



* before boobs

FOLLOW ME ON: GOOGLE+ // TWITTER // FACEBOOK // INSTAGRAM // PINTEREST // BLOGLOVIN’

33 comments:

  1. So, your mom is just as hysterical as you--LOVE IT!!

    I may have teared up a bit at the end <3

    xo
    Ange

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awe! Loved that ending! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. gag me on the sweet ending. at least I'm dads favorite. =) and I SO remember when you tapped her on her glasses! I could try and use that to make her like you less, but my cat swapped those glasses off her face and I don't think she'll ever let me forget that. love you mom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must leave me as the only option left...too bad for you guys.

      Delete
  4. YES! I am so glad you convinced her to do the post! You two do seem to share the same sense of humor...what bad asses you two are ;) After all her funny quips about you, like those above me said, she added in that sweet ending! What a lucky girl you are!

    XO, Kelsey

    ReplyDelete
  5. I almost lost it until I saw the "*" at the end! I was going to say, "Raven was hot at 16 and BB!?!?! What about me??" Good thing you put that asterisk at the end. ;) would have been another sibling dispute. And you are lucky you are the first born because you had time to be the only child before you were traumatized by having twin sisters come along so mom got the chance to love you as her one and only "special" child!


    Good one momma.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is so funny! Your mom is great -Hanna Lei

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bhahahaha- BB (before boobs) BEST!
    Your mum is hilarious!
    :)
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your mom sounds a lot like mine... she is my best friend, yet we argue like non other if need be (which is a lot less frequently now that Im older and drink more!)
    Love this, Lady :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is awesome, hi Ravens mom! First borns exist to test limits. My mom was so worn down after dealing with me, my younger sisters got away with bloody murder. After a moment of reflection, I have come to realize that my sisters owe me a free trip to Disneyland for paving their way.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Too funny and so cute :) I was the oldest too and pure trouble. I hope my children aren't that way, haha. I'll be apologizing to my parents profusely if that's the case!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so so happy you had your momma write this guest post and your comments were hysterical! I'm a first born too and I always test the limits too... but it's made me and my parents better people :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. You and your mom are adorable! Having her guest post was such a great idea - looks like that funny gene runs in the fam ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. You guys are awesome! Hi mom! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Can I day drink with ya'll. I mean, ya'll are a hoot and holla all rolled in one!!!!
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. ....duckfarts. Must have explanation!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Awww! I had been wanting to hear more from the jet ski story, so this was perfect- especially the guy that swam to your rescue! And yeah, whats a duckfart? That seems like a terrifying thing to google ;)

    Some Snapshots Blog
    Jess

    ReplyDelete
  17. What the hell is a duck fart?!

    And this is super sweet of her! You two are cute!

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a cool story, so funny and an amazing ending!!!! Yes...I must ask too, what is a duckfart? hehe

    xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

    ReplyDelete
  19. Raven, I love your Mom! Even if we are probably about the same age! (Way to make me feel old, Rave.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. This just melted my heart! So cute!
    I love reading your story and about your family. My boyfriend is 16 years older than me and I feel like a lot of what you say about what attracted you to him is the same for me. While age is just a number, there is nothing like an older man! I met him when I was 22 and have learned so much. I can't wait for him to be an incredible father, like your husband seems to be.
    Thanks for your awesome blog!!
    ps I am very jealous of your day drinking haha


    20somethingbusinesswoman.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Aw I love this guest post from your mom! So sweet :) Love the jet ski story!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Found on the messy dirty hair's contest. I'm hosting a link up this Thursday April 11, show me your favorite spring trend. I'm also doing a giveaway: a $300 gift card to Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic. Would love to see you at the link up and have you enter the contest.

    Agi:)

    vodkainfusedlemonade.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. Still waiting on the duckfart explaination!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yes. I love your mom. And I love duck farts. Duck farts all around.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love this guest post! Almost makes me want to ask my mom to do a post on my blog (not that anyone reads that either! BUT they might if she's writing on it!)

    ReplyDelete

Please, tell me what you think! I love reading your thoughts and opinions, and I find some of my favorite blogs through my comments!