So I missed the writing.
I missed the writing and I knew I wanted to get back to the writing but I also knew I just wasn't the same person as my "old blog." Okay, so maybe I was the same person per say but I didn't feel like that same person who wrote that old blog.
Confusing? It confused me too. For a while...which is why I felt conflicted about hanging the whole thing up all together. I loved my old blog, I looked back fondly at my time at my old blog, I had fun at my old blog. I met some awesome people at my old blog and I had a good run at my old blog.
I loved writing back then. I looked forward to it. It was something I was proud of and dedicated to. I sat down and wrote at my old blog because I had a fire to do so.
It made me happy.
Writing has always made me feel happy, since as far as I can remember.
Until it didn't. Until I would sit down and stare at my computer and force something out.
I don't necessarily agree with everything I've written in the past nor do I necessarily disagree with anything I've written in the past...I meant it when I said it and I said it when I meant it. But with life, we grow and learn and move on and evolve and do all that silly universe-y stuff. Yes I'm still a conservative with a few liberal tendencies and yes I still believe that men should only be sex addicts to their wives and yes I still want to be my husband's girlfriend and no I don't suddenly identify as a feminist and yes I still am and will always be a major hot mess and yes I still loathe redheads and would never invite one over for dinner.
But for drinks? Yeah, maybe.
See? Growing and evolving and shit.
Now that that is out of the way...
I just sat down and didn't quite know what to do. I knew I wanted to write, but I also knew I didn't feel the same — there — as I did in the years prior. I had moved on, a season had passed, a few seasons had passed...and my first thought was to up and start a new blog altogether.
I had a name (although not as original, and to be honest it was pretty stupid) and I had a godaddy account, but then a few things: I would have to purchase a brand new domain and then direct that new domain to a new blog and eventually my old blog domain would die off and anyone from back in the heyday with that bookmark would be directed towards never never land...definitely not towards my new stupid blog name site and truthfully all that techy stuff made me want to punch Lena Dunham in the face (still hate her, #neverforget) and so finally I just decided I would transform my current blog into my new-and-improved blog and thus The Big Scrub came to life.
The Big Scrub = I scrubbed my blog. Big.
Most posts were deleted, a lot were just taken back to "draft." It was the easiest, most efficient way to do it without having to re-do everything. (And not kidding, my new blog name was really, truly stupid.)
I knew I wanted to write. And I knew I wanted to do it where I was most comfortable, yet my familiar old slice of the blog-o-pie had so many outdated, unwanted pieces to it. It didn't feel like me anymore. It was like dragging myself out of bed to go to a job I hated.
So I'm back here at Don't Quote The Raven and it's the same and it's completely different. But I know I want this space and I know I want to write here and also, let's be brutally honest...
I miss the money. I made $156 on my blog last month and I literally have put almost zero effort into my blog for the past month/year. The money and the free stuff...it's so hard to let you go!
Mostly, I missed the writing though. And the money. And the free stuff.
But mostly the writing.
So I'll totally be back after the new year, I'm excited and pumped and even if at this point my mom and sisters are the only ones that read it, I'm comfortable with that because I'm comfortable with my blog.
In the meantime, I'm off to the beautiful Kauai for a while and I will be annoyingly over-instamgramming, over-facebooking and definitely over-drinking while I'm there. You can follow me on Instagram here and Facebook here if you want, promise I won't come knock down your door if you don't.
See you next year.