3.25.2015

The Best Summer Drink and Other Important Stuff


- My Stitchfix this month was pretty on point. Those tops above? Keep. What didn't I keep? The boyfriend jeans I'm also wearing and two grandma-ish type sweaters. Which, if you love granny clothes, you would have loved them. I gotta say, Stitchfix has been stepping up their game lately. 

Again, as I fear repeating myself every single month, Stitchfix is an awesome program that is basically like a personal shopper for you. You go in, fill out a detailed survey of your specific fashion style, tell them your price point (for example, I put my price range for tops between $25-$55, pants and or jeans, $85-$200, accessories $15-$40) and once a month, a box shows up on your doorstep with five times inside. You keep what you want, send back what you don't in their prepaid express bag. It does cost $20 a month however...whatever you decide to keep? That $20 goes towards the purchase of that item/items. You decide to keep the whole shebang? You get 25% off everything. It's pretty cool and definitely a win/win for me as I almost always keep at least one item, so my $20 isn't being wasted. You can see for yourself here!

- Suuuummmmeeeerrrrr. My soul sister. I know I wax on and on about it on my instagram feed, but geezus! It's planning on getting up into the 70's here in good 'ol Kennewick Washington and if that doesn't feed my desire for boating and sunning well then...it most does for drinking cocktails on the beach. 

Speaking of cocktails...I have the perfect summer drink that will not cut into your bikini. 

No really, I seriously do!


I make no secret of the fact I like to imbibe in the alcohols. If it's a day that ends in "day," you can pretty much assume I'm enjoying happy hour at any hour. Admit it, proud of it, love it, and I will always invite you to join it. However obviously I can't kick back the Captain Morgan's like I used to in my youth. First choice? Yes. But it's dark and surgery and just not good for my mini skirt/Ugg boots combo goals. 

So vodka it is. Straight would be best, but I'm not quite there yet so I still need a decent mixer. I know alcohol dehydrates, so I mix mine with Perrier water. I hydrate while I'm being dehydrated so I call it a wash through and through. But, I still need a little taste, so I squeeze a bit of lemon in and a tiny dab of berry liquid water enhancer and it basically tastes like juice. 

A very strong vodka tasting juice but juice nonetheless. AND the best part is it is basically as low-cal an alcoholic drink as you can get. What's that about not posing with a drink in my hand? Psshhh, when it's this low-cal and tasty, me thinks it enhances my IQ by a few points. 

- It's almost the weekend! Plans? Me and two girlfriends are going on an eensy little girls trip this Friday. One of them is my redheaded friend (God help us all) and the other is my bestest 'estest ever. Of course I will be way overgramming on my instagram (username @ravenasmith) so follow along if you like! If not, well, swerve bish swerve! 

KTHXBYE

3.23.2015

A Few Things I Forgot To Mention


- Remember when I went to LA a few weeks ago? I haven't gotten a chance to really sit down and write about it but it was a whirlwind trip with some highs and some mediums. Yes I did go to SUR with my partner-in-crime Breezy and no I didn't see Jax. He must have had the night off to get a herpes test or something. Yes we had the goat cheese balls and no Kristen wasn't my hateress. Yes the goat cheese balls were amazing and our waitress was actually Kristina, Stassi's "bestie" on the show. No I didn't see Lisa and yes I did kiss Bre on the lips when we parted ways. 

- I also got to meet some awesome people, such as Jamie and Ryan and Jamie's husband, who happened to be my fireball shot cohort and introduced me to my first ever sip of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon, however our time was totally cut short and I demand a do-over! 

- Does anyone watch the show Scorpion? I used to love it. LOVE it. Then I met the actual Walter O'Brien in real life (and even took a ride in his bulletproof Mercedes) and he sadly ruined the entire show for me. I get it...he's super smart...IQ levels off the charts, and I also get his social skills aren't that on point...however, a few certain things I heard him say at dinner made my mouth drop. I get that it's LA, and people are crazy there, but give. me. a. break! Let's just put it this way: he offered me a macaroon for dessert and I declined. And I've never had a macaroon in my life and I've always wanted to try one but just couldn't bring myself to reach into his little macaroon box and accept his advances. Couldn't do it. I was that mad. And now I can't even watch his show. Sorry Katharine McPhee. Stupid macaroons. 

But see? 

Obviously a pre-dinner selfie, hence the smile. Douche.

- You know how I preach on and on about my kids not having video games and being a better mom than you because of it? Well, they each got their own tablets for their birthday. And they are obsessed. And I let them play it. For sometimes more than the allotted time. Sometimes meaning almost every day. Letting them play their tablets and Minecraft for way too long. (After! Might I add, they play outside for a few hours first.) Because gosh being a mom is hard work! And sometimes I need just a little bit to myself to take a nap or something! So I'm totally admitting that I'm no better than any other mom out there. Well, except you liberal moms who never give your kids boundaries and let them run themselves spoiled, yet won't let them eat chocolate peanut butter cup bunnies and scoff at those who feed their kids non-organic mac and cheese. Totally better then you. 

- I must say, I saw Insurgent over the weekend with my cousin and his wife-to-be and loved it. I knew I would, just because I worship the books and even though I knew the movie wouldn't be half as good as the book, I still knew I would love it. Four, for one, is indescribable. Tris, on the other hand, totally needs to invest in a bra. But yes, amazing movie. Go see it. And read the books. And vote republican. 

Have a great week.

3.17.2015

Things I'm Loving So Hard I Just Have To Share


- Obviously I'm loving that amazing American Rag olive jacket in the photos above. I got it the day before I left for LA last weekend because I wanted a thin, lightweight cool jacket to wear when it got cold. And it was on sale - for 54 dollars! - and it's still on sale right now! It's honestly super comfortable, super casual and lest not forget super cute, and the color...olive...my favey fave. You can get it here and I very much so recommend it. 

- Ok. It's no secret I bleach the blitz out of my hair. Naturally, I am almost straight black. So it's also no secret my hair probably ain't the healthiest of the bunch. I've talked on and on about the leave-in conditioner I swear by, but today I want to talk about the anti-brassy purple shampoo I live and die by. Friends. Friends! If you are a fake blonde or a natural blonde, this shampoo is amazing. I can't even give it enough kudos, seriously. I have tried them all. ALL! And this one 1000% cuts out the brassiness completely. It's called Beach Blondes by Lee Stafford. See in the photo above where you can't see my face and it's just my hair? That is from using the purple shampoo. I use it twice a week and never ever does my blonde hair get brassy. Ever. Finding this shampoo has completely saved my entire bleach blonde experience in life, I kid you not. Get it here!

- Lo-ooo-oooo-ooooo-ving reading The Infernal Devices series. I almost can't even when it comes to talking about books. There are just so many to read, so many recommendations, so many books! that sometimes the subject seems futile because there are just so many. It almost makes me sad to talk about the ones I've read cause then it gets me thinking about the ones I haven't read and that alone makes me depressed. Anyway, I never thought I would enjoy a series about angels and demons and werewolves, warlocks and vampires, but I absolutely adored The Mortal Instruments series and am now onto The Infernal Devices...of course, I am leaving the last Mortal Instruments book until I have finished TID...as instructed by those who have read them all. My point is...I LOVE BOOKS. I kinda want to marry them and have babies.

- Know what else I'm loving? Orange is the New Black on Netflix. I know, so behind the times, but at least I'm here now? I gotta admit...some scenes make me totally squirmy, but I'm addicted and I can't stop. When does season 3 come out again?!

- Every. Single. Thing. Wildfox Couture. Seriously! I WANT THIS! (You can get it for you, or for me...here.)

Happy Wednesday. 
Can Wednesdays be happy really?
Prob not. 
But if I had that flamingo top above, I bet mine would be super duper happy.

3.15.2015

Time For A Few Confessions


- I couldn't find my cat the other day and seriously thought I'd lost her for good. The door had been open and I figured she got out and had gotten eaten by coyotes. I almost got a tad teary-eyed...then I got a text from my mom saying she made me dinner so I kind of forgot about it. Don't worry, we eventually found her. But see? I totally almost have a heart.

- This one time at college, I hid behind a dumpster for two hours because a guy I was trying to avoid was lingering right outside my apartment. I called my neighbor friend and had her bring me down a big glass of Mad Dog 20/20 while I waited. Good times.

- I really want another tattoo, but I'm running out of places to put them. I won't put any on my legs 'cause hello trashy but I'm thinking of getting one that runs down the side of my torso. Possibly my left shoulder? Maybe get that dumb chinese symbol on my wrist covered up with something else not so dumb. I'd totally get a sleeve if my husband wouldn't leave me. Or a tear inked right under my eye to prove I do cry. Are palm tattoos a thing yet? So many possibilities. Just not the legs, cause you know, filth. 

- I'll do anything once. Twice if it was really fun. And most likely three times if it was the stupidest idea on the planet.

- I tried on a crop top the other day at the mall. Apparently, crop tops don't go good with lemon, poppyseed or blueberry so I put it back.

- I read a stupid quote on Pinterest that said "throw kindness around like confetti." Ok sure. I don't think people at the local Albertsons would like it much if it started raining mini vodka bottles on their heads. I mean, I'd love it, but I'm fun and charming and not like all the rest. 

- Speaking of Albertsons, does anyone else play the Monopoly game? Let me explain it real quick for those of you that don't know: it's a seasonal promotion type thing, you get "board pieces" every time you shop at their grocery store. Then you go home, get out your Monology game board and see if you won any of the prizes such as a million dollars, a vacation home, a jet ski, a free car, a sweet BBQ or a plethora of other prizes. You receive these "game board pieces" whenever you check out. 

Now some people don't play the game (let's be honest, most don't cause they are boring and not fun and charming like me) so I always eavesdrop on the customer in front of me in line, and whenever the cashier asks, "do you play Monopoly?" and they say, "no," I always pipe in and declare, "but I do! I'll take their tickets!" And if I hear someone decline on the lane over, I'll take theirs too.

I even waited for a lady behind me just so she could give me her tickets. I was checked out, had already paid for my groceries and everything, just standing there with my cart full of liquor and ding dongs waiting for her to be done with her groceries so she could get all checked out and hand over her game pieces to me. 

I even have my mom and dad and our neighbor lady shopping there while the promotion lasts. Yes, I am that person but you know what?! Someone has to win! And why not me? No really, why not?! Exactly.

- Every year at about this time, I get on the Victorias Secret website and buy tons of hawt bikinis thinking if it looks like that on the model, it will look like that on me. And then every year I realize there's a reason they "throw in" a big, oversized towel for free because NO. 

- Sometimes I leave my glasses on during sex. I would take them off, but then I couldn't see what was happening on Vanderpump Rules so...

K, bye.