I'm Talking To YOU Loud Movie Theater Eaters

Let me just start by saying that I've gotten asked lately about my messy topknot (ha). My secret is this thing. It looks really ugly by itself, but I just wrap it around my baby topknot and kind of backcomb it and pin it in place and boom, chunky messy bun.

Also, my Stitch Fix items have been amazing lately! I just received the above crochet racerback top this last weekend, and omgah, it's heaven. Flowy, casual, artsy. In love. 

*****

Now let me just talk a minute about popcorn crunchers. Particularly ones that crunch their popcorn loudly at the movie theater. Particularly the ones that eat their popcorn piece by piece and crunch each piece loudly. Particularly the ones who crunch and chomp and slurp and basically do anything besides sit still, shut up and watch the damn movie!

Misophonia: literally "hatred of sound," a neurological disorder in which negative experiences (anger, flight, hatred, disgust) are triggered by specific sounds. It can be described as an immediate and extremely negative emotional response accompanied by an automatic physiological flight response to identifiable auditory, visual and olfactory stimuli. People who have misophonia are most commonly angered, and even enraged, by common ambient sounds, such as other people clipping their nails, brushing teeth, eating crushed ice, eating, slurping, drinking, chewing gun, or or or....

EATING POPCORN LOUDLY IN A MOVIE THEATER!

Angered? Enraged?! Sounds about right! I didn't pay $2000 for a movie ticket and large soda to sit down by some twerp who thinks popcorn crunching is an olympic event!

Oh wait, wait, wait. Excuse me. I'm sorry, because actually no, that's not how it happened. I actually on purpose sat myself in the upper left middle row, away from any potential misophonia-inducing cretin and since the theater was mostly empty, I figured for once I may have an enjoyable time watching the newest horror flick in peace. 

But nooooooooo. No, some fool who I can only assume is a second cousin of Kid Rock has to sit right in my bubble. Not three rows down, not two rows up, and most definitely not twenty rows over as the entire theater is practically deserted but this individual actually plops down in the very seat right. behind. me. 

I mean, he's so close he could pick out my head lice with a comb. That is if I had any. Which I don't but that's certainly not the point. The point is I have this humongous frothy mouth behind me who is not only texting the entire time and kicking the back of my chair but is eating his sweet melty buttery goodness extremely loud and making the most godawful smacking noises like the loathsome, horrid entitled bitch that he is!!! Enraged? Damn right I'm enraged!!

Misophonia? I think they have another term for that. Involuntary homicide.

Right Quick

- I'm totally in love with the above top. It's so soft and the zipper detail at the shoulders is too cool. And the boutique where it's from, Milleigh Frances, is having 30% off everything in their store for cyber Monday (this is also where I get my super soft printed leggings). Just use code THIRTY and get shopping!

- Has anyone else read the Divergent books?? I saw a preview for the first book yesterday and can I just say how excited I am! I thought I would never love another dystopian book series after The Hunger Games but I am loving these! Trust me, if you loved the Hunger Games, you will love Divergent. 

- Next weekend, the whole fam is heading up to Leavenworth. I can't wait to spend time with my nieces and have game night every night, sled and snowshoe, drink cocktails in the hot tub and take a nap every day! We might even try and find another place to go on a dogsled ride since that one time was so...godawful.

- I skipped black Friday like the plaque. But cyber Monday? Sitting home all day on my couch in my yoga pants and getting sweet deals? Sure, why not. I will definitely be scoring this, this and this. (What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good tee!)

Happy shopping guys! And if there is something I need to know about, make sure and tell me! 

A Thanksgiving I Confess Sesh

I've basically lived in these boots for the past month

-I confess: I'm thankful for my iPhone. I know this one seems obvious, but for the love of all things Candy Crush, it has become like my third child. Whenever I leave the house and forget it, I honestly get that same tinge in the pit of my stomach as if I forgot Gunner on the side of the road kitty corner to a level 3 sex offender. You know the feeling...

- I confess: I'm thankful for honest friends who tell me I'm becoming that annoying person on facebook who spams everyone with Candy Crush requests. (For the record: I swore to myself I would never be that person, ever. However I also had high hopes of being a productive member of society whose entire existence wasn't based around day drinking and Dr. Phil reruns.) On that note...

I confess: I'm thankful that Fireball is the same color as apple cider, and it's perfectly acceptable to drink apple cider all. day. long.

I confess: I'm thankful for a husband that doesn't follow through on his threat to divorce me if I get just one more tattoo. That would really hurt my feelings. (And then who would pay for the next five?!)

I confess: I'm thankful for Spanx. Not only do they give the illusion of slimmer thighs, but you burn a good hundred or so calories just trying to get them on. That's what I call a win/win.

In all seriousness, I'm extremely thankful for an amazing family, a roof over my head and a hardworking husband. For healthy kids and the love from a Savior above. I'm thankful for my dog, my cat and a free country to live in.

But mostly I'm thankful for fireball that looks like apple cider.

And my iphone.

The Professional Wedding Photos Are In

And they are pretty much amazing. My sister looked gorgeous and so did I.

I packed up my little road trip partner-in-crime and headed to my sisters place last weekend. Or should I say, to my sister and her husband's new place. I'm still getting used to not having Brittany all to myself. It's not fair and I'm not sure who Mr. Brittany thinks he is but homeboy needs to back up. My honorary guest room has somehow morphed into his office and I don't like it very much. His stuff is everywhere it seems and I can't walk around naked anymore. Whatever.

Ok fine. So I actually really like him a lot and he is amazing with my kids. I just hope he knows that if both of us were dangling off a cliff and Brittany could only save one of us, she would choose me. So there.

And Rob get your hand off Taylor's ass.

Freebird

I heard the other day on the radio (some talk show) that women don't fully "find themselves" until sometime in their 30s. And I can say with complete confidence that that is totally true for me. I mean, if I had married some of the guys I "thought" I was in love with in my early teens and twenties, I would be one hurting puppy right now. 

In my teens and twenties, I did some pretty stupid stuff.  It was damn fun stuff, but reflectively really, really stupid. And it's not like I would change it if I could, because no one could convince me back then that what I was doing was not that smart. My brain was not fully developed, I hadn't had mature experiences, I thought I knew everything and was a rebel without a cause.

Some say they want to be young forever. But I wouldn't go back to my twenties for anything in the world. Because back in my twenties, I was extremely self-conscious. Walking around in a bikini was straight torture for me. These days? In my 30s? I don't have time to be self-conscious because I have two little boys to run after and make sand castles with. In my twenties, making sure everyone liked me was very high on my list. These days? In my 30s? I'm me, take it or leave it.

I was the same way when it came to getting tattoos. I was 17 when I said I wanted my first tattoo. My parents said if I waited until I was 18 that they would pay for my first one. I couldn't/didn't want to wait the four months until then so I went and paid $15 for a fake ID and got my very first tattoo. 

A yellow daisy on my right lower back. It really had no meaning whatsoever, wasn't clever or original, and basically the only reason I got it was to be "cool and different." Which was the reason for a lot of silly things I did back then. Like get a butterfly tattoo on my foot. And a chinese symbol on my wrist. And then another tattoo on my foot of a dragonfly just to keep the butterfly company.

I mean, pretty frivolous when you think back on it. Yet, I wouldn't change a thing. I don't regret one tattoo I got back in my teens/twenties. They are permanent symbols of who I was back then. Or rather, of who I was trying to be. Just like a lot of people, I was in a way lost in my twenties. Trying to figure out who I was and making mistakes along the way and now I'm starting to sound cheesy and philosophical so let's just go with this:

I'm who I am am now.

I'm realizing more every day my true potential. I've created two human lives, so I'm living for someone other than myself. I'm realizing character means more than a prefect body, and my kids' acceptance of me is worth way more than a strangers. So what if I look a little lumpy and not perfect in a bikini at the beach. My kids don't see any of that. All they see is their mom who is willing to run around and chase them and build a sandcastle with them. And my husband? The one person who promised to love and cherish me and spend every day with me for the rest of your lives? He actually loves me for who I am also. Imagine that. 

So no. I don't regret the silly butterfly tattoo on my foot. I look at it and am reminded how far I have come. I look at it and think to myself, how can I turn this butterfly tattoo into something different? Something more? Something else that tells of who I am today? (Seriously though, I've seen some pretty awesome cover-up tattoos.) 

I mean, I'm evolving every day, more so then ever right now. And when I walk into a tattoo shop, I bypass the standard tattoo books and instead tell the tattoo artist what I want, what I am thinking in my head, my heart, and what I want to ink permanently on my body. 

Which is exactly what I did last Friday. I woke up that morning and spontaneously decided I wanted a new tattoo. I knew what I wanted, I had a vision in my head and it was exactly how I had been feeling. It was really what I had been feeling my entire life but didn't know how to articulate. 

Until now, just days shy of my 33rd birthday.

My name is Raven

and I am, and always have been

a freebird.

This Week's Best Ever

- So as you may know by now, I love pranks. I swear the main reason God gave me children was so I could scare the ever living crap out of them and catch it on tape. If you have followed me for a bit now, you may have seen the exploding pen prank I did on both my kids. My mom saw it all, but I still was able to hoodwink her into taking the bait. She made me delete it from facebook but it's still live on my instagram account, for now anyway. Seriously, I live for this stuff.

- Changing pace...sometimes, an evil person is just plain evil. And nothing will ever change that, not even an interview with Rolling Stone magazine. 

- I feel like I reference him every week, but I can't get enough of The Matt Walsh blog. Especially this post, in which he talks about "radical" parenting. Genius.

- This short video. GOSH this puts the average social media addict to shame. Including me.

- My kids go to school, and I will pick my kids up however I please. This cop should be banished from any public service job for the rest of his life. Give me a mother freaking break.

Happy weekend friends.