How Would Your History Book Read?

4.17.2013


I won't lie, there are times I really want to be famous. So famous that everyone knows who I am. On the other hand, I would be terrified if I suddenly became a household name, because I know dirt would be dug up on me, really muddy dirt that I would be mortified if the whole world knew.

I know there are pictures out there of me from my past that would disqualify me from any future Thanksgiving dinners. I've done things and been a part of things that I never want my parents to know about. I've broken many a rule, gone places I never should have gone and done things I never should have done.

But let's be honest, who hasn't?

Right now, at this very moment, I'm pretty happy with who I am. I think I'm a pretty good mom, a semi decent wife and a helluva good cocktail mixer. I'm content with my conscience, and I know I'm an all around good person.

Still. If someone were to write my history book and publish it for all to read? My first reaction is that I would be mortified. I mean, I've done some pretty sketchy stuff, some stuff that may be considered illegal in 49 states. So yeah, for that to get out might be a little embarrassing.

On the other hand, I did it, I'll own it, and I can admit when a mistake I did make. Everything I've done in the past, good or bad, has made me into who I am today. And if we're being honest and humble, I'm pretty f*cking cool. Only if we're being humble and honest...

I guess what I'm trying to say is I've never really done anything that would devastate me if the truth came out. I've never slept with my sisters boyfriends, I've never voted Democrat and I've never slathered crisco butter all over my body to accelerate my tan in a tanning bed. (It works. It may eventually kill you, but hell it works.)

Now all I gotta do is decide on a name for my book...

I think "Shoulda Woulda Coulda: It's All Gooda" sounds....gooda...

What would your history book be called?


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33 comments:

  1. Haha I like that name!!

    Mine would be "Bad Habits
    ...' and I'll leave it at that lol

    xo
    Ange

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  2. I love this post. There definitely would be things I didn't want people to know about me coming out if there was a book about my life. Some things that were done to me and some I did. I have no clue what mine would be called. It's too early in the am to get creative. lol

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  3. I think I have to agree with the whole famous thing, if everyone knew everything about me I don't think I'd be the good kind of famous. Mine might be, "and it all started when" -Hanna

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  4. Never voted Democrat - lol

    Me neither ;)

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  5. Hey, I've never voted Democrat either! :) Make sure you let us know when the book comes out, I have a feeling it would be a best seller!

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  6. i know you're famous ;)
    think the book will be a best seller.

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  7. I don't know what my book would be called. There is a lot of crap I have done, too. But really, who hasn't?! Gotta live your life ya know!!

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  8. I have thought the same exact thing! Love all your posts, keepin it real girl!

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  9. my book would be called. "Helene was all kinds of messed up, but she sure knows how to dance." actually probably not because i really only know how to dance hip hop. ok now i'm rambling. and isn't it fun to do bad stuff sometimes?

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  10. I have a feeling that my book would include a subtext line of "You might think this is a boring book, but you'd be surprised."

    Apparently people think I'm fun and funny, but many are truly shocked by some of the things I've done.

    If my brother or I ever run for political office, it would absolutely be on the "Yeah, we did it, get over it, our family has." Platform.

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  11. love this post Raven! I have definitely done a lot of f'ed up stuff but I have had a hell of a lot of fun!

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  12. LOVE THE NAME! But you just described my life to a "T". I wouldn't change a thing, well maybe just a few....

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  13. I must say I wouldn't change a single thing in my life. I have been blessed with great friends and memories. sometimes I would push the limits too far, but always managed to leave feeling I always "tried" to make the best decision...

    love ya Rav!!

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  14. I am SO with you on this one! I used to be a wild child (still have a slight streak of it, let's be honest) and would be MORTIFIED if my parents knew some of the things I did. BUT, I had an absolute BLAST and hell, I was young so screw it. I am tagging you in a very fitting quote on my Facebook, you'll love :)

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  15. Sounds like the makings of a hilarious memoir to me ;)

    Some Snapshots Blog
    Jess

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  16. HA - this is great.
    you know how they say history is just an account of the winners?
    my book would be titled "this bitch lost"

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  17. i think my history book would be called: "Smashley: I should have died at 19"

    yup.

    also, that really IS my nickname.. and the biggest smile spreads across my face when im in a crowded bar and the chants start: SMASHLEY SMASHLEY SMASH-LEY (;

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  19. I love this post.. it's so important to own all of our mistakes and be proud of who we are! I'm a published writer and I made the "mistake" letting it be printed that I no longer use alcohol to deal/mask my grief after my son passed away... yesterday I was day drinking at 10AM (it was my birthday and it's not the norm), I can own up that I turned to alcohol to help handle my problems and it wasn't the right choice.. I think that my book would be called "Every Lesson Learned Was the Hard Way" :)

    ugottahavehart.blogspot.com

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  20. This is a quote my grandma has said to me since I was like 7 years old! LOVE IT!

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  21. Oh Shit.

    That's my title. Just that.

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  22. HAHAHA I love this and now I'm completely intrigued and want to know all your dirty secrets! please write a memoir. I will read it and be your book tour manager which would take places at bars all over the US. Sound fun right? And obviiiiously my book would be Brianna's Burn Book. I mean. Not so much MY history... but what fun is talking about your problems when you can slam others? ;)

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  23. Never voted democrat, haha! Me neither.

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  24. I have never voted democrat, either! I love that you put that!

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  25. I'm fairly sure you have voted Democrat at least once!

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