Why I'm Glad I'm Not On A Reality Show

7.11.2013


Listen. I love reality tv. I watch them all. Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother (thank GOD surfer dude is adios), MTV's The Challenge (hello CT), The Kardashions, and every single city of The Real Housewives. I love it. And I think one of the biggest reasons I love reality tv so is because when I watch it, I feel so much better about myself. You know what I mean? 

Which got me thinking. As much as I would love the notoriety and the fame of being on a reality tv series (oh I so would), below are a few reasons I am thankful I haven't become famous after releasing my homemade sex tape. Yet.

If I had my own reality tv show, everyone would discover my deep, dark secret...I cry during Dr. Phil. But since I don't, let's pretend you never heard that.

If I had my own reality tv show, ya'll would be subjected to my naked cooking. And naked cleaning. And naked 4-wheeling. What? We make our own rules out here in the country.

If I had my own reality tv show, you might all hate me when you realize I sleep in 'til 9 am. Sorry not sorry but I'm not the ninny who didn't tinfoil my children's windows

If I had my own reality tv show, Honey Boo Boo would be S.O.L. Because there is only room for one biscuit in this business.

If I had my own reality tv show, I'm pretty sure my parents would never speak to me again. There are some things that seriously need to be kept hidden.

If I had my own reality tv show, I probably wouldn't sing Britney's "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" out loud anymore. Actually, I would. I totally would. Talk about ratings gold.

If I had my own reality tv show, I'd probably never eat. Because nothing and I mean nothing is more disgusting then seeing - and hearing! - people eat. On the plus side I'd be a real hungry skinny bitch...

If I had my own reality tv show, I'm pretty sure it would get cancelled after one week due to acts of violence, nudity, profanity and x-rated material. 


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34 comments:

  1. LOL this is too funny. I don't think any of us could be on reality tv...then again maybe some could since there seem to be more and more shows popping up with the weirdest things on it.

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  2. You're hilarious. All of these made me laugh. Hanna Marie

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  3. I was on a reality show once. It wasn't my own so I got to keep some stuff hidden, but lots of stuff came out. Like me ugly crying on camera. Not. Cool.

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  4. Gosh you crack me up! I agree on the being naked, parents never speaking to me again and eating - my reality show would feature all sorts of stuff my parents would hate, my naked ass and food! I think I would kind of like it. I'm a Big Brother super fan and totes agree on the David thing. He was dumber than dumb! And I watch the live feeds and HATE Aaryn, Jeremy needs to go and Kaitlin, well lets just say she is going to hate herself at the end of this show!

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  5. Love these little glimpses into your life! You seem like you would be super fun to hang out with, and sit in your backyard with and have a cocktail while they kids play...not that I'm inviting myself...:)

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  6. oh surfer dude... he was whack... big brother needs better lol

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  7. 100% are about parents disowning. I always say that as soon as mine kick the bucket I can finally write my autobiography.

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  8. Seeing and hearing people eat is DISGUSTING! I just celebrated my first year anniversary and just now will sit next to Rob while he eats and have stopped yelling at him and only have to give him "that look" when he's making noises (ya know, Caveman eating).

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  9. Mom and dad would absolutely disown you!! And you have to cook to be able to do it naked. ;)

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  10. haha yes! i could never be on reality! and i LOVE this gorgeous pic of you!

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  11. I love CT also! Lol. Never could be on a reality show either. If anyone would say anything about my kids or mothering style. I would want to hurt a lot of people. So for my own sanity no way no how not ever!

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  12. Hysterical Points! I constantly think of what my life would be like as a sitcom, I think I might have to make my own list of "What my life would be like as a sitcom"!
    inabentonworld.blogspot.com

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  13. I would watch if you had a reality show, I would probably show up at your doorstep unexpected and you would not be able to get rid of me. :)

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  14. These are all hilarious reasons!

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  15. I like the structure of your post !
    I havent seen any like that with the campaign

    Im from linqia

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  16. I was laughing all through this post! I am right there with you on sleeping in and being naked all the time!

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  17. Yes! One less person I have to compete again for my show.

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  18. Hilarious!

    xxoo

    www.culturedthreads.blogspot.com

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  19. Oh boy, I love me some Honey Boo Boo!

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  20. If you like reality TV, you've got to watch Pretty Wicked Moms. It's awful until the girls start to grow on you! When the "Queen Bee" went home to Mississippi and went mud-riding, I couldn't help but like her!
    (complete coincidence that we're both from MS...I don't know her)
    Funny show though!

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  21. If I had a reality show the whole world would be like WTF? actually I should do a hidden camera show.. what the people of Alabama do with their time. GOLD!

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  22. So question, are u nude around ours boys? I just want to make sure I'm not the only nudist that feels its only nature.

    Have u watched Pretty Wicked Moms on LMN?

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  23. Actually, your idea of a reality tv show sounds incredible!!

    I think you should go for it :P

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  24. Oh my gosh, PLEASE have a reality TV show! Or at least post more videos here. :-)

    Sarah @ Life As Always

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  25. Ha Ha You would so have all of us crazy bloggers watching you. :) And thanks, now you have that song in my head.

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  26. I'd totally watch your reality show!!

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