Sh*t My Kid Says

11.19.2013


gunner: I hate these pink pants.
me: they aren't pink, they are light maroon.
gunner: huh? what is maroon?
me: maroon is an offset of pink. a distant cousin of sorts.
gunner: I hate these pink pants!

me: before I met daddy I lived in a house by myself.
gunner: you lived by yourself? you didn't have any friends?
me: I had friends but I lived alone.
gunner: oh. that's really sad.

as I was styling gunner's hair before school:
gunner: I don't want a mohawk.
me: too bad. you have to make yourself look presentable before you go places.
gunner: but you never make yourself look pretty before we go places?

colt: werkjdsf lfdv lzdfkgjubfdgh dkjebzx
me: what?
colt: oisdfb wiu fkjhsdbwe vkjzsd
me: what??
gunner: he said he wants some juice and a waffle.
me: oh. ok. thanks.

gunner: can we fly my kite today?
me: no, it's too windy.
the next day...
gunner: can we fly my kite today?
me: no, it's not windy enough.
gunner: mom now I think you are just being lazy.

colt: I'm mad at you!
me: that's ok.
colt: I don't like you!
me: that's ok too.
colt: I don't want you to be my mom!
me: haaaaaa!!! sucka you go boy! you go find someone else who wants to be your mom and tend to your snot nose and wipe your butt. good luck!

me: so gunner, what did you learn in school today?
gunner: I'm not telling you.
me: ok. so what was your snack today?
gunner: I'm not telling you.
me: ok. so we have to stop by Target and I don't want to hear a word out of you.
gunner: we learned about the republic of Mississippi and how many stars there are in the sky and I chose chocolate pudding as my snack now do I get to pick out at a toy?



Just a day in the life.



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31 comments:

  1. Don't you just love how honest kids are?

    Heidi’s Wanderings

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  2. so adorable and funny, love the one about finding a new mom- sarcasm, so funny!:)

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  3. Oh your boys kill me with your cuteness!!! hilarious. :) xx

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  4. *their cuteness! Not that you're not cute too :/ *awkward* haha

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  5. Oh my goodness, kids say the funniest things!

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  6. haha! That is hilarious! I still die over the video with the pen! whaaa whaa da f___ was that? haha

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  7. you have such a cute family!

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  8. They are just too cute!!Love the last one, he wised up fast!

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  9. Bwahahaha..."mom now i think you are just being lazy"...i die!

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  10. hahaha kids they sure are funny!! i about died when gunner said that you never make yourself pretty to go places. lol

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  11. I love that he thinks it's "really sad" that you lived alone, WITHOUT Dad. Imagine the horror!!?

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  12. Haha these are great! Working with kids I hear the craziest things!

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  13. Your kids are absolutely hilarious! They sound so sweet and so ornery!

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  14. gunner does say the funniest things.... "granny call me when you get to work so I know you made it safely" that one still kills me!

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  15. Those boys sound hilarious! My son told me "Mom, I love you. Wanna know why? Because you're not a b*tch." Well thanks man.

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  16. hahah! The kite one had me laughing out loud!

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  17. This is just all kinds of funny!

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  18. hahaha priceless! I love all the random stuff kids say, too cute! I love that Gunner translated Colts request for you, too funny! Thank goodness for older brothers!

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  19. I LOVE this! So great. I nanny for a 4 year old (almost 5) and she says some of the most awesome things. And sometimes not so much, but I appreciate the honesty:)

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  20. Ah, your boys are so sweet!

    I can't wait for these types of convos with my son =)

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  21. I just want to borrow them for one day! You can come with them, we'll go on an outting and do something fun-- like the Zoo. One of those IG pics that you posted.. Coltie looked like a little bunny. Cuteness overload.

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  22. Kids are hilarious, they say the funniest things.

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  23. I can only imagine the laughs I would get from living at your house! You can post these posts all the time...I think they are amazing.

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