5.31.2012

Me? A liberal mom?!

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I think we all know where I stand on the political side. I don't try to hide the fact that I'm a conservative Republican, that I think hard work should be rewarded and that those who stand in the way of that should be, well, poof!

But this isn't about politics. This is about parenting.

Gunner loves me to paint his nails. He doesn't care what color, he just sees me doing it and wants the same. Fortunately, I have convinced him that black is "badass" so it's his first choice. I don't care one bit that he wants his nails painted. I don't see it as feminine, I see it as, well, badass.

The other day I was at the pool, and Gunz was talking to a lady and she noticed his nails. We are semi-acquantances, and as she oohed and ahhed over the black (she liked it) she turned to me and said all innocent like, "I never knew you were so liberal."

Sca-reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!

Say what? Oh no no. You are mistaken. Me? Liberal? I drive a gas guzzling SUV (safety reasons, don't try to argue with me), I have a NObama bumper sticker in plain sight and oh yeah, I have a boob job.

Liberals don't get boob jobs.

Some bs about "being happy with who you are."

psssshhhhhhh.

There was nothing happy about my double a's.

Anyway.

I guess when people see a little boy with black nails and a fauxhawk, they just assume the mom is some tree-hugging gypsy with a kumbaya swagger. And double a's.

(Side note: please understand. I am not judging tree-huggers. To each their own. I just am not one. I also am not judging little teats. #biggerisbetter End side note.)

But even though I believe boys should be boys, that they should get down and dirty and jump out of tree houses, and as much as I hope and pray that they grow up to be republicans, I realized that in some ways, I am kinda...liberal...ish.

Exhibit A: black nails on boys. Apparently that's "out there" a bit.

Exhibit B: My boys are almost always naked. No clothes, no problem is my mantra. I take them to the store barefoot. I can't wait for my youngest' hair to grow long again so I can put it in a ponytail. If they pick out a pink sippy cup instead of the superman one? Who cares. I don't have those stereotype ideas in my head.

Exhibit C: I believe in letting kids imaginations run wild. Giving them the space and freedom to choose what they want to do. Just sitting back and watching them evolve, grow, learn. Trial and error, I'm a big believer in. Letting them make mistakes so they can choose better next time.

And then there's the flip side.

Exhibit A: I am a super strict parent. My kids will obey me, they will obey authority and they will suffer the consequences if they don't do so. They don't get a vote, I am the boss. I will not raise a spoiled brat. My kids will know the value of a dollar, they will know that in order to get something, they must work hard for it. There are no hand-outs over here at the Smith household.

Exhibit B: When it comes to kids' sports, I don't believe that "everything should be fair." That everyone should get a fair amount of play time. I believe that the best should play the most because guess what, it is about winning. I don't think that second or god forbid third place should get a trophy. Second place is the first loser in my book. If they want to play bad enough, hopefully this gives them the incentive to practice their ass off and work harder.

Exhibit B-a: With that same mentality, my kids will always know what it means to be a graceful loser. You throw a fit because you lost? Bad move buddy, bad move.

Exhibit C: Grow a pair. Be a man. Take care of your woman. Be the provider, protector and knight in shining armor. (Alas, we are talking years into the future here.)

So what am I? Liberal parent? Conservative?

I guess it just comes down to doing what you feel is right for your kids.

And for me, black nails and fauxhawks that eventually turn into mohawks is where it's at.

Peace.

56 comments:

  1. Have no fear: my aunt, a libertarian, used to mohawk her boys hair & raised them to be their own person. Both her boys grew up to be happy, hard working men (and republicans)! It sounds like you are doing a great job and that you have happy children!

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  2. Well said! My boys are always naked and my youngest has pink toes... Happy Boys = Happy hard working men...

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  3. Sounds like you're doing a good job to me :)

    I have no kids {and not positive I ever will} but if I ever do, I'll probably be pretty similar to you. I'll run a tight ship, but I refuse to over-shelter them or thwart their self-expression.

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  4. Seriously, I love you! Your tough about the stuff that'd actually matters and who gives a shit about he nails or hair or clothing. Your not telling them how to "look" so they will more than likely be very self-confident men with strong morals and ethics :) & hopefully, republican.

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  5. I am INLOVE with your blog!!!! I am having a baby in September first one (boy) and you have the greatest advice. What people are scared to say you say it, love it!! Keep it up lady!

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  6. I completely agree!! Do what's right by your kids..not what's right by either party. You son is one awesome kid cuz he has one awesome mama!

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  7. I really love this post. I love the fact that you don't let your political beliefs get in the way of letting your kids figure out who they are, yet you are making sure they understand they can't just do whatever they want and how to be a top notch citizen :) Really, I think it's some of the best balanced parenting I've ever heard of! It always seems to be one extreme or another. Awesome job momma!
    ps - love the black nails, it's definitely badass!

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  8. I see nothing wrong with children expressing themselves. I love your sons nails and mohawk!

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  9. I have probably said this before but I LOVE you and your blog...you just keep it real and honestly I learn form you....to let things go and let my kid be a kid and to just be. You are a great mama and your boys are surely loved. They will find their way and grow up to be great men with a mama like you!

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  10. if I have boys, I'll be the same way with them. my husband gets into my nailpolish all the time in the summer and he wears pink flip flops "cuz he can" I couldn't care less because I know who he is. we'll be the same with our kids. Be who you want to be.. oh and the hubs wears a mohawk to work when he lets his hair grow out.. did I mention he's a teacher?! lol the kids love him :)

    and I totally love you and your blog :) btw I used to want girls when we have kids but after seeing you with your boys on your blog.. you make me want boys :)

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  11. I.love.this.post. <3

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  12. I don't think you are either, I think you are just parenting in a balanced way to make your kids balanced also!

    I think it is great, you are strict on the things that really matter and that make them a good person/citizen... the other stuff, that doesn't even matter!

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  13. Love your beliefs...it's how it should be....

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  14. I was told by my favorite (and VERY conservative) teacher in highschool that I was the worst type of conservative. A liberal one. I'm still not sure what that is....or why its so bad.

    I'm a pretty strict parent, but as we've discussed before nudity is FINE with me. practically required at home.

    I have liberal negative a's,, but I'm rubbing pennies together to get me some conservative c's :)

    And all the other shiz you said? Well its right on Momma....which is why I love this blog....and make other people read it so they will laugh and giggle as much I do.

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  15. I am a far left, very liberal socialist Democrat and we do many similar things. Parenting and politics don't mix, so it's good you go with the flow and do as you please! That's funny someone commented how you might be liberal! I must say I never thought about it before this post but all my friends with fake boobs are Republican. Interesting. Thanks for the food for thought, ha!

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  16. Liberals don't get boob jobs? That's just silly.

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  17. You just summed up my parenting views perfectly! I think you're doing everything just right. And you, a liberal? Pshhh.... just well rounded ;)

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  18. I REALLY really LOVE this post!
    spot.on.

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  19. Hilarious. I love this post. I also think that kids should just be kids. These parents who have all of these weird rules and theories about child rearing end up hurting their kids more. Also? I think that when they get a little older (like 18 older) they should be allowed to have a beer at home with their parents because then they won't go buck wild in college because drinking isn't some big mystery. It cracks me up about how some parents think all of these things will turn their kids into a genius. How about just let them be kids and play in the dirt.

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  20. You and I? One in the same.

    And my husband and I are super conversatives in a land of liberals. Its so bad in Canada, we are so far left it's painful.

    But my 11 week old son has a fauxhawk. And his 65 year old grandparents driver motorcycles. And I'm getting a boob job. Amen, bitch.

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  21. When I grow up, I wanna be just like you! Seriously, I totally stand by your side ALL THE WAY - Let the kids define themselves because if they don't, who they really are will show later in life.

    Awesome blog post! Awesome black nails... and I love'd your black nails in your instagram energy drink picture the other day. They were rockN'.

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  22. ... && I would have never known you have had a boob job. They look great! {go ahead and blush}

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  23. BWAHA!

    1. She obvs doesn't read your blog, which is her first mistake :)

    2. I can't wait to get my boob job :)

    3. I agree his black nails are badass.

    And that's all the wisdom I have to share on this post, ha! Love ya!

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  24. Why are you so awesome??!? I'm not joking when I say I think you should write a book on parenting. I think if more parents focused on the important things- like you mentioned: obeying, not being a sore-loser, working hard ,etc etc.. and less on stupid stuff like pink vs superheros, things would be going a better direction!

    My point is: Write a book before I pop out a kid in the next few years so I can study up!!

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  25. I absolutely LOVE your blog and your mindset in raising your kids. I hate when people try to throw everyone into a certain box. I hate labels...I am a gun in my purse carrying Democrat who thinks that everyone should work for what they want and need in life. But, I hate the label that some might give me. This was a great post!!

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  26. I think one of the worst parts of our society is adherence to core party lines. Honestly, it’s utterly ridiculous. You don’t have to be 100% stereotypical Republican nor do you have to be 100% stereotypical Democrat even if you feel you sway one way or the other. In my opinion, one of the travesties of our nation and its efforts to move forward is the pride issue when it comes to party lines. You shouldn’t be conservative or liberal because you are a Republican or Democrat. You should be Republican or Democrat because you are conservative or liberal. I definitely sway one way however; I talk mess about both sides because they’re both convoluted with party-line pride.

    With that said, I think it’s wonderful that your parenting style is child-first rather than politically driven. As it d*mn well should. I love that you let your kids be who they are. I’m a firm believer in that notion. I’m also a FIRM believer in punishing errant behavior. My Dad was tough, tough, tough on me and though I hated it at the time, it really helped me to not be a spoiled brat. When I see kids talking back to their parents while the parents do nothing, it irks me.

    Gotta say though, lots of my friends have boob jobs and they’re both Repub and Dem. So I call false on that one!

    Thanks for another great read my NW neighbor. :)

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  27. I'm gonna go ahead and say that our conversation last week inspired this post :) Can we have another? K, thanks, bye.

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  28. i'm liberal ... i'd get a boob job if i needed one. luckily i don't ;)

    when i was younger my parents did not allow us to wear polish. so that is maybe why i'm a bit obsessed with it now. i can see their faces now if i ever painted a future son's of mine finger nails. makes me laugh out loud right now.

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  29. I love this! I do not have kids yet but have always been a huge fan of letting to do what they want (within safety reasons), letting them dress how they want, and just being a kid.

    If your kids are happy and safe (as they appear to be in all of your adorable instagram photos of them) then who stinkin cares!

    Love it!

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  30. I love this, I love all your posts. Supermom in my book!

    xo

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  31. NOBAMA!!!! lets go! who cares if you paint your kids nails..that was such a dumb comment and honestly its really none of that ladies business. i love black nails!

    xo

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  32. Parenting is Definitely about doing what works for
    You and your family. The unfortunate part of that is we have to interact with the broader society but as long as law abiding citizens are being raised...do you!!

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  33. Rave - First "There was nothing happy about my double-a's"....i DIED! haha

    and secondly - I think you focus on the things that are important with your kids. I mena, I think teaching your kids about winning and losing and treating women with respect is way more important than making decisions over nail polish. That's just being a kid - they love fake tattoos and glittery thing!

    Whatever the "label" - I think you're an awesome mom AND your political observations are AMAZING!!

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  34. damnit raven...now i want a boob job.

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  35. Whatever kind of mom you are, I think you are a great one! : )

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  36. Screw parties. You're just being a good mom.

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  37. That's 2 for 2 Raven Smith! Ha!! I was recently called "Liberalish" too! AS IF!!

    As for your parenting style, I think you are just a hip momma that is teaching her kids what's important!

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  38. I just see you as a "Badass" mom ;) I seriously HATE that they have begun giving EVERY child a trophy. What the heck does that teach them? Sports may be for "fun" but they still learn a lot of life lessons in the process, and I don't think that entitlement should be one of them!!

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  39. _________________ hahaha! Raven, whatever shall we do with you???

    xx

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  40. I agree with you! I think all moms and dads need to do what is best for the individual child not what is "suggested" by everyone else. Its your child you know him best do what he needs not what everyone else wants you or expects you to do.

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  41. With a good Dad and a Mom who isn't trying to baby the heck out of them, they are going to turn into generous, strong men. They will be thankful, some day, that they know the value of a dollar, how to work hard, how to party harder, and that being barefoot and outside is the shiz.

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  42. I have such a girl-crush on you it's ridiculous! ;)

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  43. hahah omg i seriously love love love this post! from my perspective, i feel like the whole of america are liberal voters! i don't know why? but i am a strong conservative voter (in australia and uk anyway - i don't know enough about the ins and outs of -what seems like to me- very confusing politics in the US). So i just love how honest you are! SO so fricken refreshing!
    And I FEEL the exact fricken way about sports. i can't tell you how many times i wanted to shoot someone growing up playing girl sport! so annoying how it was all about fairness. it made me steam with anger haha!
    i just love your boys, and your family! you are an awesome mum! x

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  44. P.s when my family and i were in LA and we saw a MASSIVE SUV, we would cheer haha!

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  45. I hate labels. Love that your kids don't get a vote, because you're the boss. And the obeying thing, yes! Who gives a shit if they like pink? And I'm so over the "everything should be fair" shit. Umm, it's not how the world works, so why do we set kids up to fail by teaching them that things are fair?

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  46. you're such a badass and fun mom. its good not to keep your children in a bubble. let them express themselves and be who they want to be. you're awesome. oh and i want a boob job...maybe after the second baby. :P

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  47. Can you be my mom?? haha you are awesomeeee! Loved loved this post! And your little boys...I want to steal them!

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  48. Your double a's comment had me rolling. I found your blog through Friday letters. Glad I did. Love this post. Glad you speak your mind and aren't ashamed to do so!
    NObama

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  49. Libertarian stepmama with natural DDs here (lol) ... I think if kids are being raised right - learning to obey, respect, share, help, listen, etc - you know, the big stuff - it doesn't matter if they want to rock out some nail polish or a mohawk. Go on with your badass little selves, kids. Honestly, if the core values and lessons are there, why make parenting so serious? Life is hard enough without making it even harder by stressing out about everything.

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  50. As a teacher, I wish more parents were like you...focused on exactly what's important. :)

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  51. Ohhh muh gosh! Me and the fiance are trying to get pregnant and I have warned him about my uber strictness with a splash of wild child.. he's got to read this. I feel the exact same way, also.. I don't plan on making the same mistakes my parents made (which is the means to my being strict!).. I believe firmly that kids need the freedom to be kids and explore and evolve just as you do, but I also believe they need to know that their parents brought them into the world and they can take them out. Love this!!!

    ugottahavehart.blogspot.com

    PS- I would share this with all my mom friends but it's a secret that we are trying to get pregnant so I can't. Thank goodness I can come back and find this!!!! xo

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