If you really knew my husband

9.10.2012

A couple weeks ago, I did one of those wildy popular "if you really knew me" posts. So one night, as I was sipping on a vodka soda watching Big Brother, I thought to myself, "self, you should do one of those posts, but about Rob."

Genius, I thought to myself.

I look over at Rob, give him my best come hither eyes, and say, "hey Rob, what is something people would know if they really knew you?"

His immediate response?

"Raven, I'm not playing your stupid blogging game."

me: "it's not a stupid game. Please, just answer the question."

No.

Seriously? Why not?

No.

Fine then. If you're gonna be like that, I'll do it myself. And so I did. I sent out a mass text message to those who really know him well, i.e. my sisters, mom, and his closest nephew, asking them "what would people know if they really knew Rob?"

Below are their answers (which are pretty accurate) along with a few peppered in from yours truly. 

If you really knew my husband...



* you would know that he's a hard worker. If he lost his business today, he would be out tomorrow making money somehow. Laziness is definitely not an option for him.

* if he's your friend, he will do anything for you. Anything.

* he is a very good son-in-law. (thanks mom)

* he is passionate about his boys. 

* he likes his home to look like a model home. (thanks again mom, for bringing up a very sensitive subject between us. Talk about a bone of contention. Btw, it never looks like a model home.)

* he has a very dry sense of humor (hence why I slept with him married him)

* he drinks Coors Light and Crown Royal religiously. I have never seen him order anything else while out at a bar. Ever. 

* he draws epic pictionary drawings. And by epic, I mean one time his word to draw was "chin." And his game partner couldn't guess it. That's how "epic" his drawing was. Chin!!

* he doesn't care much for pro sports but lives and breathes for college sports. In his own words, "pro athletes are spoiled rotten babies. You guys make over 10 million a year so quit whining."

* he hates when girls wear tons of makeup. When I asked what he thought about that he said, "Raven, don't ask stupid questions when you already know the answer."

* his dream girl is (in his exact words) "any gal with a tight ass, sweet t*ts, good body and over the age of 24." I would comment on this but I don't think I need to. Side eye.

* when I asked him what he thought about my blogging, he said he "didn't like it." He said I spend too much time on the computer and that "work comes first, play comes later." When I told him that I partly think of blogging as work because I make a little bit of money, he replied "oh yay, you made enough this month that maybe we can all go out and eat at McDonalds."

* did I mention he has a very dry sense of humor?

And finally, just like last time, I turned to my sister Boobie, who knows me very well and knows my husband almost just as well. 


Sorry about the blur-out above. I am pretty much an open book here but that is definitely not something any of ya'll need, or want, to see. 

The naked coyote story deserves it's own post.

And you can read how he almost made out with my sister HERE.

58 comments:

  1. Lol great post. I can never get my husband to do one of these blogging game post.

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  2. Not going to lie, I really want to know what's blurred out,. I've studied it pretty hard.

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  3. Ha! I think I know what the blur says...but I could be totally wrong.

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  4. This post is hilarious! You should make a link up for this! Jer would never play along either, but I would answer the questions for him. Just like real life! HAHAHA!

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  5. Wow - I feel like I know your husband so well now!

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  6. My bf feels the same about pro athletes too.

    Sweet sense of humor :)

    xoxo

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  7. We feel the same way about college and pro athletes.

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  8. Ah! I'm pretty sure I know what the blur says, but I could be totally wrong! You have inspired me to do one of these one day!

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  9. Does it say "You shave his butt" ? I think so. Haha

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    Replies
    1. I couldn't get that second word, thanks for filling it in for me! I was so curious about what kinda butt action the mister gets!!

      C'mon Raven, don't leave us hangin'!!!

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    2. That's what I read too! haha..

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  10. I totally agree on pro athletes. Smart man.

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  11. Yeah - if I asked Michael to do this his answers about the questions AND about my blogging probably would have been much aligned to your hubby's.

    And now we're all dying to know what the blur says...thanks for the punishment!! LOL

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  12. Rob has the same thoughts as my hubby about blogging. Gah, men.

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  13. I think all men think blogging is stupid. I don't get these Texas "blogging husbands" who are all besties and stuff. I don't buy it.

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  14. Haha, Jared is slowly coming around to the idea of blogging. Although he's always all, "tell me when you have 10 thousand followers" bah!

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  15. Sounds like a good man! I completely agree on the sports front too, college ball is where it's at!

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  16. I don't see my husband wanting to do one of these things either. However, I enjoyed reading about yours

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  17. I figured out the blur and I'm laughing my ass off...but totally not surprised. Why do guys have us do such wierd things for them?!? I feel like I know your hubby really well, because he sounds A LOT like mine. I love reading your blog Raven...you kill me!!

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  18. This made me laugh so hard and inspired me to do the same on my blog today. My husband would have given me the same response. He doesn't get the whole blog thing, although he DID agree to go on a double blate with me last month, which surprised me. :)

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  19. Things would have been so much easier had he just agreed to play your game! lol. I bet his dry sense of humor is pretty entertaining!

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  20. Yea, he sounds like your perfect match. :)

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  21. LOL! I think I know what the blur says, too!!!!

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  22. When I did the "If you really knew me" post.. I saw girls asking their boyfriends & husbands for help and they had really cute responses. I asked my boyfriend for help and right off the bat he gave me inappropriate answers and then when I told him it's for a blog post he told me he doesn't blog so he can't help.. bahaha, men.

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  23. God I love this post! Ur hubby is a riot! My bf loves giving me boob&butt grabs in public too haha! And I sooooo agree - professional athlete are such winers & I think they make waaay to much!! XO

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  24. Hahahah. Oh my goodness. I can read what is blurred out. So hilarious.

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  25. Coors + Crown. He is a dream come true ;-) This was an awesome post, as usual!

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  26. OMG!! I was gonna do one of these on MY hubby!! haha I haven't done one for me yet but thought his would be "more interesting!" haha

    I am DYING to know the blurred part too!! haha

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  27. you're hilarious and I hope to be half as funny as you when i grow up. ps: your comment on my blog made my day yesterday!

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  28. Not only do I love reading your posts, but the comments are equally hilarious. Thank you for making me (and Doug, because I always make him read your posts) laugh every single day!

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  29. I thought it was you shaved his balls lol

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  30. hahaha oh Rob. I hope to meet him someday
    umm so would he like you to clean the house over blogging? Something tells me my future hubs and I are going to run into this same situation eventually. I'll just pour him another drink, hire a house keeper, and move on. Good plan?

    p.s. I couldn't get your blog to open yesterday , and I wanted to throw my computer across the room.

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  31. So cute!! I love that you took the time to add him. So cute!

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  32. Too funny. I think it's almost better he didn't participate. This way the answers are honest and his humour still comes out strong.

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  33. This is too funny! My boyfriend is an avid Coors Light drinker too :D

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  34. I feel like the blurred out part says you shave his butt. i have a lot of questions for how that works. xooxxoo

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  35. My hubby doesn't like girls wearing tons of make up either! That makes me happy, because I hate wearing makeup all the time. I am definitely not surprised by his dry sense of humor (yes, I already surmised it from following your blog), because I can't imagine you being with a guy that didn't have one. You are a wild one and only an intelligent, sarcastic, and masculine man could win your heart!

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  36. Your posts seriously make my day. So funny. I want to do this with my husband and I feel like he would have alot of the same answers!

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  37. and i second the shave butt comment.

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  38. our husbands would get along great!

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  39. Why do you (insert blurred out words here)? Lol

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  40. hahah wait- you shave his butt? so funny- that blog post practically writes itself!

    Love all of his responses to you, my boyfriend would respond similarly.

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