Shit My Husband Says

4.29.2014


Rob: I have an idea for a blog post for you.

Me: what.

Rob: Well, I'm sitting there at the stoplight, and you know how when you sit at stoplights, you don't make eye contact with the other drivers next to you? Like, it's kind of uncomfortable to make eye contact?

Me: ok.

Rob: And then when the light turns green and everyone starts driving again, if you and the person next to you is going the same speed, one of you will usually speed up, because it's like, uncomfortable to be right next to someone else?

Me: ok.

Rob: That's it.

Me: How do you expect me to write a decent blog post about that?

Rob: I don't know, you can spin it or something or whatever it is you do.

Me: That seriously is a terrible idea for a blog post.

Rob: Oh, but you writing about your boobs and ass all the time is good blog material, right?

Me: YES.

********************

Me: Hey, remember when you took that mexican viagra and all it did was give you a massive headache for 12 straight hours?

Rob: Yes. Why?

Me: No reason. I just freaking love that story.

********************

Me: Remember when we used to make out like teenagers?

Rob: Remember when you didn't suck the ever living life out of my soul?

Me: Yeah, I actually do. Guess you shouldn't have sold that Mercedes convertible now, huh?

********************

Me: Can you buy me another Mercedes convertible?

Rob: No.

Me: Why?

Rob: Because.

Me: Because why?

Rob: Raven stop asking me stupid questions.

Me: Well actually it's not a stupid question. You lured me in with a Mercedes convertible and then once you got me pregnant, you sold it.

Rob: I sold it because you were pregnant and we needed a bigger car. And I bought you an SUV.

Me: Well I'm not pregnant anymore and I want a convertible.

Rob: Bite me.

********************

And if you missed it or don't follow me on instagram… a quick convo between me and the hubs...



Circle of life.

#truth

25 comments:

  1. Bahahahahahaha I saw that convo pic on FB, but I didn't know that really was between the two of you! I have a post like this of shit Will says, these are ALWAYS a great idea.

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  2. LMFAO I want you to take me to costco and buy me stuff!!!!

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  3. remember when you first had the convertible and we were driving it around and stopped for gas and couldn't figure out how to open the cover to get to the gas cap? ;)

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  4. exactly why you need another convertible

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  5. I'm a new reader, and I just wanted to tell you that you have the most beautiful name ever!

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  6. Hilarious. At least he's trying on the blog front now? :)

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  7. Yes, you need another convertible. Duh!

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  8. Your conversations are freaking hilarious!

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  9. kill me dead.
    SO damn funny!

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  10. Hello i was on the verge of losing my husband After your love spell I found he still loved me. You advised me to speak to him. He refused to open up. I asked you about casting a spell. You explained the process. Within 2 days his mood completely changed, his outlook improved 100 percent and we made plans for the future.drlwisdomspelltemple@gmail.com

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  11. So fucking funny. Love a woman with your type of sense of humor! Hoping to be as cool as you one day!
    www.emilyahlbum.com

    ReplyDelete
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