Gunner: Can I say bad words?
Me: No.
Gunner: Well Tanner cusses, I hear'd him. So if he can, then I can.
Me: That's bullshit. And if you say that again, I'll pop your ass.
Gunner: Can we go to McDonalds and get a happy meal?
Me: No.
Gunner: Whyyyyyyyyyy?
Me: Because McDonalds will kill you.
Gunner: He will?!
Me: I mean the chicken nuggets will kill you.
Gunner: They will?!
Me: Yes.
Gunner: But…the chicken nuggets are so…small.
Me: YOU EAT THEM YOU DIE.
Colt: Mom?
Me: What.
Colt: Mom??
Me: What.
Colt: Mommy?
Me: WHAT.
Colt: Ummm…mom? Mom?
Me: My God WHAT kid spit it out!!!!
Colt: Nuffing. I mean, I just love you.
Me: Oh. Thanks.
Colt: That's all I wanted to say.
Me: (hangs head in shame)
Gunner: Today in school we learned about fairness.
Me: And what did you learn about being fair?
Gunner: That we all have a job to do and it's our job to do our own job and we shouldn't expect anyone else to do our job for us because we need to do our own job.
Me: Damn I love Republican teachers.
Gunner: I want to play soccer.
Me: Soccer is boring.
Gunner: You're boring.
Me: No, watching you play soccer would be boring.
Gunner: Watching you watch Dr. Phil all day is boring.
Me: Touche. Soccer it is.
Colt: Mommy, I'm a kitty.
Me: Awww. I love kitties.
Colt: Mom, kitty wants a cookie.
Me: Son, mommy wants a Ferrari.
Gunner: Mommy, what's breakfast?
Me: What do you mean?
Gunner: Some of the kids in my class talk about breakfast.
Me: Breakfast is a fable. It's make-believe. Breakfast is for kids whose mommies get up at the ass crack of dawn and make them nasty lumpy pancakes and give them gag-inducing pulpy juice and then those mommies are monsters all day long because they are over-stressed and over-tired and are just bad, evil people.
Gunner: Is that why you are the best mommy ever? Because you sleep 'til lunchtime?
Me: God bless you child.
Best round yet.
ReplyDeleteOMG DYING AT MY DESK! HA! Thanks girl for daily dose of laughter.
ReplyDeleteThank god it's not just my child that doesn't eat breakfast. I feel terrible about it but shit there's no fucking time in the morning!
ReplyDeleteHAHA! This made my day! I think we need to be friends
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like these have to be made up, because your kids are too smart. lol
ReplyDelete"Watching you watch Dr. Phil is boring." Best comeback ever by a kid.
ReplyDeleteThis is more like shit Raven says
ReplyDeletecrying!
ReplyDeleteThe breakfast bit is killing me. So funny.
ReplyDeleteI about just pissed myself!!! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHa! Me: did the boys have breakfast? You: not the one that went to school today
ReplyDeleteI am dying. This is my favorite one to date. More like "Shit Mommies Say"
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis is FANTASTIC!
ReplyDeleteThis is not really related to your post subject, but a previous one to the woman who said that being a stay at home mom was a pathetic job. Watch this video...
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/HB3xM93rXbY
Love it. :P Kids are so smart/clever/funny.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to Vlog with these little McNugget ;)
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny -Hanna Lei
ReplyDeletebahahah! The soccer/Dr Phil one is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Both you and your kids haha
ReplyDeleteIt's posts like these that make me wonder why you don't already have your own show. TLC get on thisss.
ReplyDeletebirkin bag, celine handbags, baseball bats, wedding dresses, mont blanc, canada goose outlet, soccer jerseys, uggs outlet, new balance shoes, north face outlet, ferragamo shoes, ugg, ugg pas cher, moncler, soccer shoes, reebok outlet, moncler, ugg australia, chi flat iron, nfl jerseys, moncler outlet, jimmy choo outlet, instyler, ugg boots, canada goose jackets, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, giuseppe zanotti, canada goose, iphone 6 cases, herve leger, canada goose uk, hollister, ghd, moncler, north face jackets, lululemon outlet, canada goose, beats by dre, p90x, bottega veneta, ugg boots, timberland boots, air max, canada goose, insanity workout, asics running shoes, rolex watches, babyliss pro, marc jacobs
ReplyDelete1577meiqing
ReplyDeletelouis vuitton
lv outlet
red timberland boots
prada
abercrombie store
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors
hollister
oakley vault
coach outlet store online
gucci
jordan 11 concord
ray ban sunglasses
discount christian louboutin
coach factory outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
soccer jerseys
coach factory outlet
mulberry handbags
coach outlet store online
hollister clothing
chanel bags
michael kors outlet online
ray ban uk
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors
discount oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
michael kors
christian louboutin
yoga pants
nike air max
cheap jerseys
jordan 13
christian louboutin outlet
polo ralph lauren
oakley store
abercrombie
ray ban outlet
20151027xiaodaige
ReplyDeletechristian louboutin outlet
ugg boots
cheap ray ban sunglasses
tory burch outlet online
rolex watches,rolex,watches for men,watches for women,omega watches,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,rolex replica,rolex watch,cartier watches,rolex submariner,fake rolex,rolex replica watches,replica rolex
rolex uk
tory burch outlet
michael kors wallet sale
ray ban sunglasses
salomon shoes
nfl jerseys
north face outlet
cheap ugg boots
michael kors factory online
michael kors handbags
tiffany and co
chicago blackhawks
louis vuitton outlet online
lebron shoes
herve leger dresses
north face outlet
nike free uk
cheap nfl jersey
nike air huarache
hermes birkin bag
dallas cowboys
canada goose outlet
miami dolphins
ferragamo outlet
miami heat
atlanta falcons
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ralph lauren outlet
ugg boots clearance,ugg australia,uggs on sale,ugg slippers,uggs boots,uggs outlet,ugg boots,ugg,uggs
ray-ban sunglasses
giuseppe zanotti outlet
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp
ReplyDeleteĐịa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại cầu giấy
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợpTại từ liêm
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại thanh xuân
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại hà đông
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại long biên
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại nguyễn chính thanh đống đa
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại minh khai hai bà trưng
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại bắc ninh
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại hải phòng
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại tphcm
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại quận 3
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại thủ đức
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại đà nẵng
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại biên hòa
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại đồng nai
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại nam định
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại thái bình
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại bắc giang
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại vĩnh phúc
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại thái nguyên
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại quảng ninh
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại hải dương
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại hưng yên
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại hà nam
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại ninh bình
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại nghệ an
Địa chỉ học kế toán tổng hợp Tại vũng tàu
Hướng dẫn lập bảng cân đối kế toán theo mẫu b01
This article is interesting and useful. Thank you for sharing. And let me share an article about health that God willing will be very useful. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteCara Menyembuhkan Nyeri Punggung
Pengobatan Alami untuk Tipes
Cara Mengobati Kuku Cantengan
Solusi atasi sakit kepala Vertigo
Cara Menyembuhkan Sakit Maag Kronis
Cara Menghilangkan Stretch mark
Thank you very helpful article
ReplyDeleteCara Mengobati Benjolan di leher
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Typus
Cara Mengobati bisul
Obat Benjolan Dimata
Obat Biang Keringat Pada Bayi Anak-anak dan dewasa
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Gondongan Dengan Bahan Alami
the article is very petrifying, hopefully it can be useful and an important lesson
ReplyDeleteKhasiat dan Manfaat Sayuran
Obat Kelenjar Air Liur Yang Membengkak
Cara Menghaluskan Wajah Seperti Sudah Operasi
Cara Mengobati Campak Dengan Daun Jarak
Cara Mengobati Anyang-anyangan
Obat Mata Trakoma
Continue to Perbiki his blog to get a good blog !!
ReplyDeleteCara Mengobati Penyakit Gula Darah
Cara Mengobati Jamur Mulut
Cara Mengobati Telinga Berair
Pengobatan Epilepsi Dengan Bahan Alami
Cara Mengobati Rematik
Pengobatan Penyakit Kanker Payudara
Very Nice Blog Updation Keep Updating !!
ReplyDeletePengobatan Kelenjar Tiroid
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Ambeien
Pengobatan Penyakit Sinusitis
Pengobatan Varises dengan Bahan Alami
Obat Radang Dinding Rahim
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Kencing Nanah
Thank you for sharing the information. See also information from us through the following article! Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteObat Herbal Penghilang Keloid
Cara Mengatasi Gatal di Selangkangan
Obat Bell's Palsy Herbal