On Blog Controversy (Specifically Mine)

3.03.2013


I've been thinking of writing this post for a while, but I wanted to make sure everything I was feeling came across how I intended it to in my head, and I didn't want to leave anything out nor speak too soon. So for the past few months, I have been writing things down as they came to me, and I finally feel I'm able to articulate exactly what it is I want to say, so I'm going to share that with you now.

Blog this, blog that, don't be too controversial yet don't be too boring, you don't like it, don't read it, it's my blog and I'll blog whatever I want to. That seems to be a running theme lately in this wonderful thing we call the blogging world. Everyone has an opinion, that's for sure, and how you run your blog is entirely up to you, and I'll definitely never try to tell you otherwise. Sh*t, I have enough problems as it is with my own.

Such as...

Blog controversy. If you've been a reader of mine for a while, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, so let's just start with the most controversial post I have ever written titled I Dress For Men. I wrote this post back in September of 2012, and I still regularly get comments from readers...mostly negative. Like, really really really negative. That post went semi-viral (it is my most viewed post to date) and at first, the comments I received were nice, respectful, sure some disagreed with me but nobody really crossed the line, and then, oh and then did the outrage begin. Some of the nastiest, most vile comments I have ever received started pouring in, to the tune of 200+. Go ahead, read them, I'll wait.

Not only that, but other bloggers were writing their own posts about me, telling people to contact my sponsors and voice their displeasure over what I had written, I'm sure with the intention and hope that those sponsors would drop me. (No one did, btw.) I was getting so much backlash, so much negativity directed towards me, I was being called the most nasty names and a question I kept getting asked was "why don't you moderate your comments to keep the nasty ones out?"

Here is why: this is my blog, and it is my choice what I choose to put on here. It is my choice to come across the way I do, to word my posts the way I do, and it is my choice to say whatever I want. And I think I owe it to my readers to comment whatever they want, even if it's negative. Just as I write uncensored and openly, I allow my comment section the same freedoms. (Again, this is how I choose to do things. Just because I do it this way doesn't mean it's wrong or right, it's just what works best for me.)

However, the question I got asked the most by far was "why don't you just take the post down?"

And here is why.

Because I have always, always said on this little space of the internet I call mine, that I try to be as real and authentic as I possibly can. I never want to come across as trying to be perfect, I never want others to think I am better then them, and if I make mistakes? I want my readers to see me admit it.

I wrote that post, I published that post, I owned that post and I stand by that post.

And I won't take it down because others disagree, are offended, or because it was received poorly. What would that make me? A coward? Hypocrite? Inauthentic? Three things I definitely do not want to be seen as.

What I can do, and what I will do, is admit when I am wrong. And in regards to the previously mentioned post, are there things I regret writing? Things I am now embarrassed about? Yes. I regret lumping all feminists in one big "men hate them all" category. I was trying to get a point of view across, and I f*cked that part up. Do I think some feminists have done great things for women and their progression? Absolutely. Do I think some feminists need to chill the f*ck out? Absolutely. Do I think some feminists give women a bad name, and on the topic of men, completely turn them off? Absolutely! Just like not all "mommas" are good people, not all Christians are good people and not all doctors are good people, not all feminists are good people nor do they help women and how we are perceived. Are there some feminists out there who do help women and their rights and also make fantastic wives and mothers? Absolutely. There are always bad seeds no matter what group of people we are talking about, and that is what I was trying to get across in my I Dress For Men post, however I can look back and admit how I wrote that part came off as offensive and poorly worded, and for that, I sincerely apologize. (I still stand by my opinion of cardigans, and that I still like to dress for men, and good for you if your opinion differs. If we were all the same, this would be a very boring world!)

Were parts of that post a mistake to publish? I think we can all agree that it was. But by taking it down, it's like pretending it was never there, that it never happened. However isn't that what life is all about? Making mistakes, admitting them and learning from them? What's that saying, "all my mistakes have made me stronger and into who I am today?"


I like to think so.


I have another part to this post, where I reference my second most controversial post of all time, written for a completely different reason, but since this was getting a little lengthy, I'm going to share that part with you tomorrow.


92 comments:

  1. I've been reading for a while and just started following recently. We don't agree on all things (obviously, since we're different people and I agree that life would be pretty darn boring without differences of opinion), but I respect your honesty and love your sense of humor. Keep the funny, honest, caring, crazy posts coming.

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  2. Such a great, genuine post for the blogging community. I'm a big fan of your blog, not necessarily because I agree with your viewpoints, but because I think you're a hilarious and witty writer. I remember reading that post that you reference here and being torn about what you had said since I value you as a blogger, and also because I identify as a feminist. I do, however, completely agree with everything you said in your concluding paragraphs within this post. Regardless of what title people bear, some folks are great and others not so much. I think all bloggers can look back on things they have written and wish that maybe it had been worded differently or expressed in a different light. Nevertheless I appreciate you staying true to your convictions.

    Also, your kids are adorable and I think I laughed at your haircut post for a sold five minutes ;)

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  3. You are authentic. Point blank why I love yah. Not enough bloggers are. :) keep it up girl!

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  4. Can I just say that you're my freaking idol now?! I read a bunch of the comments from your "I Dress For Men" post, and it shocks me how ridiculous people are these days! Your replies are hilarious and straight to the point with these "feminists". I thought feminism was celebrating and supporting the fact that we are strong and capable women? It does not mean putting down the men in our lives and saying that they should be less of a man so we can be more of a woman. One of the best things in life we can do as woman and future mothers is to raise amazing children who will become incredible additions to our society. Because don't we ultimately want a "better world"? That's how we can contribute! It all starts in the home!
    Yet again, I totally look up to you! Keep being your awesome self :)

    -Bri

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  5. I admire your honest posts! It's what keeps me so connected with you. I enjoy the laughs and topics you bring to the table. I also agree with "dawnie" that you have funny, honest, caring and crazy posts!! That's what I love about them!!
    I agree that our blog is our space to write what we feel at the moment & I wouldn't remove a post either!! <3, Amy

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  6. I'll take Breast Feeding Post for 500!

    (in regards to what tomorrow is gonna be about.)

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  7. Good for you for owning your mistakes. That's a hard thing to do and I appreciate that you're not taking the post down for the reasons that you are. We all have opinions good and bad, but that's why they are our opinions.

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  8. I love this post! It's very big of you to admit that you worded things wrong and to sit there and be able to take the way that some people were responding to you. I don't know why they think it makes them a better person to belittle you for your opinion. But you're so right for not deleting the post just because it gained negative attention. Can't wait to see what your second most controversial post is!

    Chloe
    http://rainbowsandhoneysuckle.blogspot.com/

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  9. Love this post. One of my fave things about your blog is you genuine-ness... even when I don't agree with your opinion on something. Actually, sometimes it's more entertaining reading a point of view different from my own. Kudos for leaving the post up, and double for apologizing. It takes balls to be your authentic self. I kind of have a girl crush on you after this one. Lol

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  10. I was once an "honest blogger" who blogged everything and anything...but I caved due to the snarky backlash of girls labeling just "mean" with my don't care attitude. Wish I was you and didn't stand down to all of that....
    Kudos my friend!

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  11. Awesome, you are just awesome. I will admit when I first read your Dressing For Men post I kind of turned my nose up, but the more I thought about it, who the f*ck am I to judge? I do my thing, you do you. The more I decided to just not care and let others be themselves and STOP judging, the more I saw how awesome people really are. I seriously applaud you and I think you have such an awesome outlook on life and I can't wait to keep reading! From my vodka glass to yours, cheers bitch, I love you.

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  12. I love this post. As with any group of people, there are some that do wonderful things for said group and some that make the group look terrible. I'm from the south, for goodness's sake! I'm still proud to be from here, but I know good and well that there are some ignorant ole farts around here who make us ALL look bad. I really appreciate what you said about not censoring your comments because you don't censor yourself. I respect that totally! I just never can understand why people feel the need to be so ugly and hateful about others and their personal opinions. I don't understand people sometimes... or really ever, now that I think about it. Rock on, Raven! Keep doing you!!

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  13. I applaud you for being honest with yourself and your readers. Awesome post. I also applaud you for not becoming like the other "big time bloggers" and falling into the category of doing fifty million giveaways and writing what they think their readers want to hear and about how perfect their life is... You keep your shit real. If I can give you a medal for that I would.

    at this point in the comment I want to write "GIRL POWER"... but I think it sounds really corny. LMAO

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  14. I'm brand new to your blog and I just admire your honesty and how you stay true to yourself and your opinions despite what other people say. Way to go!

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  15. Great post! I like that you write what you think, its a big part of the reason why I love reading your blog. I agreed with the I dress for men post. I too, dress for men and I agree with the fact that feminist do take things too far (not all, but most I have come into contact with really need to chill). Good for you for being graceful about the rude comments left, and being the bigger person

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  16. I love your blog!! And I am so proud for my boutique to be one of your sponsors this month!! Love your witty banter and your honesty!! Can't wait to keep following you and those adorable little boys of yours!

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  17. Love your blog to death Raven, but this post made me sad. Not for you, for me( I'm so selfish ;) ) I had taken down 30+ posts of mine from when I moved to Germany and was gonna live there for a year. My trip was shirt lived, I made a mistake moving there too soon, so I took a lot of my posts down thinking, "Lets just pretend I didn't go". I wish, at that time, I had the courage to leave them up an let my friends, family, and few followers see that I messed up, but I still learned so much from my experience.
    Now I'm thinking maybe I should somehow summarize them to get them back up. Anyway, love how honest you are! Thank you for being so open and real. :)

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  18. I don't think I've ever gotten genuinely nasty comment before (let alone the cyber bullying you're talking about), so I don't know how I would have reacted to a post of mine being treated like this, but I admire your integrity.

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  19. I am a new reader, and I am like a lot of the previous commenters: I don't agree with everything you say, but I love the way you write. Your "i dress for men" post is hilarious and is completely true (for at least all the men that I know). I respect your internet space, and I will keep on reading. Besides, controversy is fun. P.S. I have ditched cardigans, polka dots, and lipstick since being with my boyfriend over the past two years. I can't give up my topknot though; it's just too damn convenient on lazy hair days. P.P.S. I have stopped reading other blogs because they are predictable, repetitive, uninspiring, and never get into nitty-gritty discussions. Your blog has none of those traits. Keep on keepin' on.

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  20. Agreed! I definitely do not think you should take it down. It's an interesting read, and the comments make it even more so. Personally I found the original post entertaining/funny & I think its cool that you left the comments up! (Just found the post from the link on Living in Yellow)


    http://somesnapshots.wordpress.com/

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  21. I think that its fantastic that you don't moderate your comments. Its not something that a lot of bloggers do especially not ones who write about the kind of things that you do. I don't think that I could take all the nasty comments! I totally agree with not deleting a post though. I think it would be going back a little on what you believe to do that -Hanna

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  22. The reason I love your blog so much is because you don't hold back. You share the good and the bad. There are so many lifestyle blogs that are always so happy and never say anything that would offend someone or something that someone would disagree with. It's not real to me and nothing against bloggers like that, but I don't care to read them. I admire the fact that you write the way you do.

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  23. Holy crapshoot people can be vile!! Not you, tho, b/c you're awesome.. Like that "I Dress for Men" post? Simply perfect. Plus, it's what got me to follow you in the 1st place! So dear Raven, don't take it down. Don't succumb to pressure from the jealous low-lives out there.. Also, unless you *absolutely have to* for some reason, please don't stop blogging. Many of us need a role model like you in Blogland! Lastly, wishing you the bestest to you and yours. B/c did I mention that you're awesome? Yup I did.. Thought I'd say it again so you don't forget and remember that you have lots of fans out there :)..

    Have a great day and thanks for your blog!!
    Xo,
    Annie (www.theRantingLatina.com)

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  24. Marissa Mayer (Yahoo CEO) is receiving a lot of vitriol for saying she isn’t a feminist and that the word itself has taken on a negative meaning. I thought your original post was funny. The people who got worked up about it particularly the ones who got nasty should probably find more productive ways to spend their time.

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  26. I started reading your blog about 6 months ago, and I don't think once I have ever felt mentally offended. Want to know why? Because this is YOUR blog, and I choose to read it. I absolutely love that you are honest, you speak your mind, you're fun loving, but still so family oriented, and no matter what you speak what you feel. I also love that you let your readers comment what they wish to say about it. With that said, I think all those girls took your previous post wayyy too far. People need to realize this is your blog, and you have the right to say as you wish.

    You're hot, your family is beautiful, and you enjoy your life, so screw all the haters. You have nothing to apologize for, but I respect the fact that you wrote this to clear some things up.

    I believe I dress for what ever the hell I want. Be that, I'm going to the bar, and want a guy to notice that I was aiming to please him, or I was sitting at home in sweatpants from high school, and my hair in an un-brushed mess. DO YOU! Not what other want from you, and that is why I continue to look forward to reading your blog.

    Have an amazing day!
    -Jalie

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  27. keep in your work as long as you telling the true dear..

    Xoxo, Ila :)

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  28. Dumb, straight up dumb! You shouldn't have to make an apologies. Its your space and your opinions. I for one, loved that post (and so did my husband) and agree with almost all of it. And I think the feminist jokes are funny, along with the jokes about any race on earth as well as liberal jokes. Keep on keeping on!

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  29. I only just started following you a couple days ago. I wish I had found you sooner. I feel like a creeper especially for admitting this, but I spent some time reading back on a bunch of your older posts. But you know what? I enjoyed it because you're probably the most honest and open minded blogger I've seen in awhile. I'm tired of those who are "business bloggers" or caring too much about what their readers think.

    Stay true, girl

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  30. I'm still a fairly new follower, so I haven't yet stumbled across your I Dress For Men post until now, but ouch. The backlash on there is just vicious. *wince* Honestly, you don't even have to apologize for it. Yes, better wording could've been used for the post, but it's still pretty apparent to all your readers that you're someone honest and can be very frank with a topic. I personally may not agree with all your thoughts, but I appreciate how you're not biased with your readers. You have all my support! *huggles*

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  31. I just read your "I dress for men" post and giggled. Yes, I am a grandmother and I do all those things! Never thought about it until I read it. But, be assured, if I looked like you did, I would dress for men too (or undress for them)! There was nothing offensive in the post and if somebody had a problem with it, THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM!

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  32. I think this is great, I also think the post in question is great. We live in such a hyper-sensitive world that sneezing the wrong way will offend thousands. It's interesting to find out what the root of all your haters issues are, is it because they secretly deep down wish that they had the courage to write such an authentic post? Or maybe they agree with you but can't figure out a way to express that without compromising whatever it is that they pretend to stand for. Keep on rockin' woman, I enjoy what you're doing, I think your posts are refreshing and hilarious. And to all those offended feminists, who's hearts are still in overdrive from the aforementioned post, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the main notion behind being a feminist to project unity among women, to build us up as a whole....seems to me like ripping someone apart for expressing herself (freedom of speech, yee haw!) is doing the exact opposite, no? Have a great Monday!

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  33. I read blogs to see what other people have to say. plain and simple. sometimes i think "omg i love that. i wish we could be friends in real life." and sometimes i think "eek, i don't agree". either way, i can still respect that everyone has a right to their opinion. and then i move on with my day. and fyi - i am usually all "omg, i want raven to be my real life friend". because who wants to live in a world with people 100% just. like. them. ?

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  34. That is crazy! I can't believe people were posting about the post and asking people to tell your sponsors about it! WHY do people care so much? That is what I don't understand. Who cares. You are who you are, you dress how you dress, and if people don't like the things you say, they don't have to read your blog. It's above and beyond mean and nasty to go and post negative comments or to blast negativity all over the web like that. And if those same people were standing in front of you, I can put money on the fact that many would not have even said the things they said on your blog. Yeah, yeah you improperly worded something, it happens, but more or less, the people who support you got what you were saying (I understood what you meant!) and you should by no means be persecuted for it. Just my two cents.

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  35. wow, i can't believe some people emailing your sponsors and told them to talk to you. i mean, you talk your mind and i'm not always agree or like your opinion or what you do. but there's a way to point out our different point of view. not hatred. it's not like you're going to trigger a destruction to human being or what. some people really need to learn there's something in this world called jokes and sarcasm. but again, of course it's internet. an open space where people can post what they want to say. they can say negative comments and you DEFINITELY still has every right to say what you want to say too.

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  36. I have to admit, when I read that original post I was a bit offended, as I am a feminist and I do not think that men hate me. I am married to a wonderful man who also considers himself a feminist. I also want to point out that many of my feminist friends are stay at home moms who keep an orderly house and do not work. It is my number one fantasy!! Anyway. that is not the point, I am sorry that people were so rude and mean and childish to you in their comments. I think they were just expressing their opinions as you expressed yours. I do not think they were right, I never think it is a good idea to outrightly be so mean.

    Anyway, my point is, as a loyal feminist reader I do appreciate you making an effort to say that the way you worded something was offensive. I also appreciate that you did not remove the post or turn off comments. It is your blog and you wrote about it and you should stand by what you wrote.

    Signed,
    your feminist liberal follower. ;)

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  37. I don't know why so many people are getting their panties in a twist over the post. So what if she dresses for men? I thought blogs were all about people voicing "their" opinions?

    If you like cargidans, awesome... she doesn't. Maybe her man doesn't. Your man loves the cardi? FANTASTIC. Do you not realize that as much you are criticizing her post and her opinions, you are doing the exact.same.thing. by voicing your own?

    I think her post was brilliant. Maybe if more of us women "dressed for men", there'd be less affairs. Who knows? Just a thought. (Now don't go jumping down my throat for saying that, my opinion.)I bet Raven and her man have a healthy, active sex life. And as much as no one wants to admit it, sex is SUPER important in a relationship. If you and your man dont have sex often and he says to you "It's all good."... trust me, it's not. All. men. want. sex. all. the. time.

    My man appreciates when I dress for him. Just as much as I appreciate when he makes himself all hot for me.

    Feminists shmenists.

    Seriously, all you angry people and your comments... let it go.

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  38. I loved that post! I enjoy your honesty... please don't ever stop!

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  39. I only started reading your blog recently so I had to back up and read your old post to understand this one.
    I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you let us know where you stand. That's why I read your blog- for that breath of fresh, funny air. I also think it's really cool that you left all of the comments up. Discussions and emotions are good things to have.

    I have to say, though, that I disagree with pretty much everything you posted in your "I dress for men" post. But it doesn't mean I think you deserve to be shit on for it.

    I don't really care about the fact that I may love my cardigans and you may hate them. And I identify myself as a feminist but that doesn't mean I don't agree that some feminists suck. We're all just people, right?

    Jenn
    With Luck

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  40. Great post! Its great that you were able to admit that some parts of it were poorly worded but I read some of those comments and WOW people are down right nasty. I hadn't seen that post till now but I couldn't agree more! When I do go shopping and decide to dress myself in something that 30 3 year olds won't ruin its always for men! I love your honesty!!

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  41. You're a ho and I'm a hooker who wears red lipstick. It's cool, we get each other.
    As long as you keep up your day drinking and our drunk text convos I'm here to stay. And by "here" I mean that one of these days you better be greeting my ass at the airport in a big ass bird costume.

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  42. Regarding this post - Bravo! I cannot respect people who bash you for your OWN opinions and try to force their opinions onto you or make you feel LESS b/c you don't believe what they want to believe. First and foremost you should always be true to your own feelings. I wish I was as brave to put everything I feel/think out there the way you do. I just don't have the energy sometimes to deal with the small minded people out there that bash those who stand by their beliefs & don't concede.

    Regarding the other post - what kills me is that so many people said "you should dress for you" - but dressing to please your significant other is what made you feel good, so in essence you do dress for yourself. You don't please your husband b/c he forces you, you please him b/c you love him and he's worth it to you.

    My two cents, for what they're worth!

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  43. Amen, sister! Can't wait to read the next post!

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  44. I'm glad you posted this. I got all Curious Cat this weekend and skimmed through your special little tribute on Get Off My Internets, and Good Lord --- there are some nasty specimens there. Some to be expected: they don't like you, and who cares? Not everyone will (I tend to think I'm a fairly likable gal, but I have a slew of coworkers who just don't agree; what a shame). But some of these women get entirely too spooled up over that Raven gal, even going so far as to wish you, your marriage, and your loved ones ill. I mean... really?? I find that far more distasteful than anything I've read here.

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  45. Dude, I went to an all girls college, and it is SO EASY to lump all feminists into one category. They actually protested a bake sale because it meant you were "oppressing women into the kitchen". I have no patience for stupidity, so I clearly was very vocal about a lot of the bullshit there. Bottom line is that not everyone will agree with you, ever about anything. You're sort of damned if you do, damned if you don't, but as long as you're staying true to you and being who you want to be, no one can fault you for it.

    Besides, there are worse people in the world. Like Ann Coulter. And Justin Bieber.

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  46. bad press is better than no press, right?! :)

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  47. Darling Raven- I know how you feel. Sometimes I post things thinking I worded every last thing correctly only to cringe when I read it a few days later and wonder why I put it THAT way. Not that I didn't mean what I said- but I just wasn't a fan of how I decided to project it. I also find that in order to really commit to an "I have this opinion" post- you have to just state your opinion, no-holds barred and NOT take the time to say "but PS- I obviously get why Feminism is good, etc. etc." as it can take away from the 'fun' of an unapologetic opinion post. Hopefully that makes sense. I must say- I love cardigans, love red lipstick and consider myself (and my boyfriend to boot!) to be feminists in the sense that I believe the feminist movement is about 'choice'. Period. So while I disagree with points of it, I get the overall fun in a good, ol' fashioned- HERE'S WHAT I THINK post. I love them and it makes your blog that much more fun to read. xoxo!

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  48. this is why i love your blog so much. while i don't know you in real life, i feel like i do because your writing and point of view on all things in life is very authentic. you speak your mind and tell it like it is without being catty or defensive and you OWN it. so many people would have taken that post down or moderated/deleted comments but i love that you just let it run it's course. that's some serious authenticity that is missing in the blog world. so much of it is about the perception of others, making your life, relationships, home, worldly possessions seem like the best out there and i pity those people. you can't be an opinionated person and not be an open-minded person at the same time. if you are going to express your (possibly controversial) opinion then you absolutely better be ready for the other side of the argument & you are that 110%. you keep it real & that's why this is a blog i will visit daily as long as you continue writing.

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  49. and THIS is why you are one of my favorites.
    you are honest, and don't change just because someone disagrees with you.

    XOXOXOXOX
    Sarai

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  50. All I have to say to this is don't even waste your time engaging with these crazy asses who sit at home, reading these blog posts that they "don't agree with but feel the need to write a book of a comment on". You can't argue with stupid and they want you to get into it with them because this is the extent of the excitement in their life. I love your blog and I 100% believe in being able to say whatever you want on YOUR blog. If someone doesn't like it, then maybe the shouldn't read it. There are plenty of liberal, feminist blogs out there that they would find more appropriate to their lifestyle and should spend their time on those blogs. But still, they don't. That just tells you that those girls like drama and go around causing it. It's kind of sad and kind of funny at the same time. I can assure you those same girls saying things like "Raven you are stupid" (um really? how tacky and lazy is a comment like that. Are we in 2nd grade when all we know how to say is "you're stupid"?) are going to be commenting on this post too, but keep writing how you do and keep saying what you want. There are plenty of us who love it and will keep reading and leaving positive things.

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  51. Yes I agree with Sureye! You are one of my favorites! I read you every single day since I found your blog. You keep on going girl and let the negativity just slide right off your back!! :)

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  52. I'm wearing a cardigan today. Just sayin'.... And I will tell you that when I wear them I always think about tweeting a picture to you, just for a second :)

    Andi think you have a good stance on you being open and letting your commenters be open too.

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  53. Stay real Raven!!! Thats we all love you!!

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  54. I'm wearing a very similar J. Crew top at the moment, but that is irrelevant. I think that people should blog for themselves, and if for you that means writing about how you dress for me, more power to you. If people don't want to read about it, they don't have to. Blogging should be for yourself and not an audience!

    Happy Monday!

    Sheree
    The Hartungs Blog
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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  55. Hey Jack, it's your blog and you can say what you want. And I just read the "controversial blog" and it wasn't a big deal. Maybe these girls should read my post, It's a Pink Pink Kinda Day. Just let people be themselves! To like someone, to admire someone doesn't mean we will agree with everything they say or believe. Chill out people. Let the girl have her thoughts.
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

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  56. BTW, And I am proud to pay to be on your sidebar!
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

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  57. I have always tried to listen to others opinion and know that I can't change your opinion, so don't try to change mine. Life would be so boring if everyone was alike. EVERYBODY deserves their own opinion. There is no point in being nasty and trying to yell at someone because there is different. It is a love and hate with the internet that people can write whatever they want and you can connect with so many people you wouldn't be able to, but people can write whatever they want when it is negative.
    I love what you do, keep it up!

    Merchon
    20somethingbusinesswoman.com

    ReplyDelete
  58. I really appreciate this post. I love that people think they can tear down others for their different opinions but FREAK OUT if anyone tries to say anything about what they think. There's no way we can please everyone!

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  59. I love this post! It's your blog - you make the decisions. So simple, but at the same time, so profound :) xo! eliza

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  60. Holy F$@k people need to chill out. Who gives a shit if you dress for men...you're not a stripper, at least I don't think you are. After reading those comments I dislike feminists a little more now, what a bunch of assholes.

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  61. Yay! Big day for me. Raven joined my blog :) I heart her and so should everyone else!
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

    ReplyDelete
  62. Truth be told, I bet my money on a TON of these criticizers feeling somewhat ashamed because THEY dress for men. The feminist movement tells them that's wrong, the post-feminist movement tells them that's wrong, etc, but it's all bullsh*t. They want to act like showing off their boobs and 6 inch heels makes them feel good? Riiiiiiiight.

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  63. Could you have worded things a little differently? Probably. But could all those people spouting off with their negative comments have chilled out a little as well? Definitely.

    Thank you for standing true and being honest! This is why your readers love you <3

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  64. I loved that post from the day I first read it and sometimes go back to check the comments. I just want to say that the Brittany girl who keeps commenting not only to you but attacking other bloggers who commented is a freaking nut.

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  65. This post was great! I love when I read something and kind of shake my head at a sentence or two going "what on earth, that's a little extreme"... then you have a follow up post explaining your thoughts on it. I love that you take in account what your readers have said. People are just too crazy nowadays... way too extreme, can't take a joke at all, or at least figure out it was meant to be humorous before you rant and rave... and even then, why so hateful? I consider myself a feminist, but definitely not a crazy one, I consider myself a Liberal, but definitely not a crazy one. (There are always crazy extremists in all aspects of thought I think.) I dress for my husband too but every husband is different, right? Why must people feel the need to get so offended by a difference in opinion (mind you, you can state your opinion with maturity and openness)? If whatever you are doing doesn't affect/hurt me or others, who am I to judge? Love your blog!

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  66. Wow! I had no idea people get so uppity. I admire you for putting it all out there for your readers (and the world) to see. I agree with you for not taking the post down. It's your blog and your 'documentary'. You can look back and see so much of your life and remember this happened then and I learned this from that. Everyone is entitled to share their opinions, yes. But, so many people take it to the extreme and when they get to voice it behind a screen it just brings out a whole new side-sometimes for the worst. Keep on with your bad self. We who get you appreciate your sharing and don't overthink it. It's a blog people!

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  67. People are so ridiculous these days. I couldn't help but truly laugh out loud at all of the comments and trolling going on. If you disagree with someone's post you can still say it, but all you really need to say is we can agree to disagree. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, some of them make your life better and some of them are just their to make you laugh. Kudos to you for being exactly who you are, that is one thing that has made me absolutely love your blog!

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  68. I just went and read all of those nasty comments that were left and I am DISGUSTED!! They say you were the one that was in the wrong.. I can't possibly see how after reading what they wrote. Anyways, I loved that post, this one and you. Disagreeing with you is one thing, bullying you is something that pisses me off. Keep on rockin love! xoxo

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  69. THIS is why I continue to read your blog Toots! Do I agree with everything you say? NO! Am I sometimes shocked at the words on this blog? SURE! BUUUUUTTTT that is what makes this darn planet go round and round.....DIFFERENT people. If we all had the same opinions, same thoughts, same looks, same blah blah blah this world would be extremely boring. And if you know me, I don't do boring. You keep up the good work!
    PS I said it on the original post and I'll say it again "Men are visual creatures!" Yes I often dress for men too....but I still enjoy my cardigan and top knot at least twice a week :)

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  70. Hey, I've been following your blog for a little while now (i.e. lurking) & as I am soon to embark on the blogging journey myself I just wanted to thank you for your complete honesty. It's really refreshing and inspirational that you are so completely honest and yourself. I appreciate that you don't hold back your opinions, nor do you apologize for your beliefs. I'm glad there are bloggers out there like you to help future bloggers like me! Keep it up!

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  71. I thought the post was great and feminists are too angry for my tastes.. apparently pretty bored too. The comments made me mad, especially since reading this blog among about four great others is my "new thing"-- instead of comment on the other comments, all I have to say is Live it, Love it, Own it! Your honesty is not only humorous but endearing!

    ugottahavehart.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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