Vegas Conversations

11.20.2013

**sometimes I like to re-post some of my favorite old posts, such as this one. I figured with yet another Vegas stint right around the corner, 
it was a good choice. (also, I was feeling too lazy to write a new post)**

blurry photo, but let's face it, so was most of the weekend

me: um, what is all this food doing in our room?
rob: you don't remember? You ordered room service last night.
me: I ordered all of this?! (there were like 4 entrees)
rob: yes Raven, you did. $100 worth of room service and you only ate the fries.
me: oh. oops.

me: Rob, I'm pretty sure this isn't our hotel room.
rob: well then how did we get in here?
me: I have no idea, but this isn't our room. This isn't our stuff.
rob: oh shit someone is sleeping in the bed, hurry go out!

randy: hey Raven, I really love your Target boots.
me: bitch, they are Fergilicious and if you say that to me again, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

me: (when I wake up in the morning) omg Rob what happened to your face?!
rob: what do you mean?
me: go look in the mirror.
rob: holy sh*t I think I'm going to need stitches!
randy: yeah, you should be thankful I didn't have a needle and thread with me or I would have stitched that up myself. I usually carry a set in my pocket.

me: did I wear Spanx last night?
rob: no idea. you wore some fat reducing thing.
me: oh yeah I wore them then.

me: (going through my pictures on my phone) wait, I ate a hot dog last night? omg! we were at a concert last night? Is that Elton John?!

randy: hey Raven, I like your Target boots.
me: eff off. don't you own any shirts with sleeves?

rob: this isn't Las Raven, its Las Vegas. don't kid yourself.

me: ah, how nice! you made me a drink?
rob: that's the drink you carried up from the bar.
me: oh yeah.

randy: hey raven, you have no idea how lucky you are to be here right now and not in jail.
me: what do you mean?
randy: you don't remember?? you tried to take a gun out of a cops holster.
me: what?! shut up. no I didn't.
randy: yes you did. if I wouldn't have reached over and grabbed your hand when I did, you would be sitting in a Las Vegas jail with Buster right now.
me: (so confused) when were we by a cop?
randy: seriously? our cab driver got pulled over last night.
me: what?!

me: (later on that day) omg! I have video on my phone of that cop last night! Apparently I recorded the whole thing!
rob: you recorded the cop? I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

randy: so we have tickets to Nascar tonight...
me: huh? who did you get those from?
randy: Steve.
me: Steve?!
randy: seriously? you don't remember Steve from last night?
me: no.
randy: you only hugged him fifty million times.

rob: hey Raven, do you remember trying to eat with chopsticks last night?
me: take a wild guess.

me: um, what are these marks on me?
randy: I think you got tasered by a cop last night.

brandy: the Toby Keith bar was so fun last night.
me: did I go to the Toby Keith bar?
brandy: no. you passed out at 6 pm.

me: I want to order room service
rob: no.
randy: you know when you order room service at 3 am that you are getting a Van Wilder.

randy: that girl over there said she liked your boots. I told her you got them at Target.
me: I hate you.

***********************************

Tomorrow I will be recapping the rest of our Vegas vacation along with more pictures, the story of Coco the bouncer and the amazing British-Canadian guy we met in the pool.


Sh*t My Kid Says

11.19.2013


gunner: I hate these pink pants.
me: they aren't pink, they are light maroon.
gunner: huh? what is maroon?
me: maroon is an offset of pink. a distant cousin of sorts.
gunner: I hate these pink pants!

me: before I met daddy I lived in a house by myself.
gunner: you lived by yourself? you didn't have any friends?
me: I had friends but I lived alone.
gunner: oh. that's really sad.

as I was styling gunner's hair before school:
gunner: I don't want a mohawk.
me: too bad. you have to make yourself look presentable before you go places.
gunner: but you never make yourself look pretty before we go places?

colt: werkjdsf lfdv lzdfkgjubfdgh dkjebzx
me: what?
colt: oisdfb wiu fkjhsdbwe vkjzsd
me: what??
gunner: he said he wants some juice and a waffle.
me: oh. ok. thanks.

gunner: can we fly my kite today?
me: no, it's too windy.
the next day...
gunner: can we fly my kite today?
me: no, it's not windy enough.
gunner: mom now I think you are just being lazy.

colt: I'm mad at you!
me: that's ok.
colt: I don't like you!
me: that's ok too.
colt: I don't want you to be my mom!
me: haaaaaa!!! sucka you go boy! you go find someone else who wants to be your mom and tend to your snot nose and wipe your butt. good luck!

me: so gunner, what did you learn in school today?
gunner: I'm not telling you.
me: ok. so what was your snack today?
gunner: I'm not telling you.
me: ok. so we have to stop by Target and I don't want to hear a word out of you.
gunner: we learned about the republic of Mississippi and how many stars there are in the sky and I chose chocolate pudding as my snack now do I get to pick out at a toy?



Just a day in the life.



 photo Signature_zpse142e6d1.png
 photo SubscribeButton_zps2c924856.png