Someone was feeling left out. He wanted in on his own "if you really knew me" post.
So here it is. In his own words.
If You Really Knew Me... By Gunner James Smith.
* You would know that the only reason I'm always naked is because my mom is too lazy to do the laundry.
* You would know that I'm scared of eggs, only because my mom used to throw raw eggs at my face and tell me to "catch."
* You would know that my little brother thinks I'm Superman. Which would make him right.
* You would know that I love snakes.
* You would know that I'm scared of vacuum salespersons.
* And sled dogs.
* And my mom. *side eye*
If you really knew me...
* You would know that my mom has forced me to sport this fauxhawk thingy since as far back as I can remember, which isn't that far, considering I'm only four...
...but still, I hate it.
* You would know that my mom is a hypocrite. She gets me in trouble for saying the same words that she says all. the. time. Hypomom is what she is. Call her that. She likes it.
* You would know that my mom owns, and wears, at least four different cardigans. BAM! there I said it.
* You would know that I know more about Dr. Phil than I wish to. Btw, who was that Dina Lohan chick that was on the other day? She seemed nice. And hot.
* You would know that when my mom asks me how many cookies I had, I always say "only one." Kind of like when daddy comes home from work and asks mommy how many drinks she has had. Hey, I learn from the best.
* You would know that I'm a daredevil. Fun is my middle name and badass-ery is my game.
* You would know that my little brother thinks I'm Superman. Which would make him right.
* You would know that I'm scared of vacuum salespersons.
* And sled dogs.
* And my mom. *side eye*
If you really knew me...
* You would know that my mom has forced me to sport this fauxhawk thingy since as far back as I can remember, which isn't that far, considering I'm only four...
...but still, I hate it.
* You would know that my mom is a hypocrite. She gets me in trouble for saying the same words that she says all. the. time. Hypomom is what she is. Call her that. She likes it.
* You would know that my mom owns, and wears, at least four different cardigans. BAM! there I said it.
* You would know that I know more about Dr. Phil than I wish to. Btw, who was that Dina Lohan chick that was on the other day? She seemed nice. And hot.
* You would know that when my mom asks me how many cookies I had, I always say "only one." Kind of like when daddy comes home from work and asks mommy how many drinks she has had. Hey, I learn from the best.
* You would know that I'm a daredevil. Fun is my middle name and badass-ery is my game.
And finally, if you really knew me, like, really really really knew me...
* You would know that I secretly plan to vote for Obama. 'Cause I want me some free candy.
* You would know that I secretly plan to vote for Obama. 'Cause I want me some free candy.