*wakes up early and makes her kids breakfast. And I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. My kids are my alarm clock and even then, I usually banish them to the freeway until I'm good and ready to get up.
* is sentimental. My kids bring home all sorts of papers and "crafts" from school every day and it's "oh how cute!" and then straight into the garbage it goes. No I don't keep them and hang them on the fridge and no I don't have a special drawer for them to go. I mean… egads! Clutter!
* gives a shit if my boys want to paint their nails: pink, glitter or glittery pink.
* enjoys playing board games with my kids. I would rather scrape my eyes with toothpicks than play Candyland. That's what grandparents are for.
* goes by the "rules" that "those people" profess. No bottle after age one? No paci after two? Kids shouldn't mix your cocktails and don't lock them in their rooms with tin foil over their windows so they don't know day from night? Only one person makes the rules in my house and it isn't Dr. Spock. (Real quick, with the tin foil, make sure you get every single inch covered so not even a sliver of light shines through. Trust me, it makes a huge difference.)
I am the kind of mom who:
* will always rush to my kids when they are crying and hold them as long as they want. Their dad can be the one to say "brush it off, throw some dirt on it and you're fine."
* will not let my kids puss out. They don't want to go down the ski hill? Too bad. They don't want to ride the inner tube? Too bad. They want an easy ride being pulled behind the 4-wheeler? Not gonna happen. Scare the life out of them on purpose? Absofreakinglutely. I've said it once or twice but mama ain't raising no pussies.
* sends them to timeout in their bedroom and then accidentally forgets about them on purpose.
* will never allow my child to get bullied. If you are the parent of a child who is bullying mine? You better handle it chop-chop or I will.
* has a zero tolerance rule in our home for bullying. If I find out one of my precious angels is causing another person strife in that way, life as they know it will be over. Like a bat outta hell…
* tells my boys "I love you" about fifty times a day, kisses them on the mouth still and stares at them while they are sleeping.
* finds it just a littttttttttle bit easier to love my kids when they don't look like total dweebs. Sorry not sorry but it's true. See?
* reads my boys two books every night before they go to bed. Every single. Never miss a one.
* uses my kids to get out of speeding tickets. Whenever I get pulled over (not that it happens, like, a lot or anything) I say to them real quick before the officer approaches, "now, as soon as you see the police man at my window, start shouting 'we love the police! I want to be a policeman when I grow up! Blue is a good color on you! Please don't give my mommy a ticket, she can barely afford to take me to Hawaii again this year!'"